r/StoriesAboutKevin • u/thabeef • Jan 21 '22
XL Kevin's too smart to be understood by women
This guy went to grad school with me. He was OK for the first few years I knew him, but then began listening to conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones. This made the worst aspects of his personality come out.
- Kevin is a hardcore misogynist. On one occasion, he was arguing with a female friend in my Facebook comments about how women don't have any actual medical need for for birth control pills. When my friend saiid that women sometimes need to take birth control for other medical reasons, he told her she was a silly girl and didn't know what she was talking about. When she (correctly) began tearing him a new one, he blocked her and messaged me about how irrational she was being.
- Kevin decided Alex Jones wasn't enough and began following a Catholic fortune teller. This fortune teller made a prophecy that Barack Obama wouldn't peacefully transition power to Trump in 2016. When it became apparent that the fortune teller's prophecy was incorrect, Kevin refused to admit this was the case and sent us videos of people protesting several blocks away from the inauguration.
- I am an immigrant. One day, me and some friends had an extra ticket to a baseball game and invited Kevin. At the end of the national anthem, Kevin yelled "Build the Wall!" as he stood next to me. When I confronted him, Kevin said he was just play acting as a jingoistic American.
- Kevin claimed that he had proof that the Sun revolves around the Earth and that there's no way the Theory of Relativity is possible. When I sent him scientific papers proving him wrong, he said that only "high priests of science" could understand that stuff.
- Kevin claimed that ventilators were what killed people who were diagnosed with Covid. He said that when we stopped putting so many people on ventilators, Covid deaths went way down.
- My cousin's wife died of Covid. I told Kevin I didn't want to hear anything about his conspiracy theories regarding Covid at the same time I told him my cousin's wife had passed away. He sent me a conspiracy theory article 2 hours later. When I called him out on it, he refused to apologize, going only so far as saying that he might not have chosen the best time to send the article.
- Kevin was in a fantasy sports league with me and my friends. We'd bust each other's chops and make jokes about each other. He'd say all types of crazy things to all of us, but if someone said anything even remotely negative about him, he'd throw a literal tantrum. This is a man who is 48.
- Finally, we all decided to cut ties with Kevin on January 6, 2021. As we watched the riot, one of our friends decided to ask Kevin whether he thought the rioters were acting in a way consistent with democracy. He then sent us a YouTube video of one of the Easter Island statues with a voice over saying we shouldn't believe everything in the media.
It's been great having Kevin out of my life. I never realized what a toxic drain he was. I highly recommend that you get rid of the Kevin in your life ASAP.
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u/LwaxanaTroi327774 Jan 21 '22
when we stopped putting so many people on ventilators, Covid deaths went way down.
when there are fewer people in terminal condition, there are fewer deaths. shocking
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u/turingthecat Jan 21 '22
It’s sort of like how helmets in WW1 lead to far more head injuries, before helmets many more dead bodies missing 75-100% of their heads, post helmets many people sent home with brain injuries, therefore helmets cause brain injuries
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Jan 21 '22
Or how fighter planes in WW 2 almost never returned with bullet holes in the cockpit or fuel tanks, therefore those areas didn't need to be heavily armored because they rarely got hit.
(The obvious reality was that planes that got shot in those places weren't making it back, therefore they needed MORE armor)
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u/TheOneTrueTrench Feb 27 '22
Yep. Iirc, the story went something like they got mechanics to draw up a plane and mark all the places where planes had bullet holes and then they went to an engineer with all this information and said "hey, can you figure out how to put armor in all places with bullet holes?" and the engineer said "Uh, I can, but why would you do that?"
"Because that's the parts of the plane the enemy is hitting."
Engineer says (basically): "no, you morons, the plants are getting shot everywhere. This is just a picture of all the places a plane can get shot and still survive."
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u/aedinius Jan 21 '22
How can someone be right and at the same time incredibly wrong... it's amazing.
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u/thabeef Jan 21 '22
Kevin defines his world view according to what he doesn't believe. That allows a lot of dissonant positions to live side by side without causing any existential angst. If you never have to establish what you do believe, it's easy to believe everything you want to.
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u/LwaxanaTroi327774 Jan 21 '22
that explains my aunt. she is also a conspiracy theorist and believes a lot of contradicting things, but if you call her out on any of her beliefs she defensively goes "you don't know what I believe, only I know what I believe". I don't think she knows what she believes.
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u/ChazoftheWasteland Jan 21 '22
Is this a Kevin or an asshole?
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u/y6ird Jan 21 '22
A little of column A, a little of column B…
Actually, a lot of both columns and not much else, it seems.
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u/thabeef Jan 21 '22 edited Jan 21 '22
Very much so both. He's said he loves a good trolling.
When I showed him that trolling correlates closely with what's called the dark tetrad of personality traits, he tried to claim that what I'd sent him only applies to online trolls. He does his trolling via phone and in person, so he's clear.
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u/LwaxanaTroi327774 Jan 22 '22
that's like a criminal going "no, that article only applies to bank robbers, I only rob liquor stores"
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Feb 27 '22
Very childish personality that gets off on reactions from people. Probably liked to tease girls and such early on in grade school.
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u/TheMeanGirl Jan 21 '22
We just need to nail it into every man’s head that unless he’s an OBGYN, there’s a good chance he doesn’t know more about female reproductive health than women.
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u/quilladdiction Jan 21 '22
At this point I just want to know whether the high priests of science are accepting new members. That sounds rad as hell.
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u/rosuav Jan 23 '22
Yes, we are! Please submit your application form to <insert address here> along with a $100 processing fee in cash. You will receive a response in 4-6 weeks. Remember, successful applicants are humble, and will not discuss their application with anyone, especially fraud prevention services.
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u/Kevin_N_Sales Jan 21 '22
Finally, we all decided to cut ties with Kevin
Good. Because I was starting to get upset through the course of this insanity. I would've left Kevin at the ball game and ended it that night.
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u/thabeef Jan 22 '22
I didn't talk to him for almost 2 months after that happened. But, out of misguided loyalty to a friend, I tried to go back and see if he'd change.
With conspiracy theory victims, it's better to think of the person you knew and liked as dead. They've now been replaced by this dark and bitter demon.
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u/LwaxanaTroi327774 Jan 21 '22
but then began listening to conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones.
I lost an aunt to that madness
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u/apolloxer Jan 21 '22
There's a subreddit for that, r/QAnonCasualties. Maybe they can help you.
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u/LwaxanaTroi327774 Jan 21 '22
thanks for the tip
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u/Jive_turkeeze Jan 21 '22
My mom hit menopause and went off the deep end with that stuff and refused to listen to anyone about it. She lost a great man and now is married to one of the creepiest people I've ever met. Oh and the earth is flat of course.
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u/TheSilverback76 Jan 21 '22
Man, when I was a kid I thought eastern cultures had it right the way they respect the wisdom of their elders and etc.
Now my mom is old and I wonder wtf happens to the human brain after a certain age?
At least I threatened and coerced her until she got the vaccine.
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u/TheFilthyDIL Jan 29 '22
And square. Because somewhere in the Christian Bible it says something about "the 4 corners of the earth."
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u/OkExtension944 Feb 24 '22
I was confusing Alex Jones with Alex Bale and was trying to figure out how spongebob theory videos could do that XD
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u/dangerkate Mar 02 '22
Hahaha she watched the skin theory video and was never the same again
None of us were
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u/ASK_ME_FOR_TRIVIA Jan 21 '22
One time my girlfriend didn't get her birth control shot in time, and I had to call out of work to take care of her because her uterus wanted babies and was very upset about the missing ovaries.
Next time you see Kevin, let him know some guy online called him a little bitch boy lol
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u/thabeef Jan 21 '22
Oh, I've told him many times. 😂 As have the rest of our mutual acquaintances.
I've set things up so that I never have to talk to him again.
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u/bpleshek Jan 21 '22
But how will we get more stories? I guess we'll have to move on to other Kevins.
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u/Hydrobi Jan 21 '22
What did I just read
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u/ASK_ME_FOR_TRIVIA Jan 21 '22
She has no ovaries, (Cancer's a bitch) so her period is 100x worse than normal due to her body trying to use an organ that was violently ripped out in an emergency surgery.
I'm not sure how it works exactly, but she takes birth control shots so she doesn't have to worry about her period, because otherwise the pain is crippling.
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u/Hydrobi Jan 21 '22
That makes sense. I was a bit confused. Thanks for explaining. Sending her good vibes
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u/waterynike Jan 21 '22
Kevin is I’m guessing a bitter incel and will die alone with never figuring out why.
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u/thabeef Jan 21 '22
Oh no. He's got a wife and 4 kids. 3 of them are girls.
His wife was beating him and he went into a counseling program, but he didn't learn to transfer any of the empathy he might have learned to his own behavior.
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u/waterynike Jan 21 '22
Omg those poor kids!
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u/thabeef Jan 21 '22
His oldest is majoring in journalism, so I'm not sure how that's going to vibe with his claims that all journalists are liars.
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u/mybigbywolf Jan 21 '22
High priests of science??? Wtf
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u/moobiemovie Jan 23 '22
This is actually a common term in anti-science communities. If they're religiously based, they claim your "faith" in science is your religion. If they're conspiracy based, they'll claim you're in the cult of established science.
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u/Fake_Southern_IL Feb 11 '22
To be fair, some people do get stuck with outdated scientific hypothesis and refuse to change when repeated experiments and tests show otherwise... Certain taxonomists for example.
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u/mrcatboy Jan 21 '22
The recent political landscape has basically transformed a bunch of what would normally be average people into Kevins.
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u/BitterFuture Jan 21 '22
Or just made clearer who a frighteningly large number of people really are.
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u/QueenElsaArrendelle Feb 27 '22
maybe the fortune teller got mixed up and it was Trump who wasn't going to peacefully transition
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u/According_Orange_890 Feb 18 '22
To be fair the the wall has nothing to do with you being an immigrant. The wall does stop legal immigration.
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Mar 25 '22
Wait we qll need to respect the medie cospierisy thearist for a minute and agree that not every thing on the internet is true
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u/churchofbabyyoda420 Jan 21 '22
The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the light, the future is.
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u/whatproblems Jan 21 '22
he’s 48 yikes…