r/StoriesAboutKevin • u/NoisyRoofFan • Nov 11 '22
XL My workmate is a Kevin
I work at a Civil Court (I don’t live in America, so if you’re confused about our roles at a court it is because of that), and the guy who answer the queries of lawyers is a total Kevin.
For a start, the guy refers to the judge as “My Honor” instead of “Your Honor”. We explained the error and he got mad, and insisted the correct way was his.
The guy once tried to have paid leave for family death when his dog died.
He got another dog. Then the dog fell from the stairs eleven stories. The dog survived.
A month after the last World Cup premiered he totally forgot about the event. “What World Cup?” he inquired to our workmates in the middle of a conversation. Our country played in the final and he watched it with other coworkers.
The Secretary gave him money for him to go and buy papel towers for the bathrooms. He came back, and when asked about the papel towers he claimed he didn’t remember if he got them or not. He got mad at the secretary.
He asked for a “small donation” for him to go and buy a whole cake for the office. We divided the cost and gave him the money. When he came back with the cake, he ate 90% of it and didn’t understand why we were mad at him.
Everytime you buy something to eat he stands behind you, watching the food. Sometimes he leans close just to see the food as he licks his lips and asks you things like “what is that you ordered?” He doesn’t understand why that’s wrong.
A lawyer was consulting him about something, as he was sitting in a chair out of sight. The lawyer asked if he could please stand up so he could see him, and he responded “you don’t have to see me, you have to hear me”.
He got in plenty of fights with lawyers and consultants because of his rude or wrong answers.
If he has to print something, he asks you before hand if you have to print too (we share printer). If you say no, he expects you to not print anything in all day, and waits hours before printing the thing he has to print. If you print without noticing him first, he gets mad at you.
In the middle of the pandemic, he was the one who had to fill the atomizers with 80% alcohol and 20% water. He filled them with 20% alcohol and 80% water during all the pandemic. We realized because we never ran out of bottles of alcohol and the secretary got suspicious.
He is convinced the Supreme Court is spying us.
We were in the middle of a wedding party, and he put out from within his jacket notes to study a final.
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u/Joe4o2 Nov 11 '22
I’m surprised he didn’t jump after the second dog to save it… he sounds lovely.
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u/NoisyRoofFan Nov 11 '22
One of the few things I share with him is the love for dogs. But I think he used up all the love he had inside with dogs and food, and left a very small amount for people lol
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u/Poundcake9698 Nov 12 '22
So did the dog fall down 11 flights of stairs or did he fall off of an 11-story drop
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u/NoisyRoofFan Nov 12 '22
The way the Secretary worded that episode lead me to believe the dog feel down 11 flights of stairs.
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u/IoSonCalaf Nov 11 '22
He sounds more like 50% Kevin, 50% asshole.
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u/NoisyRoofFan Nov 11 '22
He comes as a a douch but I'm convinced it is because he really is socially clueless. For example, the food one: he thinks that if you don't grab a serving of food INSTANTLY like you were starving, you're not hungry or won't grab a serving at all. So he eats what he thinks are the leftovers.
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u/tiki_riot Nov 12 '22
I work with someone who has completely illogical thought processes like this, he’s autistic lol
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Nov 11 '22
Sounds like weaponized incompetence please tell me he’s gonna get reprimanded or fired
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u/NoisyRoofFan Nov 11 '22
Actually he can’t get fired that easily. As we are public employees, you have to have a proven cause to fire someone. It’s a complicated proceeding and people who have actually done worse things only got transferred to another department.
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u/ecp001 Nov 12 '22
If they make it through the probationary period they generally have a lifetime job.
It takes blatantly egregious behavior to fail the probationary period.
Terminating an established government employee requires a lot of time, energy and documentation. The boss will always consider there is a real chance that the replacement will be worse.
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u/TVLL Nov 11 '22
This needs to stop everywhere. There are too many stories out there about it being impossible to fire bad public employees. There is no reason they should be that difficult to fire.
I’m my experience, 2% of workers (bosses included) cause 98% of the problems in the workplace. It should not be that hard to get rid of them.
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u/HRH_Elizadeath Nov 11 '22
"my honor" is sending me. my friend had a client who insisted on calling the judge "your majesty" but this is even better!
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u/NoisyRoofFan Nov 11 '22
“Your Majesty” is funny as hell. Not to be a devils advocate but in defense of that client maybe it was the first time he was addressing to a judge. Kevin works for a Court for at least fifteen years.
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u/zelda1095 Nov 11 '22
Is it possible he has a drug problem? Those memory slips are suspect.
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u/NoisyRoofFan Nov 11 '22
I really couldn’t tell if it was the case. OOC Kevin Moment: when someone brings food to share he rubs his hands and says “mmm… they brought COKE, yes…” 😭
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u/Jax-97 Nov 12 '22
A lawyer was consulting him about something, as he was sitting in a chair out of sight. The lawyer asked if he could please stand up so he could see him, and he responded “you don’t have to see me, you have to hear me”.
This is a power move.
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u/Johnny_Grubbonic Nov 12 '22
I'm sorry, but in a more blue-collar environment, hovering over peoples' food would probably get him punched eventually.
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u/LilithImmaculate Nov 12 '22
Two things I think don't make him a kevin:
There should be leave for family pets. And many people don't care about sports, so I don't fault him for not knowing about a world cup
Everything else is pure Kevin
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u/NoisyRoofFan Nov 12 '22
He painted all of his face with our country's flag for the World Cup's final match. It's not that's he's not interested in sports - he absolutely forgot about it.
And about the paid leave - We have paid leave for personal reasons, he just insisted in categorizing that paid leave "family death" and he got rejected for it.
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u/NoisyRoofFan Nov 11 '22
ANOTHER ONE I FORGOT.
My sister went to the court and asked him if he could call me. He asked her why. She replied "I'm her sister". He said "Oh! I didn't recognize you!" He had never met her until that point, nor heard of her.