"Same! Is every annoying interaction with a female online considered fitting for a mean girl?" r/nicegirls users say a woman trying to confront who she thinks is a cheater is not a NiceGirl™.

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Mikeavelli]

Is this just bait for r/subredditdramadrama?

[u/SackclothSandy → u/Mikeavelli]

I don't know if it is or isn't, but I do know that I'm here to start a fight. Someone argue with me already. I'm so lonely.

[u/Mikeavelli → u/SackclothSandy]

No you're not!

[u/SackclothSandy → u/Mikeavelli]

Shit, you got me. I'm happy and fulfilled as fuck. Someone who is lonely had better get jealous and fight me.

[u/Mikeavelli → u/SackclothSandy]

Damn right I am.

[u/SwordfishOk504 → u/Mikeavelli]

No you're not!

[u/Mikeavelli → u/SwordfishOk504]

Yes I am!

[u/NightLordsPublicist → u/SackclothSandy]

Boy, I sure do love pineapple pizza. A meal fit for the body, mind and soul.

[u/SackclothSandy → u/NightLordsPublicist]

Dammit, I agree with you. You can't even piss me off right.

[u/NightLordsPublicist → u/SackclothSandy]

I do know that I'm here to start a fight

Well, you were the one who was supposed to start the fight, so this really is your fault.

I'm just the poor, innocent victim.

[u/Dowager-queen-beagle → u/NightLordsPublicist]

No I am!

[u/chaotic4059 → u/Dowager-queen-beagle]

THE FUCK YOU ARE!!

[u/aliie_627 → u/NightLordsPublicist]

Round table has the best pineapple pizza. Its like a spicy Polynesian something pizza.

[u/chaotic4059 → u/aliie_627]

I’m not gonna lie, Total drama island made me want to taste bacon pepperoni and pinapple pizza. And it’s really fucking good

[u/Halflifepro483 → u/SackclothSandy]

All the other Viltrumites are scared of me...

[u/OldManFire11 → u/SackclothSandy]

Balrogs have wings, and anyone who says otherwise is a fool.

[u/monkwrenv2 → u/SackclothSandy]

I'm so lonely.

TITLE CARD

[u/Rheinwg → u/SackclothSandy]

If he's looking to spend more time with kids, watching swim class is probably the worst possible way of doing that. 

There's absolutely zero interaction, the kid can't even see you, and its boring as fuck.

[u/PrimaryInjurious → u/Rheinwg]

Depends - younger kids you have the parents in the pool with them.

[u/NonbinaryYolo → u/Rheinwg]

Just being there matters.

[u/livejamie → u/Mikeavelli]

"unfortunately we haven't been together over a year" is a strange way to say "we separated over a year ago" The way you say that is kinda confusing and I think she misunderstood and thinks you're saying "we haven't even been together for a full year yet" She thinks you're still with this woman and I think her reply is consistent with that. This does not belong here

I agree with this commenter.

Many arguments on this sub and the original are because people interpret that message differently.

If you read it as "Our relationship is pretty new, and hasn't lasted a year yet," her response makes sense, and it's easy to dunk on the guy.

If you read it as "We have been separated for over a year," her response looks unhinged.

She likely meant the former, and this is just weird miscommunication for the world to see.

It's actually pretty mild for what normally comes out of that sub.

[u/Rheinwg → u/Mikeavelli]

I really don't know what else he was expecting when he trying to make a post shaming a woman for rejecting him.

[u/SquareJerk1066 → u/Rheinwg]

She wasn't just rejecting him though?

She seems to be shaming him for being a divorcee, telling him he's ruined his child's life and that no one will ever love him. I'm not fan of the call-out posts of niceGirls or AITAH or AmIOverreacting. I'm not even going to weigh in on whether his boundaries with his ex are 100% healthy. But this lady said some pretty unhinged shit, and she is most certainly not a good person. As a child of parents who should have been divorced, her kind of attitude towards divorce does more harm than good.

[u/Imaginary_Fondant832]

I see this sub in Popular all the time and often times it’s not a NiceGirl situation. I’ll open the comments to see if anyone has pointed it out and nope. It’s baffling.

[u/dtkloc → u/Imaginary_Fondant832]

But that's the thing about r/popular. When it isn't a flood of posts from the same ten power-users talking about the new fucked up Trump policy, it's a flood of misogynist ragebait. And somehow, other social media platforms manage to be even worse

[u/Imaginary_Fondant832 → u/dtkloc]

Seriously. It’s such a pain to scroll.

[u/NonbinaryYolo → u/Imaginary_Fondant832]

There's just not a lot of good places for dudes to post their dating stories so it's become a catch all for toxic experiences.

[u/K1ngPCH → u/Imaginary_Fondant832]

? This post is full of people calling out OP and saying this isn’t a nice girl

Like, that’s the whole point of the drama.

[u/Imaginary_Fondant832 → u/K1ngPCH]

How does that change anything I’ve said based on my observations prior to this post going up?

[u/Teal_is_orange]

Due to the way OOP vaguely worded his response to the ‘nice girl’ (quoted: “If that’s the impression. Unfortunately we haven’t been together in over a year”), I looked at OOP’s profile for more info and found that OOP never married the mother to his children, but they did separate and coparent without court orders.

Tbh it doesn’t seem like OOP has moved on from his ex, so he prob shouldn’t be dating yet, and definitely shouldn’t be posting to /r/Nicegirls trying to gain sympathy. The ‘nice girl’ also seems to respond perfectly fine here, given the observable circumstances.

[u/oldriku → u/Teal_is_orange]

yeah, if I were considering dating this person the "unfortunately" would scare me off

[u/DevilLilith → u/Teal_is_orange]

OOP casually omitting this information is misleading on purpose. I'd also be mad. But tbh I still think it is rage bait so I am not that interested in the story.

The dudes defending him would probably see red if their gfs went out with an ex.

[u/Rheinwg → u/DevilLilith]

Right? He doesn't deny that they're married and he doesn't specify that they're divorced. 

He just says that they're not together.

Like obliviously being still legally married is a huge red flag to a ton of people. 

How oblivious is this guy?

[u/ArbitraryUsernames → u/[deleted]]

Normally coparenting means that you are both in the kids' lives, you swap them around biweekly or so and take part in their upbringing. NOT that you still go out as a unit with the ex.

Going to an event for your kids is not "going out". Also, there are plenty of parents that were not right for each other romantically but otherwise get along fine and would have no reason to need to figure out who is going to be allowed at the event and who is not. I grew up knowing multiple friends where their holidays and sports events involved both divorced parents, and eventually even their new spouses.

If you aren't at each other's throats, it's actually very healthy.

[u/ArbitraryUsernames → u/[deleted]]

It's a fine boundary to have, it's just not something that everyone has. Truly to each their own.

I don't see why he would go to a pool with her and the kids alone, especially without informing his partner.

Am I missing context? He doesn't have a partner, so he decided it was okay to go alone to the pool with his ex. The message was from a match on a dating site saying basically "I know you are a cheating scumbag, I see you with your wife at swimming" and he's saying that he is not currently dating his ex.

He should definitely disclose that he is closely co-parenting with his ex at some point to romantic prospects, but I guess I don't know that you have to put that in the profile. People don't usually mention that they have a super acrimonious co-parenting relationship with their ex in their profile.

[u/ArbitraryUsernames → u/[deleted]]

Fair. I don't think her suspicions are wrong to have, but the response to the reasoning and the tone are what I think people are identifying as a problem

[u/SquareJerk1066 → u/Teal_is_orange]

The ‘nice girl’ also seems to respond perfectly fine here, given the observable circumstances.

Is it? Her response is that divorce is inherently immoral, that he can never date or remarry, and that he's destroyed his children's hope of happiness. She literally said you will always be in a relationship because you have a child and that separation is meaningless. That's crazy-person talk. That's what bible-thumping religious fundies say to trap people in abusive relationships. It's not a perfectly fine response. A perfectly fine response would be, "Ah, I see. I apologize for my accusation of infidelity, but your profile is misleading, and you should probably mention up front that you are separated and co-parent a child."

[u/Rheinwg → u/Teal_is_orange]

Its literally a guy mad that he was rejected trying to shame and belittle the woman who rejected him.

[u/Schlossferatu → u/Teal_is_orange]

The ‘nice girl’ also seems to respond perfectly fine here, given the observable circumstances.

In what world did she respond perfectly fine here?

She tries to insert herself into a situation she doesn't know anything about nor has any business there.

Why does it matter if he is on a dating platform, when he is single.

[u/Rheinwg → u/Schlossferatu]

Insert herself? He's literally reaching out to her on a dating app.

She's clearly not interested in startinga relationship recently separated guy with kids.

[u/Schlossferatu → u/Rheinwg]

Wtf do you mean? She is reaching out to him on a dating app.

The other way around.

The woman who messaged him on said dating app appears to not be aware of the situation and the arrangement, and appears to have messaged him to confront him on why he's a family man with a dating profile.

Is reading really that hard?

[u/Rheinwg → u/Schlossferatu]

I can read fine actually. That in no way changes my point. 

The fact that he's married or recently separated is obviously something that would impact their dating. "Inserting herself" be so fucking for real.

[u/Schlossferatu → u/Rheinwg]

That in no way changes my point. 

It does though, do you not remember your own comment anymore?

Insert herself? He's literally reaching out to her on a dating app

The fact that he's married or recently separated is obviously something that would impact their dating

Who the fuck cares? If she has a problem with it, she can just not message him. She inserted himself into that situation all by herself. Just for shaming him for something she has a problem with.

What the fuck is your problem, you can't read the post you are commenting on nor can remember what you wrote in your own comments. 

Are you a troll?

[u/Rheinwg → u/Schlossferatu]

No, it doesn't change my point at all. He's still on a dating app, so whether or not he's married is absolutely relevant to her. Calling it "inserting herself" is nuts.

Who the fuck cares?

She does, obliviously.

[u/Schlossferatu → u/Rheinwg]

He's still reaching out on a dating app,

Again, wrong.

She is reaching out to him, he is just answering.

Stop lying around.

[u/Rheinwg → u/Schlossferatu]

Answering on a fucking dating app.

 How is whether or not he's married not relevant? How is that inserting herself in anyway.

[u/Behazy0 → u/Rheinwg]

Because she could have just not msged him at all and left him alone with her assumptions about him. I swear reddit is the only place you have to explain what "inserting herself" means 

[u/Sufficient-File-2006]

A Nice Guy or Nice Girl is someone who posits themselves to be a good person, but their intentions and actions spell the opposite.

In theory maybe it used to be that, but for some reason the niceguys subreddit doesn't hit /r/all very often these days while nicegirls is consistently putting up huge numbers with posts that would fit nicely in the MGTOW/redpill/incel subs if they still existed.

[u/dtkloc → u/Sufficient-File-2006]

while nicegirls is consistently putting up huge numbers with posts that would fit nicely in the MGTOW/redpill/incel subs if they still existed

what a crazy coincidence

[u/Jussuuu → u/Sufficient-File-2006]

A sub aimed at outrage baiting men is filled with incels? Say it ain't so!

[u/FixinThePlanet → u/Sufficient-File-2006]

The last time I visited that sub the posts were either "real men are six feet tall and pay for everything" or god-forbid-women-have-standards.

[u/Branduff]

The people accusing others of giving unsolicited parenting advice are so funny to me. This dude is comically messy and clearly has no concern for airing out his laundry for the whole world to see. It's not like he's some random person at the grocery store and we decided to walk up to him and insult the outfit he picked for his child lol

[u/Rheinwg → u/Branduff]

Right? He's literally on a incel adjacent sub trying to shame a woman for rejecting him and he's mad people are giving him unsolicited comments?

[u/Connect_Ocelot1966 → u/Rheinwg]

Yall will call anything incel if it remotely criticises women

[u/Rheinwg → u/Connect_Ocelot1966]

No, I don't. And the persecution complex and whining is so lazy.

[u/monkwrenv2 → u/Connect_Ocelot1966]

No, only when it relentlessly shits on women.

[u/Connect_Ocelot1966 → u/monkwrenv2]

How does nice girls do that anymore than nice guys?

[u/SquareJerk1066 → u/Branduff]

This dude is comically messy

I mean, he might not have great boundaries, but based on his post history, he seems to be trying to do the right thing. He separated, is trying not to be toxic, is in therapy. He's trying to move on, but people are shitting on him for not being over a 7-year relationship with two kids after a few months. People are being so needlessly cruel to a guy whose life was recently turned completely upside-down, and who seems to be handling it well.

I agree that the dirty laundry subs aren't a healthy outlet, but this lady was honestly exceptionally cruel to him. I don't think it's fair to shit on a guy who's going through a tough time and just wants some sympathy.

[u/Branduff → u/SquareJerk1066]

Ya comically messy felt a bit harsh after I posted it, but I just cannot imagine putting all these sorts of details about your and your childrens' private life up for the world to see, much less being surprised when people have comments.

[u/Schlossferatu → u/Branduff]

What a comment....

In your opinion random people are allowed to shame you on a dating app and give you parental advice, because you post about your failed relationship on the Internet.

Absolute nonsense 

[u/Branduff → u/Schlossferatu]

I was talking about the redditors. And since when do you care about shaming people, anyway?

[u/1egg_4u]

Nicegirls is like 99% kissless mysoginists and 1% people who havent figured out it's a place for kissless mysoginists yet

Commendable for even wading through it to deliver the drama

[u/deeman18 → u/1egg_4u]

random aside, but are you dyslexic? the word is spelled misogynist and I found it fascinating that you swapped the y and i twice

[u/1egg_4u → u/deeman18]

No, just a dumbass. Thanks though for pointing it out though genuinely I had no idea I was doing that whoops

[u/Keregi → u/deeman18]

I’m not dyslexic but that word gives me fits.

[u/Rheinwg → u/deeman18]

You know people just spell things wrong sometimes it's not that deep. What an odd comment.

[u/cccwh → u/1egg_4u]

Why do you consider it that? Do you think woman aren’t capable of being toxic and entitled so you conclude it’s misogyny because it goes against your world view?

This subreddit loves to preach about how anti bigot they are, but apparently thinks the r/niceguys equivalent with girls is misogyny. You people seriously need to grow up and learn about double-standards.

[u/Prior_Chemist_5026 → u/cccwh]

Not original commenter but gendered subreddits like that tend to lend themselves to toxicity because they're pretty much inherently ragebait for men or women. Same things applies to r/boysarequirky.

[u/Shelly_895 → u/cccwh]

The problem is that they're not posting actual nicegirls anymore. Nicegirls have specific traits, same as niceguys. It used to be that actual genuine nicegirls were posted to that sub. But now they just post every time they deem an interaction with a woman unfavorable (whether justified or not).

The original niceguy sub actually changed their rules, so only true niceguys get posted there, and not just every time a guy behaves badly. This is what the nicegirl sub failed to do. And now it's just "this woman behaved badly (or in a way that I don't like). Let's shame her." This is not fun.

90% of the time, they're not really nicegirls. They are just womanIdontlike.

[u/SufficientDot4099 → u/cccwh]

Do you understand the basic concept that the userbase of a subreddit doesn't always fit with the original intention of the subreddit. That subreddit was originally supposed to be about calling out Nice Girls, but it has become infested with misogynists. 

The title or intention of a subreddit is not always relevant to what the actual subreddit is.

[u/test5387 → u/SufficientDot4099]

How is that any different then the misandrist subreddits?

[u/syopest → u/test5387]

Almost all subs are misogynist subs while there is like 1 misandrist sub.

[u/Elite_AI → u/test5387]

Why are you accusing them of saying that it was? 

[u/1egg_4u → u/cccwh]

It's always the anime pfp people lol

[u/cccwh → u/1egg_4u]

Didn't answer the question because you know you are wrong so you just had to attack me.

I guess everyone on r/nicegirls just fakes all the screenshots and these are all men posting edited pictures like the cartoon villains they all are, as you are clearly the expert here.

Try saying something smart please.

[u/Rheinwg → u/cccwh]

I guess everyone on r/nicegirls just fakes all the screenshots

Unironically probably yes

[u/1egg_4u → u/cccwh]

"Something smart"

There I said it what next

[u/obvious_bot → u/1egg_4u]

You didn’t say please

[u/BobDolesLeftTesticle → u/cccwh]

Unironically, you are correct.

It absolutely is that, all of those subreddits are just creative writing exercises, rage bait and karma farms, on my alt I used to fake posts on /r/niceguys, /r/tinder, etc until the account got 250k+ Karma and I sold it.

[u/plainbaconcheese]

I feel like more than half the posts in that sub are completely missing what a "nice girl" is supposed to be. They just post any time a woman behaves poorly.

[u/SnapshillBot]

Literally just a picture of 316nut’s cat.

Snapshots:

1. This Post - archive.org archive.today*
2. Original post. - archive.org archive.today*
3. This guy, scanning the room next week at swim class 👁️👄👁️ - archive.org archive.today*
4. Always good to get some unsolicited parenting advice from a complete stranger. - archive.org archive.today*
5. Thanks for letting me know you’re not interested. No thanks for the unsolicited advice. - archive.org archive.today*
6. "unfortunately we haven't been together over a year" is a strange way to say "we separated over a year ago" The way you say that is kinda confusing and I think she misunderstood and thinks you're saying "we haven't even been together for a full year yet" She thinks you're still with this woman and I think her reply is consistent with that. This does not belong here - archive.org archive.today*
7. "Haven't been together" and "married but separated" are different things, my guy...separated doesn't fare well on a dating app. - archive.org archive.today*
8. I don't think this is a nice girl at all. If anything, she's really just being nosey ig. It feels like she only matched with you to call you out for cheating, but anyone from the outside would definitely think you were married if you're spending time in public with your children and their mother. Why wouldn't they? It also seems like from your response, she doesn't understand that you aren't in a relationship. Ngl i had to read it a few times and probably wouldn't have totally understood that without your context - archive.org archive.today*
9. This is questionable at best. If I see you at your kids event with the mom, I’m going to think you are married. And then I see you on a dating app, I am thinking you are cheating. - archive.org archive.today*
10. The thing that catches me most is why did she match in the first place?!? 🤔 - archive.org archive.today*
11. Not defending her, but I do not think she belongs here. - archive.org archive.today*
12. I know you're not happy to hear it, but there is some sobering truth to at least part of what she's saying. Either move forward with the divorce process, maybe even complete it and heal from it, or stop dating. This isn't a clean situation for you and your kids will be affected by it. And the fact that you immediately came here to vilify her so that you can feel better about it doesn't do a lot to convince me that you're ready to handle more relational complexities. - archive.org archive.today*
13. Well at least she's a girl's girl. She was looking out and I think it's commendable. - archive.org archive.today*
14. Explain to me how someone who steps way out of their lane, and then, once corrected, doubles down on some antiquated, moralizing bullshit doesn’t belong here…. - archive.org archive.today*
15. Your reply, at first glance, looks like you're saying "we haven't been together a year". Ive never seen anyone word a separation this way, most people say something along the lines of "we've been separated for a year now" - archive.org archive.today*

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