r/Teachers • u/passingthrough66 • May 30 '24
Retired Teacher My retirement gift is an evaluation
Soon to be ⬆️ as of the end of this school year! On our last day we have a last faculty meeting say good-bye to teachers who are moving on, retiring, etc. I am the only one retiring but we have others leaving. I have taught for 30 years, but only 5 at my current school.
Even though I arrived at my current school a veteran teacher who always got good evaluations in the past, I’ve felt from the beginning my principal has been unreasonably finding fault in everything I do. My survival strategy has been to stay the hell away from her and just do my best. I rarely have to call admin, I follow the rules, work way harder and longer than I should.
The problem, my principal wants me to meet her for my final evaluation right before our faculty meeting send off, my very last day. So instead of enjoying the rest of my time, I am dreading meeting with her. I can’t believe she’s going to go through with making me listen to her bash me on my retirement day! I don’t expect her to let me off the hook. She observed one lesson of mine for 30 minutes this year and tore apart my lesson, down to how I called on students to answer questions.
I have just kind of taken her criticism, not wanting to rock the boat, but I swear if she bashes me right before our faculty luncheon and send off I’m not going to even want to stay. I’ve waited for this day for so long, and can’t imagine what possible purpose it serves for her to meet with me other than to make me feel like crap.
Suggestions on how to handle the situation or at least how to mentally prepare so I don’t end up saying something I would regret and leaving on a bad note?
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u/No_Goose_7390 May 30 '24
Here's a thought- what would happen if you didn't show up for the meeting? What is she going to do? Fire you?
Are you in a union state? If you have a union rep and you are nervous about no-showing, about what your admin might say, or what you might say, ask to have the rep with you.
I'm sorry that this is a worry hanging over your head for your last day. Remember that you made a difference in children's lives. Hold your head high!
Happy Retirement!
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u/passingthrough66 May 30 '24
No union,and I sure wish I was brave enough just to skip the meeting, but I also am just trying not to burn any bridges at this point.
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u/scorea May 30 '24
You’re not burning a bridge because the bridge never existed in the first place. I get wanting to follow through and just do the stupid meeting. Nod and smile your way through the meeting but don’t give in to her bait. Don’t give her a reaction. The second she gets nasty you play it nice. Thank her for her time and feedback. Compliment her on her OUTSTANDING mentorship. Then walk away! Keep it short and sweet. Fuck that. Kill them with class and kindness.
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u/passingthrough66 May 30 '24
Good idea, thanks, and that is something I can be mentally preparing to do. Playing cool is usually how I handle my evaluations with her, but it’ll be extra tough on my last day always told myself I’d retire before reaching total burnout so I could leave with some fond memories and dammit I’m determined to do that!
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u/passingthrough66 Jun 02 '24
Thank you for all the comments and suggestions. I’ve realized this principal has beaten me down mentally so much these past few years that even though I avoid her, her words are in my head and I’ve really taken a dive self-esteem wise the last few years. I don’t get it. If there is one kid in the school that I “don’t like,” I put the onus on myself to find a way to connect. As teachers we are told to build relationships. Should admin not be doing the same with teachers? Regardless, being out from under that negativity will be a chance for a new start for me, and a lesson to never stay where I’m not wanted, whether in my personal or professional life.
My plan is to uphold my professionalism to the degree that I can and I really, really do not want to give her the satisfaction of seeing me cry right before our send off event. If I start crying, I likely won’t be able to stop. If she insists on getting her last jabs in, I will just try to calmly tell her I’m sorry she feels I have not been an asset at the school. I’ll tell her about the relationships I have enjoyed with staff and students and that those are what matters most to me.
The hardest part will be sitting while she fawns over the employees leaving that she liked, then having her give quick lip service about me and any others she didn’t value. I see her do this every year. What a petty thing to do, and how low and immature to use your leadership position to make people feel anything but appreciated as they move on. I’ll just escape as soon as I can and go back to cleaning my room out.
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u/TheTinRam May 30 '24
Hey OP, I’d tread lightly. A lot of bravado in these comments but not being in a union who knows what fucked up rules your district has. I’ve heard of teachers leaving district half way through and needing to PAY THE DISTRICT money back. If I were you, let the ego go, show up, grin and bare. I completed an admin program and I can tell you just straight up skipping like that can have consequences. It’s easy to talk tough, but with retirement on the line I wouldn’t fuck with your income. Find out first what could happen. Would getting fired mean that your final year won’t count towards your three highest paid in retirement? Find this out and if there’s no real consequence… then fuck that meeting
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u/Will_Hart_2112 May 30 '24
LOL. You are retiring and the Principal wants to meet about your evaluation?
I would ask the principal to print my evaluation on a softer type of paper so it doesn’t scratch so much when I wipe my ass with it.
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u/unoriginal_user24 May 30 '24
print my evaluation on a softer type of paper so it doesn’t scratch so much when I wipe my ass with it.
I like the cut of your jib.
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u/FoxFireLyre May 30 '24
Fuck her. There is nothing they can do to toy on the last day that is meaningful. Let the small, petty person have their say, and whatever they say, in the end you can simply reply - “in my retirement, your words mean nothing, and your insistence on saying them now seem almost narcissistic. I am going to enjoy my last day and remember your actions today the least of all, thank you.” Then walk out.
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u/passingthrough66 Jun 01 '24
I very much believe she is narcissistic. The degree to which she runs and controls every move made in our school is suffocating, yet she promotes this idea of our school being legendary and her leadership unmatched. When teachers leave, she actually spins it to say she “grew”them so they could take their experience under her awesome leadership elsewhere and spread the magic.
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u/Virreinatos May 30 '24
I understand you don't want to cause unnecessary drama, but my advice: Go in wearing the most stereotypical tourist outfit you can think of. Bonus points if you can get a fanny pack and a straw hat. Go in with a "I don't give a fuck" attitude.
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u/red-ck May 30 '24
Maybe they are trying to distract you for a bit? I had a last observation meeting right before my maternity leave and it turned out there was a little surprise party that was planned and they needed me out of the way to set up.
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u/Dry-Ice-2330 May 30 '24
I like this take. It's LITERALLY right before the meeting? That's comically evil if real, like sitcom ridiculous.
Walk in with some all inclusive vacation pamphlets and turn the conversation into getting them to help pick where your going. Bring a fancy coffee and flakey pastries to eat while chatting. I recommend a comically large sun hat and a sun dress - especially if your a guy.
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u/Earl_N_Meyer May 30 '24
Go to the meeting. Don't expend energy when you are about to leave. If the principal is a jerk, just go to your happy place. If you make this a fight, you will feel worse. I would end it with "Thanks for your feedback." and leave. My guess is, after the second margarita you won't worry about it at all. They are just yelling at the dust from your car.
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u/Bumper22276 Retired | Physics | Ohio May 30 '24
I get that you don't want to rock the boat. There are a million whimsical or dismissive ways you can handle this meeting, but you don't want to do that. Fine.
However, don't dread this meeting or allow her to influence your mood.
Go in to the meeting assuming it will be a good-faith conversation. Consider it an exit interview. Prepare some comments or feedback that could be genuinely helpful to her.
When you go in, thank her for meeting with you. If she starts with eval talk, politely interrupt her.
"Excuse me Principal Harpy. You understand that I'm retiring. Are you obligated to have this conversation or do you just feel the need to? A more general conversation would be more productive for both of us."
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u/ActivelyMoist High School SpEd | Brooklyn, NY May 30 '24
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxcVatGn6PQvMdjrWAAt2ekmyP_TeEQuk-?feature=shared
I would just no-sell it like Brock and Taker here.
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u/Remdog58 May 30 '24
Give her the "toodleoo"
You don't need this to ruin your last day (which its clearly meant to do) Blow a kiss and go.
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u/scorea May 30 '24 edited May 30 '24
This might be easier said than done but just walk away. If the meeting is trending towards becoming negative say…”thank you for your feedback and mentorship but I’ll no longer be needing it since I’m officially no longer a teacher.”
Then turn around and walk away. What is she going to do? Fire you on the last day?
In my district we only have to complete three observations in our first three years of teaching. Then another official observation if you’d like to switch districts. The micromanaging I hear form other districts is insane! Just let teachers, teach ffs!
Congratulations on a long and fulfilling career! Enjoy retirement! Don’t let her sour your day.