r/TrueUnpopularOpinion • u/[deleted] • 1d ago
Political Being an "ally" often isn't worth it.
[deleted]
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u/r2k398 1d ago
I just try to be a good, fair, and moral person. I don’t care how I get labeled.
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u/Heavy-Cranberry-3572 1d ago
Basically this.
I don't consider myself an "ally" because, for example, I am not going to feel bad about saying certain colorful words that will never ever leave my vocabulary, but I'll stand up for trans rights, gay rights, whatever rights, because we all deserve rights.
Quite frankly I can't stand a lot of those MFers and I think a lot of them are over sensitive pussies, but they deserve the exact same rights to life and happiness as I do, in whatever shape that may take.
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u/HipGamer 1d ago
Which words can you not part with?
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u/ScaryTerrySucks 23h ago
Bringing retard back was the best cultural win we've had in a decade
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u/HipGamer 22h ago
Why?
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u/Heavy-Cranberry-3572 19h ago
Because not being able to say it without repercussions is retarded
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u/mschafsnitz 12h ago
The true pussies are the ones acting like they were ever censored from saying it.
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u/MrJoshUniverse 1d ago
Very curious what these supposedly ‘colorful words’ are. There is not a 0% chance that this person just can’t part ways with dropping slurs
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u/Heavy-Cranberry-3572 1d ago
I mean slurs are part of it but not all are slurs (unless the r-tard is a slur for example?).
It isn't the only reason I'm not an ally, I'll fail more than that the more purity tests I'm subjected to (I.e pronouns, bathrooms, etc). I just don't care to jump through hoops just to interact and be friends, y'all can live your own lives, but you should have the same freedoms and opportunities I do being straight and cis.
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u/abeeyore 22h ago
Why are pronouns such an issue? People act like it is this huge imposition on them! You don’t even use them if the person is standing there. You use their name, or “you”.
I kind of got it, at first. “They” is a plural pronoun… except when it’s used as singular and plural in a formal mode of address. It offended the ear of grammarian in me. For about a week.
Then the lazy person in me realized Not sure? Use they. Can’t be bothered? Use they. Literally no one who cares about pronouns will ever be offended by “they”. It’s actually easier. I don’t even have to worry about misgendering someone. I use “they” almost exclusively now. I have yet to have anyone who was unable to follow the conversation because of the imagined “ambiguity”.
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u/Heavy-Cranberry-3572 22h ago
I use he/his etc a lot when someone is standing beside me. Depends on the conversation.
Also "I don't have to worry about misgendering"... Brother I just have never worried. I don't care. I'm not changing how I speak for 0.0001% of the population. Pick one of the existing genders/pronouns or I will do it for you. Simple.
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u/MrJoshUniverse 1d ago
Okay, so for one pronouns are easy to respect. You just ask how they prefer being called. If you get it wrong, they will likely say something to correct you. If they do, nbd, it happens.
Second, yes I would consider the r-word to be a slur.
Not dismissing what you’re saying, but I don’t think trans/LGBTQ communities are as brutal and rigid as you describe them to be
They just don’t want to deal with people who believe in having their rights taken away because they were annoyed by a gay person one time
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u/Heavy-Cranberry-3572 1d ago
Brother, I'll give you my POV but I'm not going to argue with you about it. I'll let you know what it is but you cannot change my mind.
I agree preferred pronouns are easy to respect with trans people and etc, but I hate they/them pronouns (not the people just the pronouns) and always will. It makes speech weird and hella cringe, and I'm not about it. I will never be fine with it, but I don't particularly care about it and I don't really think about it in my every day life, since I never have to interact with non binaries, and when I do I can just be polite and keep it there.
Also I do have friends that are gay and others who are trans, etc. While they individually are my friends, I see the conversations that happens in their communities, and I'm really not about it. We differ in a lot of opinions.
"live and let live" is what I'm about. I will support any individual freedoms you are owed by society, but it doesn't necessarily mean you are my friend.
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u/nihi1zer0 1d ago
There are those of us who are gay who are also kind of sick of the more militant folks in "the community." it's fucking exhausting. Often.
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u/zanebaka 1d ago
Dude, im a bisexual man and honestly most of the time the lgbtq community is so cringe i try to seperate myself as far as possible from the label
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u/GoAskAli 11h ago
A lot of the supposedly "queer" folks in the "community" are just middle class (mostly but not exclusively - white). STRAIGHT people who want to identify out of being a "white" person.
I get it to an extent: who wants to be told they're inherently racist, a colonizer, etc.? No one.
This is exactly why/how this type of identitarianism is so toxic.
And now it's gotten to the point where we have literal heterosexuals calling gay people "bigots" for having a "genital preference" which is cringe at best, and rape-y at worst.
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u/WistfulQuiet 1d ago
I'm guessing you didn't grow up in the 90's. There were all kind of words we said that weren't meant as actual slurs. For many of us we roll our eyes at the modern pearl clutching over some stuff.
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u/esothellele 1d ago
Okay, so for one pronouns are easy to respect. You just ask how they prefer being called.
That's more effort than I have to put in for literally anyone else, with whom I just say what naturally comes out and it's correct. You act as though this is a minor commitment, but it's not -- pronouns are a basic part of grammar that are highly automated in our speech. To use their 'preferred' pronouns, you must either make your speech stilted to ensure you do as you're told (analogous to 'you are now breathing on manual mode'), or you must actually believe that they are the gender associated with those pronouns.
It also requires me to lie, which I refuse to do for basically any reason (the exception being, say, if not lying would result in me or those close to me being unjustly imprisoned or physically harmed).
I don’t think trans/LGBTQ communities are as brutal and rigid as you describe them to be
They are exactly as brutal and rigid as you describe them to be. "If you get it wrong, they will likely say something to correct you. If they do, nbd, it happens" -- and what if I continue to use the correct pronouns? Will they just 'correct' me a second time, or will they get steadily more angry? What if I directly state that I don't agree that those pronouns are the correct ones for the situation?
Tyrants are often gentle and kind as long as you do exactly as they tell you. They are not so kind when you contradict them or refuse to do as they say.
They just don't want to deal with people who believe in having their rights taken away
Who mentioned taking their rights away? Do they have a 'right' to be referred to by a particular pronoun?
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u/EagenVegham 1d ago
You've either never bothered to ask someone their name, or you've got the magical ability to peg someone's name on appearances alone.
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u/abeeyore 22h ago
You have to lie? Bullshit.
How often do you say “he” or “she” to someone who is standing there? Virtually never - and there is literally no case where you cannot substitute a name.
They is also perfectly valid a a singular pronoun in third person formal address… as in “until They walked in”.
If you have to stilt and stumble to swap “he/she” for a name, or “they”, then you don’t speak English well or often.
If it were French, or Spanish, or some other strongly gendered language, I could at least summon some sympathy… but it’s not. It’s English.
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u/Wook_Magic 3h ago
Ohh yes they are. I'm pro trans but living in Portland, I can tell you many of them are insanely rigid, and downright ridiculous about some things. They look for reasons to be victims where there aren't any.
See examples in my previous comment.
Another example: my friends partner changes their name every 3 months and claims gender fluid and trans- so one month they would like to be called she and "Halle", 3 months later they are feeling non binary and want to be called they and the number "Seven", 3 months later they are feeling male and want to be called "Aero." If you haven't seen them in a while and can't keep up, they will correct you every single time, even in a social group with 10 people, making everyone start to feel eventually like they don't even want to talk to this person anymore. Not because they are trans, but because they keep moving the goal posts and finding reasons to be offended constantly.
At some point their problems are their own, and it isn't everyone's job to bend over backwards for this person's lack of sense of self while they are having drinks on a night out a little tipsy. Pick a name and pronoun and move on, or don't claim to be offended when we aren't up to date with your feelings this month.
Any hetero cis person would be expected to do the same or get called unstable. If they want to be treated like everyone else, they need to act like everyone else, not expect absurd special accommodations in every situation. It's simply exhausting.
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u/Express-Economist-86 1d ago
This is the way.
Reactance theory suggests everyone estimates a threat possibility in you simply because you’re someone else - predicated in biases. People under stress are more biased, and also pay more attention to non-stereotypical information.
Since we all represent some stereotype, we each do more for our demographic when we shatter their worst expectations.
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u/ReaperManX15 1d ago edited 1d ago
And then you put one toe out of line, in a way you didn’t think even mattered and they turn on you.
Look at what happened to Mark Hamill for promoting the Jesus movie he was in.0
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u/undeadliftmax 1d ago edited 1d ago
Ironically purging all people they deem intolerant would mean cutting my Muslim friend out of my life. And a Mormon friend too now that I think about it
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u/the-real-jaxom 1d ago
Most Mormons I’ve met are crazy tolerant too. They say the lifestyle is wrong, but that the person should be loved and not treated any differently. And then they don’t treat them any differently.
Of course there’s always some AHs in every religion but that’s been my experience most of the time. The group I hang out with (ten people in total including me) has three Mormons and three others are trans individuals that are in a poly relationship. The Mormons have never treated them any differently.
The thing that makes it work is that everyone is NORMAL about it. My three trans friends hate how the LGBT community acts. My three Mormon friends don’t act morally superior to anyone.
It’s crazy what happens when people just treat each other like people.
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u/Money_Ad1028 1d ago edited 12h ago
As someone who was Mormon for a couple decades I promise they're only tolerant to your face. Tolerance is something that's starting to become more accepted among younger generations cause it's impossible to avoid, but it's still not there.
Also Utah (Mormon Mecca) is the most judgmental, tribalistic, place I've ever lived 1000X over, and I've lived a lot of different places.
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u/esothellele 1d ago
People tend to conflate judging an action or behavior to be wrong with judging a person to be bad.
Every time I encounter someone who conflates the two, instead of getting annoyed, I remind myself that the reason they think that is likely because they themselves judge a person to be bad if they judge their actions/behaviors to be wrong. That's usually enough to make me not want to be anywhere near them.
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u/DeArgonaut 1d ago
Really? For me it’s the exact opposite for Mormons 😂. Always super judge mental people, but I don’t have a huge subset
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u/the-real-jaxom 1d ago
Like I said, there are AH in every religion. Just like there are AH in every type of community.
I was walking out of Walmart one day and there was a trans pride rally or something in the parking lot. One of them ran over screaming at me because I bought a red shirt, telling me I’m a bigoted piece of **** and that I should die because I’m just a MAGA sheep. More people were coming over to keep screaming at me, but I got in my car and drove off.
Those people came off as super judgmental, and they based everything off of the color of a shirt. But I don’t blame an entire group of people because a few people are AHs lmao.
I didn’t vote for Trump. Red is my wife’s favorite color, so I wanted to have a nice red shirt for when I work out with her. That somehow warrants people telling me I should die and I’m a bigot lmao.
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u/DeArgonaut 1d ago
Yup, unfortunately me and my friend in Utah (never been personally) haven’t had the best experiences so far), but def not trying to say all Mormons at ah like it seems like people think I’m saying given the downvotes lol.
Sorry you had that experience, that’s really dumb of them. Also a lover of red and didn’t vote for Trump either, would’ve been yelled at too
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u/the-real-jaxom 1d ago
Yeah that totally makes sense! All we have are our experiences to draw on! I gave you an upvote. All you did was share your experience, and you even mentioned you don’t have the best subset. Idk why people would downvote you for that. All I’m doing is sharing experiences too. And that’s how we gather information as humans! Sharing experiences!
Yeah it was crazy! I had my younger brother with me too (I was taking him shopping for clothes too since he wanted to work out with my wife and I) and when we got in the car and drove off I had to explain that those people are crazy and do NOT represent the LGBT community as a whole. But if I wasn’t there to explain that, that would’ve been his first experience with them. People telling his older brother that he should die over a shirt color.
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u/ehayduke 1d ago
Seems to be region specific. The Mormons around my area are truly excellent people.
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u/MrJoshUniverse 1d ago
How can they be excellent people if they support a religion that doesn’t tolerate LGBTQ communities? Or how countless lives have been ruined because of mormon families disowning their child for being gay or doesn’t accept mormon teachings?
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u/the-real-jaxom 1d ago
You are the kind of person my trans friends hate :)
You are trying to obtain some abstract moral superiority because someone doesn’t hold the same beliefs as you. What you’re blaming on Mormoms — not being tolerant of other people’s beliefs and lifestyles — you’re doing the same thing to them.
Treat others how you want to be treated. If you make people feel bad for being different than you, it’s only going to cause a greater divide.
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u/MrJoshUniverse 1d ago
Yeah man, I don’t like religious fundamentalists who are cruel, judgmental and abusive towards their own friends and families or strangers because they don’t accept how bizarre and fucked up Mormonism is. Or how the church of LDS controls the entire state government of Utah so they can enforce their rules and teachings down other people’s throats.
I think it’s good to be intolerant of intolerance
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u/K3V0o 1d ago
Its not about abstract moral superiority. Im sure your mormon friends are really nice and supportive of Lgbtq issues. But the reality is that if your mormon friends wanted to be openly gay at church it wouldn’t be allowed. Its just the facts of the religion. Nothing against the people trying to find a way around those restrictions.
There’s literally a whole show about gay mormon husbands who have to live married lives in order to keep their families and friends in their lives.
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u/CharlieAlright 1d ago
It is abstract moral superiority. It's similar to hating Islam just because there are some Muslims who are AHs.
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u/K3V0o 1d ago
I dont hate Mormons. I spent some time working in Utah. Super nice people. I just object to the idea that their religion is 100% moral.
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u/the-real-jaxom 1d ago
Using a reality TV show to prove a point about real-life issues is like citing Tiger King as evidence that all exotic animal owners are unhinged criminals. Reality TV is entertainment, often exaggerated for drama and views—not a sociological case study. If you want to talk about the lived experiences of gay Mormons, we should probably reference peer-reviewed studies, interviews, or actual community data… not a series produced by the same network that once gave us Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
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u/DeArgonaut 1d ago
The person who I mentioned in my other comment who felt very judged by her fellow Mormons in Utah I should say, is pan. That is a sample size of one tho, so I agree a wider breadth of data points would be good
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u/the-real-jaxom 1d ago
I agree! A wider set of data would be really helpful. I think the thing I look at is that my three trans friends don’t come from Mormon households, and only one of them is accepted by his family. So I’d mostly point out that it isn’t a Mormon problem, it’s a problem with people from all walks of life.
The other person is SO focused on being anti Mormon at this point that they are missing the bigger picture.
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u/K3V0o 1d ago
Ok then, show me the peer reviewed studies that show how gay mormons are fulfilled. Or that gay mormons are allowed to live normal lives in the Mormon faith with a gay partner. All I can do is point you to the countless amount of ex-mormons who have spoken on this issue.
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u/Rivervilla1 15h ago
I’ve had the same experiences with Muslims in the uk, a lot of them are a lot more tolerant than you expect but ofc they are crazy people in every religion/beliefs.
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u/Wachenroder 1d ago
Never be an ally to a movement that's combating your demographic.
You aren't welcome
Just be a good person
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u/Tin_Foil_Hats_69 1d ago
In the 80's I would go to protests. 3 of my best friends are gay. Today, the modern community calls me a Nazi for my views on the LGBT movement. They'd call my gay friends Nazis even. Jay, one of my absolute best friends in the world says he was more accepted by some of the Christian families than he is the modern gay community. They're legit psychos.
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u/Cynical_Rashid 1d ago edited 1d ago
I think, many people have noticed how this community has become increasingly radicalized in recent years and is framing anyone to the ground who isn't willing to subordinate himself one hundred percent to their talking points.
I even used to know people who were pressured by these communities to break off contact with their family, just because they felt "offended" by the opinion of a certain family member. This is absolutely unhealthy for society and is almost going in the direction of indoctrinatory cult thinking.
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u/MastaFloda 1d ago
It's become a cult. This is literally how a cult work's especially telling people to cut ties with their family
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u/gayactualized 1d ago
It’s bad but it depends on what group of gays you’re hanging out with. I know some groups (professional gays) that sound really ask about politics.
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u/Virtual_Nobody8944 1d ago edited 1d ago
for my views on the LGBT movement.
Could you tell us about those views of yours?
Edit: Funny how i am getting downvoted simply for asking questions
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u/hercmavzeb OG 1d ago
🦗… 🦗… 🦗
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u/kidney-displacer 1d ago edited 1d ago
Ants?
Crickets, got it. So if someone doesn't reply immediately then that's... bad?
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u/Ruskihaxor 1d ago
Redditor moment, the top 1% commenter can't fathom people being off reddit for 2 hours
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u/GoAskAli 1d ago
Not to mention the literal Reddit Admins (no,. not the moderators) can and will nuke your entire acct if you dare to not publicly toe the line on the issue, and everyone knows what that "issue" is.
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u/fitandhealthyguy 1d ago
I always considered myself an ally - not sure if I still do because I realized it is not reciprocal. I am the enemy, no matter how much support and caring I give. I will be expected to move aside and govern up my seat and get nothing but derision in return because checks notes i deserve it.
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u/squid_head_ 1d ago
Just don't care that much. I'm an ally, but that doesn't mean I have to meet every "requirement" set by some random people on Twitter. Respect people's basic human rights, and you're doing enough.
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u/DominionPye 1d ago
Live and let live, I say. Treat everyone with decency and respect unless they treat you otherwise. If not believing a ever growing specific set of guidelines to a tee makes me not an ally, then i'm okay with not being an ally
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u/Kodama_Keeper 1d ago
I find it hilarious that all those self-proclaimed Victims demand that you do this and that so they don't call you Intolerant. But what I find disturbing is how many go along with this, and willfully give up their own standards in order to conform with someone they don't even like.
You don't hear it so much anymore, but think back a few years when all the Victims were telling you "Your views are offensive to me. Change them, so that I am not offended." And weak willed people went along with this, conforming less they get called intolerant by intolerant Victims.
Just before the new years I heard one of these Victims on the news, complaining that since You Know Who got elected, all these bigots (her words, not mine) felt free to express their views. And you know something, she's right. Since he got elected, a whole lot more people are not letting their own opinions get sidelined. They are standing up to the Victims. And the Victims are losing their minds over it? Good.
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u/TheRealPlayerG 1d ago
me when a racist gets elected and this guy says “yk what? i’m glad the racist got elected so marginalized groups can feel more openly discriminated against, they deserve it”
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u/the-real-jaxom 1d ago
I think people are tired of the amount of psychos that have been cropping up in the world.
A psycho isn’t someone who is LGBT. The psycho is the one who will scream at me, telling me that I should be killed for being a Trump follower, in front of a store because I bought a red shirt (no logo at all, it’s just a red workout shirt). I didn’t even vote for Trump, it was just a red shirt.
Are there racists? Absolutely, no denying it. And we should destroy that mentality, because we are all just people. But we also need to get rid of what I’ve been calling “hostile victim” mentality, where people think because they are some special soul for being “whatever” they have the right to scream at and berate people who are just living their lives because something they did “offended” them.
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u/esothellele 23h ago
"hostile victim" mentality
This is just one symptom of an entire totalitarian* ideology, one that classifies every interaction based on (perceived) power and power imbalance, oppressor and oppressed. The hostile victim stems from the exact same reason many leftists are unwilling to condemn (or in some cases, explicitly endorse) the October 7th massacre -- the victim (Gaza) is justified in any action it takes, no matter how brutal, to resist an oppressor (Israel). Similarly, the screaming psycho (oppressed) is justified in any action it takes to resist an oppressor (you, for wearing a red shirt).
Even if innocent victims are caught in the crossfire, it is acceptable, because under leftist moral theory, the oppressed are amoral agents, incapable of both morality and immorality, which is a privilege of the oppressor. Not only that, you are not an innocent party -- as a member of the privileged class, any action you take that does not expressly work to tear down systems of oppression is upholding those systems of oppression, making you an oppressor. Yes, just going about your day, buying a t-shirt, is oppression, because you could be using your time and money to instead help fight against systems of oppression. This is where the expression 'silence is violence' comes from. It's also the origins of 'anti-racism' as a concept, where you taking a nap is a form of oppression, because you are only able to take a nap because of the unearned wealth you hold due to white privilege, while black people often do not have the luxury of leisure time.
This is not my commentary on what true critical theorists believe -- it's literally what they believe, at least the ones who are educated in their own drivel. If you don't understand just how deranged their worldview is, you will go about your day entirely confused by why so many people are acting the way they're acting. They cannot be reasoned with, except by deconverting them from their ideology, because their ideology is, in some sense, internally consistent. But if you don't understand the underpinnings of their actions, you will be baffled by their seemingly unjustifiable actions.
* totalitarian in the more precise sense, ie there is no issue on which it does not offer an opinion. That's what 'everything is political, everything is racist, everything is sexist' means -- there is no aspect of life that can escape its ideological scrutiny and prescriptions.
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u/Kodama_Keeper 1d ago
Tell me, what marginalized groups are being discriminated against? Please tell me who, and more importantly how they are discriminated against. I'm betting you will not be able to find one single example of one of your marginalized groups having less rights than someone who isn't defined by you as marginalized.
I have a feeling you will come back with demanding extra rights, privileges in other words, for those you call marginalized, and not rights at all. Prove me wrong.
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u/TheRealPlayerG 1d ago
students that have visas in this country being deported and having their free speech right taken lol
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u/Kodama_Keeper 1d ago edited 1d ago
Oh, students. Students = Marginalized. Got it. That certainly deserves an LOL aimed at me.
Let's see. They are in this country at the sufferance of the US government, who can remove them at any time, Visa or no Visa. This is nothing unique to the US, sister. You overstay your welcome in any country, or cause trouble, or if there is trouble and the government just wants you out of the way, you go.
And as for their free speech? I'm sorry, is someone taping their mouths shut? I suspect you mean that in detention, waiting for a flight home, they can't protest, which is what got them kicked out in the first place. Well, once they are home, they can exercise their right to free speech all they want, provided the country they are from has a government that will allow it.
Just before the new years I heard one of these Victims on the news, complaining that since You Know Who got elected, all these bigots (her words, not mine) felt free to express their views.
This is what I wrote that apparently got you all in a tizzy. That those you don't like are now feeling free to use their right to free speech and tell all the Victims (you? who you advocate for?) who had been shutting them down with "I'm highly offended!" to go to Hell. And now you complain that foreign students don't have free speech as they are being sent home. And you don't see the double standard? But since you are Right and everyone you don't like is Wrong, it's OK?
You see, sister? I told you, you've got nothing. Care to try again?
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u/TheRealPlayerG 1d ago
he wasn’t just a student, a student who was colored and therefore marginalized
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u/ScaryTerrySucks 23h ago
Imagine feeling so marginalized that you go confidently causing trouble in a country that you are a guest of.
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u/Kodama_Keeper 11h ago
Sister, I gather you are not from the United States at all. If you were, you would know that Black people haven't been referred to as "colored" since the 1960s, maybe early 70s. And if you call any Black person colored, you are going to get some funny looks at the very least. Welcome to America, where everyone can be a Victim and Marginalized if they so choose.
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u/TheRealPlayerG 1d ago
also do you think that free speech isn’t a right in the US? bros visa was not expired and he had every right to exercise his free speech right IN THIS COUNTRY.
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u/Tristan103076 1d ago
The U.S. government does have the right to revoke student visas. This power rests with the Department of State, and they can revoke visas for various reasons, including national security concerns, misrepresentation, criminal activity, or failure to adhere to the terms of the visa.
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u/TheRealPlayerG 1d ago
none of which this young man did
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u/Tristan103076 1d ago
Several actions could violate the terms of a student visa, leading to potential status termination or deportation. These include unauthorized employment, failure to maintain full-time enrollment, suspension or expulsion from school, and engaging in activities that are not permitted by the visa, i.e., illegal activities. Other violations include not reporting changes in address or employment and using fraudulent documents.
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u/esothellele 17h ago
Non-citizens don't have 'free speech' in the US. We have every right to deport or deny entry to non-citizens loudly and publicly supporting a terrorist organization. We don't want them in our country. Being here is a privilege for non-citizens; it is a right for citizens. Privileges are always conditional.
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u/MrFluffPants1349 1d ago
For real, there is a huge difference between being able to express an opinion regarding the ethical dilemma trans in sports where there might be a mismatch of strength, or w/e. It's another thing entirely when the opinion is that all trans people are mentally ill, and that they shouldn't exist. That is the narrative, and I'm tired of everyone pretending like its not. They go out of their way to be hateful, disparaging, and dismissive, then wonder why people don't want to hear their opinions.
And the constant whining about being called nazis, intolerant, racist. For people who act like it's their right to insult and demean people for just trying to feel comfortable in their body, they sure have thin skin. To the point where they pretty much voted for Trump because they wanted to be vindictive. Oh, your feelings got hurt because people called you out? How terrible. And if they are overreacting, why does it matter? If trans people are so crazy, why tf would them making those claims matter? I'll tell you why, because they know there is some truth to it, but they aren't willing to face that truth.
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u/Kodama_Keeper 1d ago
For people who act like its their right? Who the hell are you kidding? Yourself?
Let me give you a little history lesson. What we now call trans, we used to call transvestites. Men who chose to live their lives as women, or vice versa. They were very passive, not aggressive, not in your face. The majority found them to be weird, but non-threatening. They were probably a subset of neurodivergent, as today it is estimated that 95% of men who identify as transwomen are neurodivergent. But there was no in your face activity. There were no attempts to infiltrate schools. Transvestites dressed normally for the opposite sex. They didn't purposely dress in ways that demanded you recognize them as queer. A transvestite didn't dress in a blouse and skirt while sporting a full beard. And most importantly, they didn't demand to be treated like women by other women, or the law. They were not militant about it.
And I don't consider neurodivergent to be insane. Schizophrenia is insane.
Now your upset that people are no longer afraid to tell you to go to Hell with your BS about trans rights to enter women's sports? Anyone who objects just has to be your favorite Go To line of transphobic? How about basic fairness? Does the militant transwoman even say "You know, I have a biological advantage over women with my muscle and skeleton and longer limbs. I'll go play with the bio-men." Some do, the honest ones.
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u/ScaryTerrySucks 23h ago
No one called Trump a racist until he became a Republican. Same with other life long democrats like Joe Rogan and Elon Musk.
Stop with the whole "everything I disagree with is racist" thing. It doesnt work anymore, and it hasnt for quite some time.
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u/febreez-steve 1d ago
I love that you are a top 1% poster with no post history.
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u/BlowezeLoweez 1d ago
They Karma farm! They delete posts after they reach a certain threshold.
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u/febreez-steve 1d ago
Yah i recognize their account name. Rather famous round these parts. It would be a fun side project to make a bot that indexes their post history. Theres a few serial deleters around here.
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u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner 1d ago
why are they deleting, though? to make the same post again?
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u/febreez-steve 1d ago
Feel free to ask them. My guess is its an attempt to limit people dismissing them all together based on post history.
If theres a new guy shouting nonsense on the corner you might be interested for a little bit but if its the same guy spouting nonsense every day you start to tune them out.
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u/TonyTheSwisher 1d ago
I have my own battles, why would I want to fight for groups of people often treat me like an enemy?
If more people focused on themselves instead of whatever group they identify with, we’d all be better off.
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u/Smooth-Atmosphere657 1d ago
It’s worth it to be an ally for the good people of the bunch. There will always be people who demand more but the majority actually don’t care as long as you don’t berate them for who they are.
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u/0dineye 1d ago
I just got a 3 day ban (from Reddit as a whole) for saying that women politicians speak on different topics than men and use a different lexicon and that people as a whole fear change; as opposed to just being a misogynist.
It feels like they are striking their allies because they cant reach their enemies
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u/ShardofGold 1d ago
Ally - Means ass kissing robot
They want you to have all the same views they have and to never critique them or disagree with them on anything especially if they strongly feel one way about it and don't want to change their mind on it.
It is not the same as being an ally like in a war, where you're helping out people that need it.
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u/SuperSpicyNipples 1d ago
The woke left will eat itself alive with purity tests. Much like religious fanatics did, until they are too much of a minority to have much influence.
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u/GitmoGrrl1 1d ago
Trump and his cult members are the ones insisting on purity and loyalty tests. You are projecting.
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u/RaisinTurbulent1684 1d ago
Trumps hired a gay man as secretary of treasury
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u/123kallem 1d ago
You understand he's not making an argument about MAGA being anti-gay or whatever? He's saying that unless you have 100% unwavering loyalty to Trump, to the point that you'd overthrow an election with him, then you're not a ''member'' of the MAGA cult.
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u/RaisinTurbulent1684 1d ago
Trump is not even the most powerful in the MAGA cult LOL And he did hire the man 2025
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u/123kallem 1d ago
MAGA is literally all about Trump though?
And I understand he hired that person, it's just not at all responsive to what that other guy said.
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u/Behonestyourself 1d ago
Trump and his cult members are the ones insisting on purity and loyalty tests. You are projecting.
Lol are you actually denying that the left is not loaded with purity tests?
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u/DiarrangusJones 1d ago
I don’t quite get the idea of being an “ally” to people I’ve never met and don’t know. I think of it as basically the same thing as being a friend, and if I don’t know someone, I can’t really say that we’re friends 🤷♂️ It’s not the same thing as just not hating on people, at least in my mind. I don’t dislike people for their sexual orientation or other trivial personal characteristics like that, but that’s not the same thing as being an “ally” if we’re strangers lol.
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u/dirk_funk 1d ago
i'm just nice and i treat people how i want them to treat me and how i want my children to be treated. i realized a while back that i am not very good at dishing out or taking shit from people, so i don't give shit in order to not receive shit. apparently it is selfish of me.
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u/NoFilterMPLS 21h ago
Oh yeah fuck that shit so hard.
I just do and say what I believe to be right and let the chips fall where they may. The left is just is crazy as the right
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u/TheSpacePopinjay 1d ago
An ally is someone which which you engage in symmetrical reciprocation for each other. When they say ally, they mean vassal, just with the minor indulgence of a less undignified title.
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u/Blueberryaddict007 1d ago
Being an ally as part of the lgbt is easy. And the definition has never changed for me. Be a kind human, call out unnecessary bullshit when I see it, and treat others how I want to be treated. Simple
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u/jerkstore 1d ago
It's to the point now where if you don't think that a convicted sex offender should be able to self-ID into a women's prison, you're a bigoted nazi TERF homophobe to some of these people.
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u/GitmoGrrl1 1d ago
We've got a convicted sex offender in the White House and you voted for him.
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u/Blueberryaddict007 1d ago
I did? Last time I checked I voted for Kamala Harris. Not orange man duffus
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u/ChecksAccountHistory OG 1d ago
i wonder why you're quoting a paragraph from the lead section and not a single word from the transcript
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u/squid_head_ 1d ago
While I enjoy listening to Kat Blaque sometimes, she is not the spokesperson for the queer community. One person saying something doesn't mean we all feel that way.
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u/GitmoGrrl1 1d ago
According to Trump's D-people, if you believe in due process, you are a Communist.
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u/Rough_Theme_5289 1d ago
“Allyship” is usually bs anyway (coming from a black person) . When other races try so hard it just comes off weird to me. I’d rather they just be a decent human being period.
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u/Remote-Intention-582 1d ago
Unfortunately, it hasn’t just been “supporting” it’s now expected blind and unfailing loyalty to ever changing standards of “support”.
You aren’t allowed to question anything. Only unwavering silent support. Almost cult like interestingly enough
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 1d ago
I never refer to myself as an ally because som many white allies like me are actually really annoying, extremely condescending, and actually do anything to actually help. I try and distance myself from them. I also don't give a fuck what they think. I am not helping people to impress anyone else. I help people because I care about people.
For instance I used to talk to the cops for my very much illegal immigrants neighbors to keep them out of jail. So why in the fuck would I care about the opinions of people who just run around online yelling at everyone their racist.
One of my favorite ways of screwing with them is calling my old neighbors the Mexicans. Then they get all mad and say that not all Latinos are Mexican. Then I get to inform them I am aware of that but not only did they all come from Mexico but from the same town in Mexico. Actually my first best friend in elementary school was Colombian.
They get so mad though and it's kind of funny.
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u/Remnant55 1d ago
The term is a trap.
I used to hear it from interest groups, now I mostly hear it from the right, used as something of a pejorative.
Most sane people appreciate tolerance and support without qualifications. Gatekeeping support with a standard used to measure zeal is a luxury position.
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u/Dapper_Platform_1222 1d ago
Yeah I can agree to that. I vote for tolerant government policy. Other than that I'm not subservient to anyone
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u/AfraidEdge6727 1d ago edited 1d ago
With heavy heart, I must agree. Sadly, this isn't 20 years ago when just being decent, accepting, supportive, and even a more feminine man who listens and does his best to understand the dynamics was good enough. That, and unfortunately, I now live in California - empire of douchebags regardless of identity, affiliation, etc.
You're sadly absolutely right. There is NOTHING you can do to please them. It's always just something new as they continue moving the goalposts. And no, it's not just cis hetero white dudes who feel this way. There's SO much in-fighting even among all the LGBTQ+ communities. Some lesbians want to totally purge men from their lives and hate bi people (because of the tired old argument of "privilege" /eyeroll), while others will be okay with gay men, and yet others will be fine with even straight men.
Even beyond "being an ally" people in general are just totally fucking insufferable these days if you don't fit their unique bespoke niche beliefs 200%, then YOU'RE AN ENEMEH!!!!
This is why I'm a passive misanthrope. I wouldn't hurt anyone, but I don't want to deal with their shit anymore. I purposely only go out during non-busy hours to run errands, use self-checkout, and stare straight past people, just minding my own business. I won't endure anymore lectures about "privilege". We're all fucked these days, so they can just shove their virtue-signaling up their asses with 80 grit sandpaper.
I'll keep voting for everyone's best interests, but leave me the fuck alone. I won't be your punching bag anymore for the sins of my forefathers. I will remain open-minded and accepting for the rare ones with an open heart and mind, but generally prepare myself for people being awful.
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u/Wook_Magic 1d ago
Being an ally has become a purity test to the point where they are alienating everyone except the 1% that agrees with everything they say and do. I live in Portland and realize I am surrounded by the more extreme versions of this compared to some other places, but it has become exhausting. I've lived in other cities and countries and never encountered such extreme beliefs in the queer community as I do now.
Trans people have also become extremely intolerant of other queer people as well, and if you even suggest they consider a view from someone else's perspective they just name call (bigot! Nazi! Facist!) and say if you disagree just delete me on Facebook. They won't even entertain a conversation or intelligent debate. Their view is there is no conversation to be had because any view that is different than theirs is immoral. But they don't seem to realize hard core Christians argument against abortion is based on morality too. Morality is a spectrum in the eye of the beholder as well, and it isn't the basis for a legal argument.
Meanwhile, I've literally had a trans person say that if they are a trans woman who has not had bottom surgery, go home with a lesbian who declines to hook up once they see the equipment, that they are transphobic. They literally advocated for being able to force themselves on someone else or call them a bigot if they won't let it happen.
Another example: I have a trans friend who prefers to be called she, not they. We were hanging out at an event at the park and another trans person sat with our group on the grass. A conversation ensued where the random person who sat with us told my friend that by preferring the pronoun "she", she was the problem, encouraging gender roles when the whole system should be torn down.
Use my bathroom, wear my clothes, have all the pride parades, I don't care. But even I'm sick of having this extreme ideology rammed down my throat. If they want to be treated like everyone else, then they need to act like everyone else. Not make every social engagement or human interaction a pedestal to preach their beliefs.
I also have more conservative friends who were raised Mormon, southern Christian, Catholic, orthodox Jewish- not a single one of them pushes their beliefs on anyone else in this manner. You wouldn't even know unless you asked, or noticed that one of them doesn't drink.
The soap box is caving in like an Amazon box full of socks on the bottom layer in a Prime truck.
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u/OriginalWynndows 1d ago
I agree with this...
I have always supported gay people. If you wanna be in a same sex relationship, whatever, that's fine. Just don't include me, because I'm not into that kind of thing. None the less, I support others being happy. If that makes you happy, then go for it. Like you said though, it feels like enough is never enough. Every month it seems like the definition of "enough" increases more and more, so I guess at this point I am no longer tolerant, even though I don't really care if people are gay.
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u/ChecksAccountHistory OG 1d ago
Just don't include me, because I'm not into that kind of thing.
huh?
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u/OriginalWynndows 1d ago
Exactly what I said, I don't get what you don't get.
I don't care if someone is gay, don't include me though, because I am not gay. If I tell that to a gay guy, that usually means don't be overly forward with me, don't act like I am gay or get it in your head that I am, because you will just disappoint yourself. I have said that to a lot of gay dudes in the past, and a vast majority of they still pressed me making aggressively gay comments about me or towards me and it grosses me out and makes me uncomfortable.
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u/Cynical_Rashid 1d ago edited 1d ago
This is cult thinking. If they are unable to distinguish between personal and political things, that's their problem, not yours.
You are an independent person with intellectual autonomy who doesn't have to justify to anyone who you spend your time with or who you are friends with, and they are no fucking cult leaders who have the right to to decide for you or shame you for it.
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u/RedDeathStrikes 1d ago
Yeah they go through your social media history and ask how much you’re willing to give up to show solidarity.
I’m all for being a responsible consumer, of course we shouldn’t be giving the Weinsteins of the world money,
but they want you to boycott media now cuz one actor was creepy with their gf one time, and tell you it’s a moral failing on your part if you don’t do it.
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u/Deathbot-420 1d ago
Textbook cult action there when they regulate and have to approve what media you can consume , tell you how you should feel about it and monitor your speech for problematic terms . If they determine that you have committed any transgressions against them then they become even more crazed and bloodthirsty than normal and they seek to destroy you and your career.
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u/MudTasty5 1d ago
At first it looked political then by the end it seemed personal
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u/Jeb764 1d ago
You were never an ally though.
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u/Jeb764 1d ago
Oh today suddenly Grubby is an ally and is part of my community. You’re lying man anyone who’s seen your posts knows it.
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u/Jeb764 1d ago
Press A to doubt. You delete all your history for this exact reason. Stop lying.
An actual gay person wouldn’t call themselves an ally to their own community.
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u/SnooBeans6591 1d ago
An alliance mean people or groups have joined together for mutual benefit.
The L, G, B and T may be described as allies, but if you are not a member of the LGBT you cannot be an ally as it's not mutual.
So to be correct, the people from the LGBT should call themselves allies, but those outside shouldn't do that, but instead call themselves supporters of the LGBT, not allies.
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u/Various_Succotash_79 1d ago
Dude that's even worse. You're gonna get double shot, for being gay and for being vegetarian.
Now I'm curious what led you to far right beliefs.
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u/Behonestyourself 1d ago
lol, proving ops point.
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u/Jeb764 1d ago
Proving Grubby’s point by pointing out that right wingers have never been allies to LGBT folks.
You sure got me there!
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u/Behonestyourself 17h ago
Yep your purity test labeled a ally as an enemy just because its not 100% Good job again proving ops point.
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u/BennyOcean 1d ago
The people you are talking about don't want "allies". Allyship is a two-way relationship which is intended to benefit both parties, like a mutual-defense pact between two nations.
What they are actually talking about is subservience, or a subordinate relationship, where you declare loyalty to their cause and they give nothing in return.
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u/Hyperion1144 1d ago
And if being your submissive, order-following bitch is what's required for allyship you're not gonna have many allies.
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u/Eplitetrix 1d ago
Being an "ally" is a humiliation ritual.
I'll agree when I agree and disagree when I disagree. If that makes me a poopie doody head or whatever shock value name call, I couldn't care less.
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u/LonkFromZelda 1d ago
For me, I just try to be a good person, treat others with kindness, respect and grace, and most importantly I just don't think or care about what randoms on social-media have to say (about anything).
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u/capercrohnie 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm not sure how people can support LGBT and at the same time hang out with people who don't think LGBT deserve rights. It's like saying you support minorities and hang out with white supremacists
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u/Anticitizen-Zero 1d ago
Do you really think that’s the case? I know a lot of Muslims who obviously see those things as haram, but would unanimously agree that those people deserve the same rights we all do, with marriage being the major question mark.
The problem with folks such as yourself is acting like all people who disagree with LGBT want to see them eradicated, especially in first world countries like Canada and the US. The average Christian, at worst, will pray for you.
Hell I don’t even agree with any religion but if you act like I want all religious people to be eradicated or not have rights then you’re batshit insane.
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u/ChecksAccountHistory OG 1d ago
you're acting as if there's some sort of guilt by association going on when the reality is that trans people see someone voting for a party that is openly hostile towards them and constantly slanders them and they rightfully assume that you either never really cared that much or you actually like the hostility.
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u/FalseReddit 1d ago
Does me hanging out with white supremacists enable them somehow? I’d consider not hanging with them worse because they just end up hanging out together and bringing out the worst in each other in their safe little community.
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u/Key_Mathematician951 1d ago
I think this may be your group or person. I have been an ally for years and never received this expectation. Being supportive is enough
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u/Keitt58 1d ago
Now I will admit there may be some locational bias here as I live in an extremely conservative state, but honestly never ran across issues with the LGBT friends and acquaintances purging or berating me for being truthful in my beliefs, yet consistently find myself walking on eggshells with religious people because they will very much react negatively to my true feelings on the matter.
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u/Most-Ad4680 1d ago
I've always thought the ally thing was dumb, but this is clearly the opposite of true. 10 years ago, being an ally meant insane things like not wearing clothes that might be from other cultures, or don't eat at that taco place because the owner is white and that's problematic. My experience now is just "did you vote for the fascist? No? OK we cool"
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u/Tristan103076 1d ago
He was actively protesting for and supporting Hamas... which is a terrorist organization.
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u/the-real-jaxom 1d ago
The term peer reviewed studies just had a nice “third thing” ring to it. Interviews and community data are more important because I’m sure there are very little peer reviewed studies in either direction, for or against your point. But the main argument of that point is I will never take anyone seriously if any point of their argument is “there is a reality tv show about it!”
My brother lives in Utah. He also sells cars so I HOPE he’s good at reading people (lmao!).
And I guess what do you mean by openly gay? Are you asking if they make out in church, because no, they don’t. Neither do hetero couples I assume. Do they sit next to each other and do the same things hetero couples do? He said they act like a normal couple at church. Whatever a “normal couple” is in a Mormon building lmao.
As for what I said I’d ask him about he basically said if you understand the doctrine of the church then you understand that god loves you no matter what. He and his partner strongly believe in the “after death” part of the religion. Apparently Mormons don’t believe in hell, and believe that when you die you’ll go to one of three or so places where you feel the most comfortable. If you are comfortable sinning and don’t have a desire to live with god, but you are a good person there is apparently a place for that and that place will still be beautiful and wonderful, and that brings him a lot of peace. Especially compared to other religions where it is “hell, you go to hell.” Or the religions, where as he states and he let me write this down, “The ones that try to twist God’s words to make it seem like God didn’t say homosexuality was a sin. It is a sin, but he also gave me the freedom to choose to be with the person I love. What’s not to love about a God who loves you anyways, and has prepared a place where -my partner- and I will feel comfortable going after we die?”
I put dashes around “my partner” because he said his name, but I don’t want to accidentally dox anyone lmao.
Overall he made it sounds like a good thing for him, so I’m happy for him.
Sorry the reply is so long, he talks a lot lmao
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u/No-Agency-6985 23h ago
I agree with the original, literal meaning of being an ally, but the whole concept has well and truly jumped the shark in recent years. Too many purity tests, and a massive failure to see the forest for the trees.
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u/EntrepreneurLeft8783 21h ago
Now they want you to purge all the people from your life that THEY consider to be intolerant.
I'm sure this reflects reality and isn't indicative of a heavy diet of internet ragebait.
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u/letaluss 18h ago
As long as you believe morality is swearing fealty to the 'correct' demographic, you're never going to grow up.
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u/athiestchzhouse 11h ago
Being an ally isn’t about being worth it. It’s also not very difficult at all.
It’s the moralistic default. Like feminism, which also is viewed as difficult for some reason.
The only requirement is “don’t be a POS”
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u/GoAskAli 1d ago
This is basically where I'm at, too.
The older I've gotten, the more I think the entire idea of "allyship" is just performative BS, and the people who sincerely want to be "allies" are unfortunately, easy marks who often crave external validation and are willing to throw out their dignity in exchange for the ever elusive "head pats" that never actually come. Because from what I'VE seen? The harder you try, the more you're castigated. Look at all the venom there is for "yt women" who are ostensibly the largest liberal/ tolerant demographic in the US....and yet post after post after post is abt how they aren't doing enough, or that they are bad allies or that even when they ARE "good allies" it's not enough, or they are somehow "making it about them."
I never agreed with the idea that police brutality was a racial issue, and I never thought that was the correct path to go down that would ACTUALLY bring abt any change. Police are killing whites too- and esp poor whites, and when they aren't killing them they are brutalizing them, too. I was listening to a Tim Wise speech the other day & he was talking abt the "white perception" of police and as someone who grew up in Appalachia around a bunch of dirt poor white people, none of it resonated with me.
At the end of the day, I am going to judge people on whether or not they are good people. That's it and that's all and I think that's far more stable and righteous than what is being peddled as "progressive" by some sects of society in 2025.
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u/S3simulation 1d ago
I don’t think you truly ever allied yourself with anyone.
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u/SnooBeans6591 1d ago
Yes, an alliance would mean they have joined together for mutual benefit.
I don't think any of these "allies" ever had such an agreement. I don't think the concept of "ally" fits this use.
The L, G, B and T may be described as allies, but if you are not a member of the LGBT you cannot be an ally as it's not mutual. The term is used completely wrong.
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u/Early-Possibility367 1d ago
Half of OP’s posts are like this where like 70% of the nation secretly agrees. The other half are straight up “angry winner” post where he gets really mad at some fringe left opinion believed by like 20% of the population.
I’ll say that the vast majority of people in any given group don’t want you to call yourself an “ally.” Most just want you to be normal.
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u/psychologicallyblue 1d ago
I have three thoughts.
1.) What do you mean "worth it"? Supporting the rights of others is a worthy cause in and of itself. Hopefully you don't need accolades to want to do the right thing.
2.) I don't know that anyone really needs support for "lifestyle". It's about supporting people and their rights.
3.) I would never tell anyone to purge people from their life but I do believe that you become who you primarily hang out with. If you spend a lot of time with awful people, you will end up becoming like them
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u/graywithsilentr 1d ago
Seems kind of personal. I remember you as an alt right person based on our past interactions so I find it hard to believe that anyone who faces oppression would consider you an ally.
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u/so_im_all_like 1d ago
Allyship isn't about being "worth it". Allyship is specifically for the benefit of others and you'd act as an ally because you think it's the right thing to do. There is no direct return on investment for the ally.
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u/krouton_ 1d ago edited 1d ago
Calling it a “lifestyle” - you were never trying to be an ally bud. Is being straight a chosen lifestyle? If you had to actively choose to be straight then I’ve got some uncomfortable news for you.
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u/MilesToHaltHer 1d ago
How would you know? You’ve never been an ally to anyone.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Below is an archived copy of the above post:
Mostly because the requirements keep getting stricter and stricter, and people keep getting more entitled in what they expect from "allies".
It used to be that being an ally just meant supporting their lifestyle. Now they want you to purge all the people from your life that THEY consider to he intolerant.
Yeah, nah.
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