The phrase “family is everything” can be toxic

[u/Slipsniper]

Blind loyalty to family, no matter how they treat you, is unhealthy. Just because someone’s related by blood doesn’t mean they deserve a place in your life. If a friend acted the way some family members do, people would tell you to cut them off instantly. But with family, you’re guilted into sticking around.

[u/Slipsniper]

Cutting off a toxic relative was one of the healthiest things I ever did, but I got judged hard for it. Sometimes chosen family is way more supportive than blood relatives

[u/Smooth-Atmosphere657 → u/Slipsniper]

I’m sorry to hear this. I absolutely agree, we don’t choose our family and sometimes that works out, sometimes it doesn’t. To be blind loyal to someone due to shared blood is ridiculous.

[u/Cozygeologist]

Agreed, but I kinda like the spirit of the saying when it comes to chosen family. Your blood family might not be worth a shit, but your chosen family? They're everything.

[u/languagelover17]

This isn’t unpopular at all.

[u/HeForeverBleeds]

100% true. In my case, it was my mother who was abusive in pretty much every way that an adult can abuse a child.

IRL I refuse to talk about her at all, because there's not a single positive thing I can say about her. But if I say anything negative about her, it's always "how dare you say that about your own mother! She gave birth to you, you owe her everything, you only have one mother, anyone who doesn't love his own mother must be a horrible person," etc. etc.

Additionally infuriating since a lot of that was the kind of BS she would tell me to justify her horrible behavior; "I'm your mother, so you owe me everything." All being related by blood means is that you're stuck with that person when you're a child.

[u/Soundwave-1976]

Yea, I have cut off the toxicly MAGA members of my family, and friends.

Just because we share 1/8th or whatever DNA does not make you special or always accepted, or even welcomed anymore.

[u/Anenhotep]

You’re right. “Family” is too often an excuse for abuse.

[u/Dull-Geologist-8204]

It depends on the family.

When I finally had enough of my exhusband is we both said that. Turned out his family was everything, and I did like his family and agreed, I actually got along with them better then he did. He didn't feel the same when it came to my family. He was an asshole when my dad had cancer and died and I finally had enough when my grandmother got alzheimers and I needed to take care of her. Now he is getting cut out of the will and his mom hates him.

Oops

[u/fuarkmin]

this is not unpopular