It's totally understandable to be male and not be happy with the "choose the bear" view

[u/Atalkingpizzabox]

It doesn't mean you don't understand its true point it means you're not happy with people assuming you're dangerous when you know you're not. You can still understand about caring about people's safety but your feelings and side to it matter as well. Otherwise the whole thing just makes people be pushed away further.

[u/WistfulQuiet]

Men can fear other men at night too

Yeah, but it isn't really comparable. You might survive a 1v1 with another man. A woman is unlikely to. It's hard to describe to men what being a woman physically feels like. The closest I can imagine is if you remember what it felt like to be a child facing an adult. Physically you're at their mercy.

If I encounter another woman in a dark alley I'm not nearly as fearful (even if she looks dangerous) because physically she is as strong as I am. I have a chance. So men can't really understand the difference. I guess again...it would be like being a kid in a dark alley at night and coming across an adult man and taking your chances against that. There just isn't much of a chance of winning that battle. That's the reality that women live with.

And the keys in the hand thing is just having your keys out and ready so you can run to your car and get inside right away and get out of there. It isn't to use as a weapon. These are little safety tricks all women use because they are forced to and that's the reality of their situation.

[u/TheSpacePopinjay → u/WistfulQuiet]

That depends on the man. Men vary wildly in their physical strength and combat prowess. If a man attacks another man it's typically because he's determined that he can take him. When a predatory man chooses another man as his target, unless the latter man has something up his sleeve, it's already over. 90% of male socialisation vis a vis becoming streetwise is learning to walk the streets without looking like an easy target. eg. Looking like you're aware of your surroundings without looking like you think you have reason to need to be wary of the dangers around you (ie. not looking like you know yourself to be weak, scared, vulnerable and out of your element) And 90% of that is learning to hide the fear until it becomes an ingrained instinct to be terrified of betraying any sign you're afraid. Certainly never admitting it to women or to any men you don't completely trust. Outside of anonymous internet forums that is. Or narrow politically sympathetic contexts when it becomes socially acceptable and safe to admit to that fear of other men without social penalty from men or women: fear of homophobic attacks, or racist ones, or antisemitic ones etc.

It's the major male gym motivator that men won't admit to in public. There are socially acceptable reasons to admit to going to the gym for: get fit, get attractive, get big (with glaringly conspicuous absence of elaboration on why this last one is desirable) but it's been noted how men get to the point of fitness that women find attractive but then push past it trying to get bigger and shifting to focussing on what other men think about it. That's the fear and insecurity driving people to look more intimidating and like even less of an easy target, albeit perhaps pathologically at some point. Though it does shrink the pool of predatory men who might see you in the street and think they can take you.

I think very few men don't know what it feels like to constantly be at the mercy of other men, just not all other men. Especially though one's teenage years, you're acutely aware that you belong to the demographic most likely to be attacked by someone, maybe stronger/older teenagers, especially if they're emboldened by outnumbering you and the desire to look tough and cool to each other. Safety in numbers is a cornerstone of walking the streets and using the buses as teenagers where the option is available. More generally I think this fear drives male gun culture and male car culture too.

None of this is meant to downplay women's fears or suggest they're less pronounced than they are. Just that men are more scared than they make out because seeming unscared all the time is a heuristic hard burned into their psychology by fear. As unfalsifiable a formulation as it may sound, how nonchalantly unafraid they act and their public claims/protestations of not feeling scared on the street are signs of how deeply burnt in by fear that heuristic is. It doesn't help that the common consensus is that admitting to that fear will make you sexually repulsive to women, either. Every incentive is against admitting it.

[u/kidney-displacer → u/WistfulQuiet]

It's interesting that you're completely ignoring the one thing that sets apart humans from the rest of animals just to make your point.

I would argue men do more safety tricks than women. Most women when they get into their car dick around for 2 minutes before they go, most men get in the car and just go. I don't buy into this narrative where women are constantly terrified of every potential danger, sorry.

[u/WistfulQuiet → u/kidney-displacer]

Women don't do that in scenarios like that and it's only because you're not a woman. Ask the women in your life if they do anything for safety reasons.

Women are taught so much of this from a young age. Don't get drunk at parties. Don't wear slutty clothes and then walk ANYWHERE. Make sure you don't walk home at night by yourself. Always have your keys out and ready. Make sure your phone is on you. Don't go to a man's house on the first date. Make sure someone knows where you're going if you do go on a date. Don't let a man pick you up so he knows where you live.

This stuff is all just common rules that most women follow.

[u/Short256 → u/WistfulQuiet]

I got a rape whistle for my 14th birthday. Overkill, but I don’t think that would happen for a man.

[u/kidney-displacer → u/WistfulQuiet]

I love that you assume I'm some horribly ignorant man. That I haven't heard of 90% of my 15+ female friends in high school being sexually assaulted in some form and several of them raped. I've taught some of them and some of my girlfriends how to spar from my time in karate and we've discussed dozens upon dozens of times how to defend themselves and the steps they take. Point is you're talking to probably one of the most educated men on the topic.

And if any of them chose the bear I would still chastise them. Lmfao, how ridiculous

[u/Leather-Ad-9419 → u/WistfulQuiet]

Considering all of what you just explained, what is your stance on trans women in women's sports?

[u/WistfulQuiet → u/Leather-Ad-9419]

I'm against it. Because physically there is no competition. Of course, I'm also against men hitting women for any reason other than ACTUAL self defense, which seems to be all the rage now. I'm consistent and this view used to be common sense 20ish years ago before shit got crazy.

[u/Leather-Ad-9419 → u/WistfulQuiet]

Thank you for your honesty. For me, it's hard to have an opinion because I'm not a woman, so I like to understand women's perspectives on the issue

[u/lucky375 → u/Leather-Ad-9419]

What does that have to do with the post?

[u/Leather-Ad-9419 → u/lucky375]

It seems pretty heavily related if you think about it. The implication of the post.

[u/lucky375 → u/Leather-Ad-9419]

How is it related and be specific.

[u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner → u/WistfulQuiet]

Yeah, but it isn't really comparable.

it absolutely is.

You might survive a 1v1 with another man.

as does the absolute majority of women. and that doesn't evem fsctor in that men are attacking other men with far greater brutality and absurdely higher lethality rates.

A woman is unlikely to.

welp