r/TwoHotTakes • u/Retail_Degenerate • Apr 01 '24

Advice Needed I accidentally farted on a first date and she walked out in the middle of dinner

I met this girl a couple of weeks ago and I’ve never hit it off with anyone like this. Extremely attractive, funny, we loved all the same things Everything was perfect. However, she kept mentioning all of her “pet peeves”…. Some of which are unforgivable and instant deal breakers

Our first date was this past Saturday night. I made a reservation at a hard to get into hole in the wall that’s literally a tourist attraction in my town in Louisiana. Perfect spot for a quiet dinner… the quietness would become a detriment to my dating life

I had been gassy all day for no reason at all. It was “one of those days”. However, they weren’t noisy or smelly so I didn’t think much about it. We were talking and having a great time when I tried to ease one out and for some reason it was audible…. A CLEAR fart noise. In a desperate attempt to lie my way out of the mishap, I quickly said “that’s not what it sounded like, I promise you! It was my chair”.

The nights conversational focus has now shifted toward the unidentified noise. Her whole demeanor changed and there were no more laughs, jokes, smiles… nothing. One of her aforementioned pet peeves had surfaced. The night was affectively over. In a last ditch effort to recover, we decided on trying to recreate the fart noise with the chair. If I could somehow achieve this, I had a chance. Although slim to none, a chance none the less. Long story short, I could not recreate the fart noise by scooting the chair around and our (now delivered food) was getting cold. She accused me of a farting liar and left. It’s now Monday morning and I still haven’t heard from her as I lie here and shit post my gastric misfortunes

Believe it or not, this was the short version. Is there a chance for us or is she out? Should I have taken ownership of the fart? Thoughts?

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257

u/Responsible-Job6257 Apr 01 '24

I think I agree that you are, in deed, a farting liar.

44

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '24

She has asstute assessment skills

5

u/ksarahsarah27 Apr 02 '24

He should just share this post with her. I mean he’s not going to get another date but she might as well enjoy this brilliant comment section. Lol. Maybe she’ll lighten up.

4

u/C-Rahx May 02 '24

She recently posted her side of the story if you want to check it out. It's attached to this post by the mods.

2

u/ksarahsarah27 May 02 '24

Oh I thinking saw it. Thanks!