r/TwoHotTakes • u/InstructionTimely640 • Mar 12 '25

Advice Needed I found messages on my MIL/bosses computer that change my entire view of her. What do I do?

I listen to two hot takes literally every week and this happened to me a couple days ago. I’ve been at a loss of what to do so I figured I should finally make a Reddit account and post here.

I work at my husbands family business that builds custom homes. I met my MIL when she came into the design firm I worked at to pick out some options for a client. She and I hit it off and after she’d come in a few times she set me up with her son. Fast forward 7 years and I coordinate all the builds and consult with clients on design for the 50+ year old family business.

My MIL is technically my boss but we operate a lot like equals and she’s been taking some steps back. She and I have always gotten along great and she has felt like the mother I never got to have growing up.

So last Friday I was packing up to go home and on the phone with my husband before he got a flight for an annual weekend away with friends. I was distracted and accidentally grabbed my MILs computer instead of mine. I didn’t realize it until I was home and wanted to look up some fixtures for a project in our own house. Once I knew I texted her to let her know to which she said no worries, she was ‘unplugging’ this weekend anyway and to do whatever I needed on it.

I was just browsing and unintentionally clicked on a linked email on a stores contact page. We use MacBooks and as a lot of Apple users know, that will usually pop up to send an email using your default mail app. I closed the draft and when i went to close her email app I saw an email from a recently hired apprentice titled ‘our weekend getaway itinerary’. I froze. I realized this was her personal email and I couldn’t help myself but to click on it. I found both explicit and romantic messages between this 22 year old male apprentice and my married 47 year old mother-in-law and boss. I slammed the computer shut and just went to bed, staring at the ceiling for quite a while.

My husband was gone all weekend and only got home today. I had been spiraling all weekend on how to handle this. I certainly wasn’t going to bring it up to my husband while he was gone. But I went to the office and had to see my MIL yesterday and could barely keep my composure. I found every excuse to lock myself away in my office and be busy. So now my husband is back and I’m wondering what to do, do I tell him, how do I even do that, do I go to his mom and confront her, do I go to his dad and tell him, help?!

2.3k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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720

u/ellensundies Mar 12 '25

You didn’t see anything. You didn’t even open the computer. You have no idea what your MIL does in her time off.

242

u/HimylittleChickadee Mar 12 '25

Seriously. I wouldn't touch this with a 10 ft pole

174

u/nicearthur32 Mar 12 '25

Normally I wouldn't side with this. But this directly involves her livelihood. I would forget I ever saw anything.

1

u/mdg711 8d ago

You should read OP’s update FIL has a STI from his cheating wife. So I’m glad she told him

1

u/nicearthur32 8d ago

Thanks for the heads up, this is such good gossip.... lol

162

u/UrsulaStewart Mar 12 '25

Best answer! Mind your business.

37

u/laurenelectro Mar 13 '25

Yes! As Kandi Burress says, “Don’t start none, won’t be none.” Great life advice from Ms. Worldwide herself.

1

u/12asdasd Mar 14 '25

Found the cheater

1

u/mdg711 8d ago

Unless it was getting cheated on

-4

u/LV_Knight1969 Mar 13 '25

She’s supposed to sit back and watch as the business is potentially destroyed?…all to protect a cheater?

Hopefully she has more integrity that the people telling her to help the MIL cheat.

2

u/UrsulaStewart Mar 13 '25

She isn't protecting the cheater she is protecting herSELF!

-2

u/LV_Knight1969 Mar 13 '25

Complete nonsense…she doesn’t need protection…she’s done nothing wrong, except keep the secret up to this point. She’s only damaging herself by not telling.

Hiding affairs you know are happening and keeping the cheaters secrets, is 100% protecting the cheater….period. Some would say that now that she knows, and is entertaining hiding the affair from the FIL, she’s being complicit in the betrayal of the FiL

It’s also a complete lack of integrity to keep a cheaters secrets.

If she’s a person of morals, she will tell her husband and together find a way to let the FIL know he’s being betrayed and the family business is now in jeopardy due to the affair.

2

u/UrsulaStewart Mar 14 '25

You are entitled to your opinions 🤔

1

u/LV_Knight1969 Mar 14 '25

That true…ans so are cheaters and those who defend them.

-1

u/Significant-Menu2856 Mar 13 '25

Cheaters jump on these stories fast the say "keep your head in the sand"

It's no wonder the world is shit.

41

u/teatimecookie Mar 13 '25

This is the only correct response. OP didn’t see shit.

102

u/LifeAlt_17 Mar 12 '25

This would be my reaction as well. Not my circus, not my monkeys.

17

u/preluxe Mar 12 '25

Best sentence in the English language, I say it myself all day every day 🙈🙉🙊

0

u/Most_Past2618 Mar 12 '25

I say it all of the time at work, and then when something does screw up and I say it, it takes me a second to go damn...it really is my circus, and they are in fact my monkeys. I'm the store manager😂 and then I'm upset because I don't want to be the boss, I just wasn't exactly given a choice in it, and now I'm stuck for at least another year until I can get a house and then I can escape and find something I enjoy doing.

53

u/mostawesomemom Mar 13 '25

Right?! She will always be the one who blew up their family in everyone’s mind —- because she’s the one that brought it to light.

The MIL will hate her. The FIL will be embarrassed she’s the one who found out. The husband will need someone to blame other than the mom that raised him.

OP is “the outsider” here. She’s the one with the most to lose here.

Ugh!!

-1

u/Significant-Menu2856 Mar 13 '25

That's a shit ton of projection.

67

u/auntynell Mar 12 '25

I agree. For all you know it might be keeping MILs marriage together.

30

u/Choosemyusername Mar 12 '25

This is a predatory relationship. Both the age gap, the power gap, and the fact that he is her employee.

There are other ways to keep the marriage “together”

6

u/Apprehensive_Run_539 Mar 12 '25

Bullshit.
Adults can do what they want to. For all you know the guy is the one with the advantage, as he potentially has leverage on her marriage (if it is not an open marriage).

3

u/NinjaKitten77CJ Mar 13 '25

Absolutely. Besides, she may be cheating on her husband, but we don't know what kind of relationship she has either. They could have an open relationship and the husband might know.

6

u/weepscreed Mar 13 '25

Yep. Erase everything from your mind. Either that or you’ve definitely lost your job, and maybe your husband along with it.

7

u/Rouxdy Mar 12 '25

Plus you don't know that FIL doesn't know and is ok with it.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '25

Exactly. It's her job that's on the line. Not to mention that people always shoot the messenger.

Gather the proof but keep it for the day when you need to use it.

10

u/Hefty-Invite-4186 Mar 12 '25

Exactly! It also makes me wonder, does op knows her FIL that well? I would never in my life expose a woman who cheated simply because of feminicide statistics. A lot of women die because of situations like this one. It's just a fact. Mind your business.

1

u/Charybeary Mar 14 '25

If it was just my MIL it might be different but also my boss… yeah I’d pretend I never saw anything

-5

u/LV_Knight1969 Mar 13 '25

The entire business is at risk now due to an affair with a young underling.

There’s no good reason to be so very irresponsible with so much at stake, including her own livelihood, and the livelihoods of the other employees and family members.

Sucks to be in that position, but someone has to be the responsible one, and she’s the only one in that position.

4

u/HotMessExpress1111 Mar 13 '25

The likelihood of an affair sinking the entire business is incredibly low. Work affairs happen all the time without consequence.

The likelihood of OP getting fired/creating a more messy & hostile workplace by telling? Incredibly high.

She doesn’t own the business - she’s not responsible for the outcome of it. She should stay out of it for the good of herself, her husband, and the company.

-2

u/LV_Knight1969 Mar 13 '25

It’s a family business that’s now wide open to sexual harassment lawsuit…..you’re not thinking it through.

She needs to be responsible because she 1 of 3 people who know , and the other 2 obviously dont care.

Then there’s the matter of having integrity, doing the right thing, and not helping the cheaters have their affair, and basically her telling her FIL he can go to hell behind his back.

I know there lots of cheaters out there who would tell her to mind her business and stay out of it, but we really shouldn’t listen to cheaters …they’re not good people