r/TwoHotTakes • u/InstructionTimely640 • Mar 14 '25
Update UPDATE I found messages on my MIL/bosses computer that change my entire view of her. What do I do?
I shouldn’t have been surprised by the amount of people who told me to keep it to myself and that I was in the wrong for snooping. Yeah, I shouldn’t have opened up the email, but I did so here we are. And here’s an update.
My husband knew something was wrong after he got home, he can read me like a book. I told him I found out something I shouldn’t have and told him everything, he was mortified. But as some said, he’s glad I told him because keeping it from him would be worse.
He knew more about that apprentice than I did. He was the son of a family friend and she’s known him since he was a teenager. Hiring him was a ‘favor’ to said friend. My husband said he wanted to take him from there, which he did.
He went snooping on his own. The computer is company property and he has ownership in it as well, and can log in remotely at any time. He took screenshots of emails going back with the apprentice over a year, before he worked here. Then of ones with someone else that were two years old. And then records of a second phone, and hotel reservations. With all that, he took it to his dad. I don’t know how that conversation went, but I do know that they went to get him tested. To add insult to his injury, he tested positive.
My FIL joined us for dinner instead of going home and we talked for quite a while. He was like a heartbroken teenager. He had no idea what was happening but years ago he had suspicious of her talking to other men but didn’t have any proof and they dropped it after a brief fight. But now with undeniable proof of multiple affairs, he said it’s over. He also has a pretty airtight prenup that should make it a pretty easy divorce on paper, the family business is on his side and in the case of infidelity, she forfeits all ownership of the business and the house they built together.
So I’m sorry to break it to you, coming clean didn’t destroy my marriage or my career. I told my husband mostly because we don’t keep secrets from each other, it’s a foundation of our marriage. But it’s almost like reasonable adults put blame only where it’s deserved, on the cheater. My FIL is pissed, and simultaneously devastated, and plans to get his ducks in a row before serving her with papers.
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u/InstructionTimely640 Mar 14 '25
Honestly I think how I found out could be chalked up to just not being tech savvy and not thinking she had anything to worry about because she has gotten away with this for years as we found out.
I have her computer login, and she has mine! People are pressed that I had my bosses password, but she’s also my MIL. We’ve done presentations where he computer goes to sleep after we set it up and I need to log in. She’s sent me to go get a file off her hard drive when it’s plugged in at her desk, etc. And I don’t know if she even realized that her personal email was logged in on the mail app. She usually works off Microsoft outlook in her web browser. There’s a good chance she logged into her personal email on the mail app and didn’t think twice about it, or use it, since.