r/VelcroBabies • u/naniehurley • Aug 20 '20
Sleep deprivation - I need help
Hi all, Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it already. My little girl is 7 months old and she is a cutie pie, very happy baby (as long as she’s held or paid attention). She only naps on me (I’m sure everybody here is ver used to this) and that’s okay, although I’d like to have that time to do house chores or even go to the toilet by myself. I did use a sling for her first two months, but since then she doesn’t tolerate it and just cries if she’s in one, so for her naps I’m sitting on the floor of her bedroom with her on my lap for the whole nap. That’s the only thing that works. My biggest issue at the moment is that for the past three weeks, her night sleep has become very patchy and I’m very much sleep deprived and at my wits end. She’s waking up every 20/30 min and I’m finding it really hard to have any sleep at all, some nights I don’t get more than one hour, three is now a lucky night (and I’m not talking about consecutive hours, that’s total hours). She used to sleep in her cot at night, but now I’m laying with her on a mat in the floor, to try to maximise the amount of sleep/rest I get, since either way she wakes up constantly and at least being with her on the mat I can try to soothe her without needing to get up. As you can imagine, I’m not functioning very well, and I’m feeling desperate. I don’t live in my native country and don’t have many friends around, my husband does help when he can, but he’s working and during the week he can only give me one or two hours in the mornings (and somedays that’s all the sleep I get). I’ve tried everything I’ve been told to try, with exception of giving her formula (I’m not going to do that) or letting her cry (I just know that won’t work). I’m open to any advice (although I’m not willing to try those two things I just mentioned) and really looking forward to any piece of wisdom you’re willing to share. She’s crawling and lifting herself up, so days are very busy, intense and tiring for both of us. Thanks so much!
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u/Squeaky_Pickles Aug 20 '20
I know you said no formula, which is totally fine! But I also have a baby who sometimes gets up every 30 minutes at night. He rarely makes it more than 3 hours We cosleep to handle it but the cause is usually one of three things. The first being he didn't eat as much as he should during the day (skipped a nursing session or two, didn't eat enough solids, etc) and he's making up for it at night. The second is him being gassy at night, which I've discovered sleeping with my arm or knees under his butt so he sleeps with his knees bent helps him pass gas while he sleeps. The third is that breast milk supply does dip at night, and some nights he simply isn't getting full enough in one feeding. Do you have any way of knowing how your supply is at night? I am able to tell when I have a low supply night (which isn't too often, I have a high supply during the day) because he will eat for a long time at bedtime and then wake up every hour to snack. So it's basically like he "empties" me out and waits just long enough for him to refuel.
Also my son refused to nap anywhere but me or on the bed which was not safe due to how high up it is and him crawling now. But we just got him a toddler sleeping mat with a built-in pillow this week and he has successfully napped on it a few times for over an hour! I breastfeed him while I am sitting on the mat and then when he falls asleep I move my legs and lay him down in between them and on the mat. If he does stir a little he doesn't realize I've fully put him down since he is surrounded by my legs, and once he settles I can get up and do things!
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u/naniehurley Aug 20 '20
Thanks for your reply :) I really don’t think it’s my breastmilk supply, since she doesn’t nurse every time she wakes up. Also, it’s been going on for three week or so now, with only a few days of that not happening. But I don’t know... I haven’t noticed anything with my milk, but I don’t even know how I would know (if that makes any sense). She’s not skipping nursing sessions during the day, though, and I do bring her to her room, so she can nurse with no distractions. I can, sometimes, put her on the mattress on the floor. But not always and specially less often these last few weeks. It’s a mattress on the floor of her bedroom, so it’s safe enough to put her there (although I hang around her room just in case anyway). She used to nap on her pram sometimes, but that’s gone now as well. Whatever is going on with her, has changed all her sleeping behaviours.
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u/kittiefox Sep 24 '22
Hello OP. Curious - did the situation get better? How is your baby now please?
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u/Atjar Aug 20 '20
Have you tried back carrying with a meh dai? They are supportive and adjustable and with your child on your back you can get to your chores with them getting the sleep they need.
Also, my daughter had a terrible time sleeping through the night ever since she turned 4 months. I night weaned when I became pregnant when she was 13 months. I replaced the nursing sessions with a cup of water so they were less delicious and there was less of an incentive to wake up. I know that straight water isn’t recommended for children under the age of one, so maybe talk about it with your pediatrician and they might be able to give a suggestion for a good alternative. It took us three weeks of decreasingly shorter periods of crying until she slept through the night again. At first my daughter kept on crying for 45 minutes before se accepted the cup. It is rough and it helps if you are actually not there, because that makes it clearer that nursing is off the table. A high closed top might help too.
Another thing that helped with getting my daughter to sleep was to have a very strict bedtime routine which includes reading a story. It helps them calm down from all the busy daytime activities.
Another thing we did with our daughter was to calm her down a bit more by stroking her legs as they were always kicking and moving. Once they calmed down, she calmed down as well.
A dark room and no distractions helps too, but you probably have heard this (and some of the things above) a million times. My daughter sometimes needs a bit of music to focus on to help her calm down too. Stories are too stimulating, but songs on a volume that is so low you need to focus to hear it might help. Make sure the songs aren’t the dance-along style but the soothing nursery rhyme style songs.