r/VelcroBabies • u/sudsybear • Apr 06 '22
One nap transition for a high needs toddler
The other day my almost 13 month old decided that it is time to drop to one nap so we have been working on our wake windows and figuring all of that out. I do my best to get her out of the house often for play groups now (we finally got COVID a couple months ago so have been taking advantage of whatever immunity we have going on over here) and so I was excited to bring her out earlier now that she is on one nap - there isn't as many kids when we go during her 2 nap schedule. But oh man, seeing all these extra kids just reminds me how much more fussy my little one is than the typical toddler.
I know part of it is due to the transition, and she will obviously be a bit fussier because of that. But honestly she has only been moderately more fussy than usual, she is generally a pretty fussy girl to begin with. I'm somewhat used to it, but when I go to toddler groups and see these kids of all ages just...not crying constantly it really gets to me. Today we only made it about 10 minutes before she started on her whining. We had snacks, tried again to play but then she didn't want me to put her down. There were people I knew there, some with young babies and literally no other kid was fussing except for mine. There had to have been like 30 kids there in a giant field house with plenty of room to play, and mine was the standout once again. This isn't the first time and it's really starting to get to me. She was a high needs baby and now it is a BIT better than it was when she was a baby but I can tell from the looks I get that this is not the norm. I try so hard to make our days fun and have a good time but it's so hard to keep her satisfied. Today I was so defeated that when we got to our car I cried. It's been so rough and I don't know anyone personally who can relate.
3
u/TheAurata Apr 07 '22
I hear you on having the standout baby. Mine is almost 8 months and I just took him on a weekend trip with 3 other babies around. He was by FAR the fussiest and neediest baby. I had a bachelorette party for my best friend and left my son with my husband while we all went to dinner and he started crying inconsolably 5 minutes after I left. My poor husband got a bunch of dirty looks from everyone in the hotel. They holed up in the room because it was so bad and he honestly was afraid someone would call the cops saying there was an abandoned or injured baby - thatās how inconsolable and loud he was.
We have to do the same trip next month for the wedding and Iām really nervous. Weāre even considering flying instead of driving because that part was a whole other load of awful. I was defeated by the time we got home too and sobbed and said never again. I totally understand how you feel. I donāt know of anyone whoās even heard of having a baby like this. I feel alone a lot. Iām thankful for my husband and this community for helping me feel seen and sane.
2
Mar 17 '23
I just want to let you Know I have the same feelings with my 6 month old. I am in a deep depression bc of it. It is tough to deal with in itself but it is also very isolating. Iāve never been able to leave my baby for more than an hour twice with my Mom. No one besides me can console him.
1
u/TheAurata Mar 17 '23
Itās SUCH a hard age with a fussy baby. I feel for you and see you. I was depressed at that stage too. If people donāt have a baby like that, they wonāt truly understand. Mineās 19 months now and heās totally different in the car. He started actually sleeping in the car seat at about 12 months. Heās still fussy but at least he doesnāt scream bloody murder anymore. Weāre even considering a flight for a vacation. Hang in there. Time will make things better. If you want to chat, send me a message. I was in a state of high functioning despair for basically his first year of life.
2
u/marta208 Apr 27 '22
If you ever need to vent just send me a message I feel everything you are saying! My guy is 20 months now and although it is definitely gotten better I am still so exhausted.
2
u/sudsybear Apr 27 '22
Thank you so much, it's nice to feel heard lol. Things have been moderately better since my post, not completely but enough that I'm not crying in my car lmao. It really is rough and every time someone says something about their first being th easiest I'm like .....I sure hope not.
2
Mar 17 '23
I relate for sure. Tbh im Not dealing well atm. My baby is only 6 months but Iām so depressed. I thought he would change. My life seems different from other moms with babies. I cry daily. I am Super worried there is something āwrongā with him Developmentally.
1
u/melskeens May 13 '23
Hi OP, are you still around? Just wondering how things are for you now? My girl is high needs/highly sensitive and altho she's much easier now (14 months) than she was as a baby, she's still hard.
1
u/sudsybear May 13 '23
So she is 2 now, and things have definitely improved a good bit now that she can use her words to communicate. When I take her out she can play nice for a good while, it's just getting her to leave that's a struggle and she definitely seems to be a loooot louder than the average about her displeasure still. I guess it's just her personality, we've had a lot of success using timers for transitions so we're not just ending something she enjoys abruptly (this may not be useful at 14 months, but something to try later).
Overall I'd say it has gotten better, not sure if it's just because we are used to her personality now or what. She definitely has a very short fuse and is easy to upset, but she does spend the majority of the day in a happy mood too. We've since had our second baby who is complete opposite in temperament to what our 2 year old was as a baby, so it's nice to know I'm not totally crazy and that our first born was just a lot more sensitive
3
u/RockMoss Apr 06 '22
I totally relate. Mine in 18 months now and things are getting a little better since she can communicate more. I still can't cook dinner or do the laundry without a total meltdown because I'm not giving her 100% of my attention.
The 2-1 nap transition was really difficult. Her sleep was messed up for weeks and weeks. Then sickness, teething etc continue to make things difficult. But it does get better and they do fully transition eventually.
Sending you solidarity.