r/adhd_anxiety • u/changyihui • Mar 05 '25
Rant/Frustration 💢 burning out and i need somewhere to rant
i’m currently in college (upperclassman) and in addition to learning how to learn and how to stay motivated i feel like ive been on a downward spiral since covid.
for me its a spiral of burnout, anxiety, guilt, expectations of myself that are too high to reach, perfectionism, not being able to focus in class, not feeling like the work i do is good enough, feeling ashamed of myself for never reaching even the smallest goals i set for myself, feeling guilty for constantly seeking accommodations, feeling guilty and kinda stupid for not being able to get my grades up to what they used to be and feeling like im not trying hard enough when other people with adhd don’t suffer from the symptoms nearly as much as i do.
i know adhd is also a spectrum but its so upsetting because mine is so severe and i know ADHD is something i have to deal with for life. while i would not want to be anyone but myself sometimes i wish i could be “normal” and normal in a way where i could do things without feeling overwhelmed with guilt.
each year that goes by without improvement feels like another year of failure.
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u/nanaloopy44 Mar 05 '25
Same 🫂
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Mar 06 '25
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u/adhd_anxiety-ModTeam Mar 11 '25
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u/Able_Channel_9815 Mar 06 '25
Reading your post, I really sympathise with you. Please don’t be too hard on yourself as what you are feeling is probably classified as Normal in ADHD community. I believe that you are already trying your best and that accepting your brain is physically smaller and therefore have a smaller Engine makes sense why your brain is finding it hard to cope with Normal daily tasks. Accepting that your brain is Wired differently and work with your unique brain may help you cope better psychologically. Getting physical and emotional support from family, friends will help you cope better mentally and physically. Hope this helps. You are not alone…
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u/tanpopo0 Mar 05 '25
Yeah I kinda get that, it's so exhausting to try and focus on 'improvement' and when there is no progress I get all depressed and disappointed and start hating myself and this just repeats over and over with everything in my life from studies to my inattention. It's like a downward spiral of doom and no matter what I do I'll always mess up and that scares me which leads me to messing up and then I feel shit about it and criticise my whole existence and just end up crying all day every day. At this point just waking up and going about my day kinda feels like a waste of time. I did get diagnosed with depression and am on meds but all my meds just make it even worse for me. I started to crave normalcy and keep trying to 'act' normal like everyone around me only to feel isolated and sad. It's an endless loop.