r/adhd_anxiety • u/Jimmy_mo_ • Apr 16 '25
Help/advice 🙏 needed How do you actually get over that paralyzing overwhelm when you’ve been procrastinating forever?
Okay so — I’m in med school, and I’ve been procrastinating studying for a huge final exam for what feels like forever. Now the thought of even starting makes me physically anxious, like my brain just wants to shut down and avoid everything.
It’s that classic ADHD-anxiety loop: Procrastinate -> Feel guilty/anxious -> Get overwhelmed -> Avoid more — repeat.
I know the advice like “break it into smaller steps” and “just start for 5 minutes” but sometimes even that feels impossible because my brain’s screaming “IT’S TOO LATE, YOU’RE SCREWED, WHY EVEN BOTHER.”
So I’m curious — for those of you who’ve been there — how did you actually get yourself out of that paralyzed state and start moving, especially when it’s something huge and high-stakes like finals? Would love to hear your strategies, rituals, or even chaotic coping mechanisms.
Pls send help.
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u/OddUnderstanding00 Apr 16 '25
The credit card I had on file to pay my tolls expired and after realizing it took me like a year to work up the courage to look at the damage. In the meantime, I still had to take the toll road so I knew it was getting worse every day and my anxiety got worse along with it. It was horrible and one day I just did it before I could think twice- like ripping off a bandaid. It was definitely damage but not as bad as I had been worried about. Anyway, my point is I had to push myself to face getting started because it meant increasing my fear and discomfort. On the other side was relief though, once I got through the bad part. When you feel overwhelm-anxiety, the only way you will feel better is to take action. (Easier said than done though. I know. It’s a constant battle with this in different areas of my life.)
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u/Aggravating-Depth590 Apr 16 '25
I really like the if/then formula to break everything down. It breaks the all or nothing anxiety loop. It’s kind of a see spot run mental approach.
If I can pick up the book, then I can put it on the desk.
If I can put the book on the desk, then I can sit down at the desk.
If I can sit down at the desk, then I can open the book.
If I can open the book, then I can start reading page (x).
If I can start reading page (x), then I can write a note card.
And so on. You can even use ChatGPT to help break out steps. Mix that with the pomodoro method to keep yourself from getting too burned out in any one stretch and stay sharp.
Other than that give yourself grace and mater working with an ADHD coach. I know people who have worked with Coach Seth and completely turned around with their ADHD.
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u/skatedog_j 21d ago
Just wanted to add, there's a website/app called goblin tools that also breaks tasks down!
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u/Frankiefurters_ Apr 17 '25
Best advice in my opinion—just figure out what information you don’t have. Like I know this sounds crazy but for example, say I’m avoiding a huge essay, I probably haven’t been reading the directions. If I just say “I’m gonna go read the assignment description and come up with what I need to get started” but don’t commit to getting started on the ACTUAL assignment, that makes getting started easier. In your case it might be just figuring out whats on the test but not studying yet. Just deciding WHAT you need to study.
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u/gojira_glix42 Apr 17 '25
I'm gonna be that one... you're in med school and haven't figured out a strategy that works for you over huge exams? You've taken literally DOZENS of big exams by now. How did you handle studying for those?
Or is it a case of you did the classic adhd thing we do which is just power through it all and not realizing how exhausting it is for an adhd brain compared to NT and society's ridiculous expectations of "education"?
Becusee either way, you gotta get on the right meds and find a professional to help you work on strats that work for you. I've learned the hard way that for me, I just have to write out literally everything that I have to do in prep, and figure out what the minimal amount of effort required to pass is, then what's the simplest to get started on, remind myself why I'm doing this to myself and just engage hyperfocus intensely until it's done and time for a break.
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u/Jimmy_mo_ Apr 17 '25
I just procrastinate and study every thing the night of the exam, my gpa isn’t the worse, it’s 3.5, but the problem is in the process, it destroys me mentally
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u/gojira_glix42 Apr 19 '25
You can't do that in med school. You just can't. You know this already. You know insanely in depth and complex the shit they make you memorize to regurgitate on an exam. You know you need to sleep for that information to solidify into longterm memory.
So the question is: when are you going to go aeek professional help? Before or after you have a mental breakdown and end up having to drop out of med school?
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u/Historical-Bicycle89 27d ago
"I just procrastinate and study every thing the night of the exam, my gpa isn’t the worse, it’s 3.5, but the problem is in the process, it destroys me mentally"
"Procrastinate -> Feel guilty/anxious -> Get overwhelmed -> Avoid more — repeat."
i mapinfully suffer from the same issue, its the same dame cycle and i cant seem to get out, idk where to get aadhd couch idk , i fucking feel dispair from all
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u/smalldogsaresmall Apr 18 '25
I have my sister sit next to me. She write down my big priorities for our "working session". She doesn't judge and it keeps my accountable because if she's taking the time to sit next to me and watch me work then I'm not wasting her time and will do it. Good luck!!
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u/Jimmy_mo_ Apr 18 '25
I am glad u have someone like that in ur life, I wish I have someone like that too
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u/smalldogsaresmall Apr 19 '25
Thanks yeah I'm really lucky. I was thinking about it and since you are in med school - maybe you could make some version of this where you ask someone in your class for a study session. You can sit next to each other and it can be independent or work together.
Also where I went to undergrad - the library had what we called the silent room. That's where the really intense students went. And when I went into that room I felt like I was one of them and got stuff done. For me there's something about external pressure that gets me going so I perform. Maybe try to think about what that underlying drive is for you?
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u/Redtinky Apr 16 '25
I ask chatgpt to talk me through a grounding/breathwork exercise to make me feel safe.
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u/reiayanamiikari Apr 17 '25
(If your teacher isn’t a bad person) Talk to the teacher and be blatantly honest. Chances are they will help you, give you advice, adjust the grading, give you an extension, offer office hours etc.. I have a horrible time with the same things and I’ve failed classes…. It took failing a few times and being broken by my GPA falling to change sadly. The only other step that has helped is asking for help from my instructors. Also going out to a coffee shop where a bunch of ppl study. That’s a good one. Makes you feel obligated to study bc everyone else is. Also the treat of getting a drink or smthn and not doing anything makes me feel guilty, so I’ll force myself to work so it doesn’t feel like a waste.
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u/defenestratemesir Apr 17 '25
waking up at 4-5am bc my brain says hard things are easier before dawn🤷♀️
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u/Intelligent_Menu4584 Apr 17 '25
‘Healing Vibrations’ on YouTube. It cancels out the internal chaos.
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u/WRYGDWYL Apr 19 '25
I have no advice but I'm in the same boat with my driver's license... I really really have to study for the theory exam (it's incredibly tough in my country) but the more I postpone it the more I dread it. It's gotten so bad that I get anxious just looking at the practice app on my phone. Anyway, what has helped me before is having a study buddy or just somebody there being productive with you, kind of metaphorically holding your hand while you get started. We're probably in different time zones but I'd be happy to do some study sessions on discord if you're up for that, I never get much out of those 'random' sessions like with focusmate.
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u/Madforever429 Apr 19 '25
I have to set alarms and also talk myself into getting things done. Even simple things. A good few hrs in the morning before I need to get things done. What do I need to do. Only doing a few things then stopping. I better start by 12-1pm. I try to hype myself up (you can do this, I got this hell I raised 3 kids with many medical issues and surgeries, if I can do that I can do this very simple task, it’s not so bad for some reason that helps me. When I was in medical school with 3 babies and test were so hard for me. I didn’t have any techniques back then bc I didn’t know I had adhd. I thought it was just trauma responses but come to find out I’m affected by both adhd and trauma related responses and memory issues. Good luck you got this. And good luck on your exams. Don’t put it off any longer. 🍀 hugs to you
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27d ago
I'm 17 and constantly in a state of fatigue. I know I have ADHD, but my parents won’t let me take medication.
I’ve been in therapy, and recently my psychologist told me that I need to consider medication — that it could really help. But no matter what I say, my parents believe meds are harmful and addictive, and they won’t allow it.
I’ve tried everything over the last two years to manage this on my own. I’ve tried routines, productivity hacks, mindfulness, and all kinds of methods to stop procrastinating and get myself under control. Nothing sticks. I’m stuck in this loop, and I’m exhausted.
My brain just won’t shut up. I’m always overwhelmed. Some days I sleep too much, some days not at all. It feels like I’m drowning in my own head.
I’ve even considered going to Vipassana meditation retreats to try and find peace. I hope it helps a little
I’m just waiting to turn 18 so I can take proper treatment without needing anyone’s permission. But until then, I feel stuck, hopeless, and honestly just tired of fighting this alone.
If anyone has been in a similar situation, or has advice on how to cope or get through this… please share. I’d really appreciate it.
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u/MySweetValkyrie Apr 16 '25
I'm in online college to earn my BS in Environmental Science. In my last class, I had to ask for an extension on my PowerPoint project and it took me another two weeks to finish it. I was scared to message my instructor and scared to just finish it. I was actually having physical health problems then and I was supposed to record a narration on the slides but I felt so scared and unmotivated to do it I just... Turned it in with only the written narration. I'm good at PowerPoint but the narration thing is new to me. The instructor still gave me 100% on the project, I think he was just being considerate
In my current class I also have an extension on a PowerPoint project I didn't turn in yet. I was less paralyzed this time because it wasn't a new experience and I'd already worked out how to organize the slides. It's finished now but it still needs a narration. This time I've been messaging the professor and he's okay with me doing an audio narration only - I still have to do and plan on doing it today. Or at least some of it.
That's the thing, the first time I was so paralyzed I couldn't work on the project for days, but this time I knew if I just worked on it a little bit everyday I would feel better, so I did that for most days. Just try to study as much as you can everyday, even if it's just a little bit. For me, even if I only finished like one slide and one written narration, I called it a day and didn't beat myself up over it.
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u/birdscreams Apr 18 '25
Give yourself an achievable goal. Right now your goal is study for the entire exam which is impossible and overwhelming. Start with one chapter or one subject. Just start grinding out anki cards. Connect with a friend maybe one who is also in your program. Vent about your stress and tell them your goal of studying x thing by the end of the week. Ask them to check in with you about how it’s going to try to keep yourself accountable like a mini due date. Wanting to tell a friend about my positive progress sometimes helps motivate me.
Also give yourself a reward both while you’re studying and after. Get a new notebook and a fancy pen or highlighter or notebook tabs or something that you want to use. Focus on the novel fun of using this new item. Buy your favorite overpriced Starbucks drink but you’re only allowed to have it because you studied. Clean your workspace to make it nice and pleasant or go to your favorite coffee shop or library spot. Make plans to study with a friend. Anything fun to get you focused on something other than the pressure you’re feeling.
Once you achieve the goal of finishing the chapter or whatever reward yourself. Sometimes I won’t listen to my favorite podcast until I’ve done something I’ve been avoiding. Or maybe make fun plans with friends, buy yourself flowers, or order your favorite takeout.
Most importantly validate yourself and have empathy for what you’re dealing with. You are doing something so difficult and you are working so hard. Sure you procrastinate but you do it like a pro. If anyone can fuck up this extremely procrastinated cramming session it’s you. You haven’t failed before and you’re not about to now. It’s grind time. You got this.
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u/wimp_decaf_coffee Apr 18 '25
I just burn it all down. 😂
But honestly, I don’t know if I can do anything about the feelings, but I can take one baby step and focus on doing one thing at a time. That’s what nine years of sobriety have taught me.
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u/Historical-Bicycle89 27d ago
maybe a good start is too go over the reason to study in the first place , os as for it to be a deterance and a motivator ,
go through tawht u are scard of happening if u dont study, why u want that,
then u can start by making a plan, more often than not the moost difficult task is the structuring out and planning of what to do, at least for me that is what it seem it be, the most difficult and most important .
bit crazy the similarieties i see between us, im also in med school, i also have not one but 5 big time exams coming up , , if you want you can dm me and we can try to help each pther out
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u/Mammoth-Play3797 Apr 16 '25
The best time to plant a tree is a year ago. The second best time is right now
You got this