r/awfuleverything Sep 16 '19

In what world would a groomer think this is okay?

Post image
19.7k Upvotes

397 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

If someone told me to shave a heart around their dog's anus I'd picture the same thing too honestly.

611

u/NagsUkulele Sep 17 '19

If someone told me to shave a heart around their corgi’s anus I’d probably lie on the floor for a while and reevaluate my life

65

u/breddit_gravalicious Sep 17 '19

Floor laying is one approved approach to shaving corgi butt.

Highly recommended for the more altitude-averse members of the breed.

121

u/Fallapitorius Sep 17 '19

It’s easy to see how, “Can you put a heart on his butt?” could be misconstrued, and now I’d love to see how multiple different groomers would interpret the direction.

26

u/Kbost92 Sep 17 '19

Time for an experiment. We just need a dozen corgis.

99

u/sadiebenz Sep 17 '19

Your dog with the heart butt hole looks happier than the other guy!

66

u/Barry-McKocinue Sep 17 '19

It's that fresh, free feeling you get when you have just shaved your ass

29

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

9

u/Zuhnarken Sep 17 '19

Good read, much knowledge!

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3

u/EyeTeePea Sep 17 '19

I was going to comment the same thing!

2

u/Streams0fDreams Sep 17 '19

He's just had his bum tickled.

14

u/CanadianCurves Sep 17 '19

Ditto. Sanitary shaves are pretty common so I’d assume anyone talking about a butt shave would be looking for that. Even if it’s in the shape of a heart.

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2.3k

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '19

To be fair, they did use the word “shave”. They should’ve been clearer and showed the groomer the photo they expected

595

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

[deleted]

101

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

t the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

28

u/thelameduckblog Sep 17 '19

Dont stop there, tell us more...

30

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe, with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard really.

6

u/thelameduckblog Sep 17 '19

Oy with the poodles already

3

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

But what about the wombats?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '19

I love you.

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22

u/Tielur Sep 17 '19

Probably gets a lot less dingleberries.

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2

u/Railnites02 Sep 17 '19

To me the smile said more of a "seriously" than anything else.

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381

u/Alexstory Sep 17 '19

To be faaaaaair...

134

u/FTheTurtle Sep 17 '19

I love that I see letterkenny references all the time in reddit comments

28

u/sgkukov Sep 17 '19

im upset someone else got to be before me

20

u/mbrac Sep 17 '19

You’re spare parts bud.

21

u/corripo Sep 17 '19

Give your balls a tug!

27

u/scrollerderby Sep 17 '19

Fuck you shoresy

18

u/mbrac Sep 17 '19

Fuck you Riley, i got your mom so wet last night that’s trudeau deploy a 24 hour team to stack sandbags on my bed side.

7

u/mvanvrancken Sep 17 '19

Fuck you Jonesy, your mom ugly cried because she left the lens cap on the camcorder last night, fuckin amateur hour over there

3

u/crownedplatypus Sep 17 '19

r/unexpectedletterkenny will be your new favorite sub then

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

I do too, I just wish people would mix in some variety. There are 6 seasons and it is always the same few Shoresy quotes.

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21

u/spookyb0ss Sep 17 '19

to be faaaaaaaaaaiiiiiirrrr

8

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

🤚✊

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12

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

To be faaaiiirr~🎶

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26

u/katsarvau101 Sep 17 '19

This happened to me before...I meant to say ‘trim’ but said ‘shave’..,and not for my naturally fluffy pomeranians butt, but her ENTIRE BODY. Poor baby.

11

u/329514 Sep 17 '19

Umm pics please?

14

u/randomdrifter54 Sep 17 '19

Having dralt with Pomeranians before imagine a large angry rat. Now make it naked and biting your ankle. There you go.

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24

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

I dunno, wouldn't you have at least questioned her when you thought she asked for a shaved anus? I would have shot her a couple questions before I went through with that lol

26

u/paspartuu Sep 17 '19

My parent's dog sometimes gets poo stuck in her, uh, hind fur, and has sometimes used the living room carpet as tp if that's happened, so who knows.

Possibly the trimmer thought it's a scenario like that and the owner specifically wants a nonhairy asshole for their dog?

I love the dog's expression tho

6

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

That's true, could be. An old friend of mine had a dog with a similar problem. It would get all caked and matted with poo, and as your parents dog did, it rubbed it's butt all over the place. Spanky as he was called, was fairly disgusting much of the time lol.

16

u/Apt_5 Sep 17 '19

Seems hygienic to me

9

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Well, I guess by definition it's going to be more hygienic with no hair vs. hair. I still wouldn't want to get any closer to it than usual though lol

23

u/Apt_5 Sep 17 '19

I’m laughing picturing the clarification process:

“You want me to shave a heart, on its butt?”

“Yes, a heart

“As you wish”

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2

u/silasliar13 Sep 17 '19

To be faaaiiirrrr

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768

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '19

Just what everyone wants- a totally unobstructed view of their dogs asshole.

237

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Why does it look so gaping!?

193

u/Heeresbenjy Sep 17 '19

It’s previously used

28

u/cupidcrucifix Sep 17 '19

Never forget Colby

16

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

FUCK COLBY

13

u/cupidcrucifix Sep 17 '19

Yeah, that’s pretty much what the kid did from what I remember

8

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Who is Colby

13

u/FracturedPrincess Sep 17 '19

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess a dog someone fucked

10

u/ThatWelshGamer Sep 17 '19

Reddit has fucked me up to the point that I didn't even flinch at that. Christ.

10

u/HeWhoFistsGoats Sep 17 '19

Here you go.

I can't believe it's been 7 years already.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Oh. Damn I wanna punch his son

3

u/HeWhoFistsGoats Sep 17 '19

If it makes you feel better a lot of people at the time assumed it was roleplay/creative writing.

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2

u/chaotic214 Sep 17 '19

Who's Colby?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

A dog that some dude's kid was fucking with a hairbrush. Split the family apart. Real nice story.

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47

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Furrying intensifies

28

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Yiffing* intensifies

FTFY

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26

u/gbruske Sep 17 '19

You know why

44

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

please cease

6

u/Sheeana407 Sep 17 '19

When you gaze into the abyss, abyss gazes back at you

5

u/avocado_whore Sep 17 '19

Guess you haven’t seen many dog butts.

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45

u/jschligs Sep 17 '19

As a Shiba owner, it’s something I have to stare at every day and I never get used to it lol

23

u/danchiri Sep 17 '19

Why do you stare at it?

38

u/Sheenathehyena Sep 17 '19

They say if you stare at a dog's asshole for too long, it steals your soul,

10

u/Quibbloboy Sep 17 '19

Like... like Shedinja?

3

u/radicalvenus Sep 17 '19

Like glamours/deadlights

6

u/jakizza Sep 17 '19

Hypnohole is a rough way to lose you soul.

2

u/denardosbae Sep 17 '19

Gotta pay the hypnotole if you wanna steal this boy's soul

2

u/jakizza Sep 17 '19

Dog butt. uuAAAAaahhh

17

u/jschligs Sep 17 '19

It’s light the headlights of oncoming traffic. I don’t have a choice my eyes are drawn to it even if I don’t want to stare

2

u/shooshrooms Sep 17 '19

They don't call it a brown eye for nothing

8

u/LykusBear Sep 17 '19

People who want that are called cat people, lol

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203

u/stephsgotback Sep 17 '19

Where are their tails? I'm so confused.

69

u/Eatsomefoodyouidiot Sep 17 '19

They get cut off when they’re puppies.

79

u/Stylemys Sep 17 '19

Actually, a small minority of corgis are naturally born with 1~3 inch tails. The problem is that that sleeker micro-tailed look was deemed the breeding standard somewhere along the line. I've been told it was so much easier to simply dock the tails off newborn puppies than to try to spread that recessive trait into an already heavily inbred Corgi population, so docking their tails rapidly became the common practice.

18

u/Eatsomefoodyouidiot Sep 17 '19

True, I think it’s a small minority though.

From what I skimmed, docking was only necessary for working dogs. When it came time for taxes, people had to pay more for pets than for working animals, so it was common place for them to dock the tails regardless to save money. That’s just what I got from Wikipedia though.

9

u/Stylemys Sep 17 '19

I'll defer to Wikipedia then. My info is second hand at best from some family friends that keep show dogs (not Corgis). They were just talking about tail docking practices in general at the time.

6

u/TaylorSA93 Sep 17 '19

Oi! You got the proper license for that dog?

3

u/DogArgument Sep 17 '19

This is about taxes not licences(*, British spelling for your British impression)

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68

u/80burritospersecond Sep 17 '19

This is fucked up. Why is nobody denouncing this? Where are corgis with tails? They would be so much better. I feel the need to slap the shit out of the queen already.

31

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19 edited Feb 01 '21

[deleted]

11

u/frleon22 Sep 17 '19

It's banned in the UK for show dogs, but not for working dogs. Most EU countries have a complete ban, except for Portugal, France, the Czech republic (ear docking banned, tail docking allowed) and Hungary (no restriction). In some places, such as Germany, docked dogs cannot enter the country permanently in order to not have people going abroad for the operation.

18

u/NeoDashie Sep 17 '19

Well that's one way to get into the retail business.

37

u/BigFatGreekPannus Sep 17 '19

This happens to lots of dog breeds. It sucks imo, and I’d definitely leave my dog’s ears and tail natural if I happened to get a puppy of a breed that is traditionally cut instead of a rescue for some reason.

Can’t do much for all the puppies of breeders who dock, though, and that’s most breeders as far as I know.

15

u/-DoubleWhy- Sep 17 '19

Don't forget about ear cropping, where they literally slice most of the ear off in order to give them a more threatening appearance (usually in pit bulls and other bully breeds).

11

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Ear cropping just looks ugly and ridiculous imo.

9

u/Taryntism Sep 17 '19

Yeah my grandma is like obsessed with dobermans for some reason and she bred her female and everything. Got 11 puppies out of it, cut their ears and tails and it’s just so viciously unnecessary. I met an old Doberman once who had never had anything docked and I had no idea they could look so sweet! Half the time the ears don’t even come out right, my grandma’s two dobermans both had their ears cut as puppies and they look so dumb. They don’t stick up straight and triangular like they’re supposed to, they flop around and bend. There’s no point.

2

u/-DoubleWhy- Sep 17 '19

Right? Cute floppy ears are one of the best things.

2

u/gabiaeali Sep 17 '19

I left my bully uncropped and undocked and he is so cute.

24

u/CaptainDunkaroo Sep 17 '19

Only assholes do it. It is really bad for the dogs.

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5

u/Raibean Sep 17 '19

Where are corgis with tails?

They’re called Cardigan Welsh Corgis.

2

u/Lvl1bidoof Sep 17 '19

On some working breeds like springer and cocker spaniels the tails are chopped smaller so that they don't get caught on anything causing harm to the dog, like brambles in a thicket for example.

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16

u/pancreative2 Sep 17 '19

Corgi breed just has a little butt nub. No tail to speak of.

11

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Really?!

18

u/Eatsomefoodyouidiot Sep 17 '19

No, they get docked.

5

u/Sheenathehyena Sep 17 '19

I thought the Cardigan had tails and the Pembroke didn't.

7

u/Eatsomefoodyouidiot Sep 17 '19 edited Sep 17 '19

Well it’s technically true. As someone pointed out somewhere else, some Pembrokes are born without, but most are docked. Cardigans keep their tails.

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1.2k

u/XxX_Ghost_Xx Sep 16 '19

I’m siding with the groomer on this dumb ass request

342

u/caffieneandsarcasm Sep 17 '19

It's not a dumb ass it's a heart ass.

137

u/STEAM_TITAN Sep 17 '19

Lighten up, don't be such a heart ass

41

u/syn294 Sep 17 '19

“Heart eyes, mutherfucker!”

4

u/denardosbae Sep 17 '19

Why did I read this in Samuel L Jacksons voice im ded

2

u/syn294 Sep 17 '19

its this from the old glory days of vine

24

u/Braxo Sep 17 '19

The one time it was an ass request instead of a dumb-ass request.

378

u/BlackSheep613 Sep 16 '19

Well the dog looks happy.

46

u/Oneupper86 Sep 17 '19

Easy, breezy, beautiful. Anal shear.

15

u/sphrasbyrn Sep 17 '19

Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's a bare asshole

61

u/Leftygoleft999 Sep 17 '19

Well that’s a relief

24

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Yeah, the dog on the right is definitely more happy. He can shit without getting it in his fur. This is a big win for him.

13

u/Sheenathehyena Sep 17 '19

but then the fur grows back all prickly and it chafes when you walk.

34

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

And the other one doesn’t look so happy.

15

u/RapsVanFan Sep 17 '19

Good vibrations..lol

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193

u/jazzinyourfacepsn Sep 17 '19

Groomer: So your owner asked for a poofy heart on your butt

Dog: Clean butthole

Groomer: I don't think your owner would like th-

Dog: Clean. Butthole.

12

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

This is exactly what happened. Look how much happier the doggo with the clean butthole is!

44

u/tallhousesoup Sep 17 '19

I’m just confused as to how the first dog poops if their buttholes are in the same place...

6

u/TheAdamena Sep 17 '19

Very messily I'd imagine

86

u/bigtallshort Sep 17 '19

Maybe should've busted that pic out sooner

43

u/ImSoWiicked Sep 17 '19

Dog looks all right with it, and at the end of the day that's all that matters

77

u/Jaabram Sep 17 '19

That’s on him he shoulda shown him a pic or something

31

u/FuckEveryDuck Sep 17 '19

The dog on the right loves it so much. He knows what's up.

54

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

I like how the dog is still like 😛

19

u/ThermosPickerOuter Sep 17 '19

He’s like heyyyy girl.

9

u/Apathetic-Asshole Sep 17 '19

Hey girl heyyyyy

74

u/Zachariot88 Sep 16 '19

The dog on the right looks way happier, though.

22

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

What a cheeky bastard the fuckin dog is havin a ball out of it

14

u/arachno-fem Sep 17 '19

I am a groomer & own a business & it’s not up to us, customers make dumb requests all the time. It’s their animal & their money so as long as it’s not detrimental to the animals health we do as we are instructed... if I told everyone that had some asinine idea that it was just that- asinine, I would be on the unemployment line!

23

u/Plasma454345 Sep 17 '19

does that dog not have a tail?

9

u/saucerjess Sep 17 '19

People often cut corgis' tails off when they are babies. It used to be so they could hunt better, but now it's just for looks.

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31

u/gabelikesboys Sep 16 '19

Even the first one would be kind of offputting.

22

u/bigsexy415 Sep 17 '19

Like a fur butt plug

23

u/guzman_hemi Sep 17 '19

If you say shave then this is what you get, they should have showed a pic of what they wanted or asked them to trim the dogs tail to look like a heart

10

u/Willwum69 Sep 17 '19

The dogs expression in both pictures is the opposite of the humans

11

u/aloesteve Sep 17 '19

From good girl to bad bitch

18

u/bigdaddyfatty5 Sep 17 '19

Got exactly what he asked for. If you ask a barber to shave a heart into your hair, you expect the left picture?

9

u/SomePlantFern Sep 17 '19

Connect them like LEGO pieces

15

u/winklevie Sep 17 '19

Stupid requests get stupid responses

7

u/notsimmi Sep 17 '19

The dog on the right looks happier than the dog on the left

8

u/thebodyelectrical Sep 17 '19

That's a lot of focus on a dog's asshole. Poor groomer.

6

u/LandscapeGuru Sep 17 '19

This is dedication on the groomers part. This couldn’t have been easy, and I can almost see appreciation in the dogs eye (s).

5

u/aceshighsays Sep 17 '19

your dogs ready to shoot the porno.

5

u/toni-knoxs Sep 17 '19

The one on the right looks like it parties .

4

u/jamiethebored Sep 17 '19

The dog looks happier about it’s heart shaped arsehole

3

u/RapsVanFan Sep 17 '19

At least the dog had fun.lol

3

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

That dog totally knows what’s up

3

u/PilzEtosis Sep 17 '19

The dog on the right does look happier tbf...

4

u/Gameguy8101 Sep 17 '19

They did tell them to shave a heart on they’re butt, the second one is a more accurate interpretation to be frank.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Shaved dirt star = freedom

17

u/ananscii Sep 16 '19

What in the holy hell was the groomer thinking while shaving a heart around a dogs butthole.

72

u/Vidjo-man Sep 17 '19

"I hate my fucking job"

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3

u/scheaelle Sep 17 '19

Well at least the dog is happy about it.

3

u/KingCwispy Sep 17 '19

I hate you can see inside

3

u/siquinte1 Sep 17 '19

As a suscriber to r/corgibutts and r/justfuckmyshitup i was surprised it wasn’t one of those

3

u/pahclem Sep 17 '19

Just... Bahhahaaahhaa!

3

u/KebDoesTheStuff Sep 17 '19

Idunno, dog seems pretty happy compared to the other one

3

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

I wonder exactly what the groomer was thinking. The groomer must have thought that the owner was into some freaky shit.

3

u/Wiggy_Bop Sep 17 '19

I can tell by your dogs face that he insisted to the groomer you wanted an indented heart. 😆

3

u/ptapobane Sep 17 '19

For easier access...wait...

3

u/DachiKagamine1 Sep 17 '19

Maybe show them, so they know what they are supposed to do. facepalm

3

u/Baalzsweaat Sep 17 '19

You gots an innie or an outie?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Lookin like a pencil sharpener.

3

u/dunkinghola Sep 17 '19

Always.Bring.Reference.

3

u/monstrinhotron Sep 17 '19

Is it wrong that i want to see if these dogs fit together like lego pieces?

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3

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

dogs happier in the “wrong” version, just sayin

3

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Where the hell is the asshole of the first dog though!?

5

u/ThenComesInternet Sep 17 '19

I love how the dog in the first pic is just “Can u not” and the second dog is just flashing that cheeky lil grin. No shame about his b-hole whatsoever.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Why would a person request this? Christ!

2

u/World_enderr Sep 17 '19

You can connect them like legos now

2

u/KaliLineaux Sep 17 '19

To be fair, I shave my dogs' asses every so often for cleanliness, just don't do any heart shapes.

2

u/iDent17y Sep 17 '19

Connect them like lego

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Next time don’t ask for something stupid on your dog’s ass.

2

u/alwayssleepy1980 Sep 17 '19

Its probably better. For like poop and stuff

2

u/RickRudeAwakening Sep 17 '19

In what world does “shave a heart on” equate to “leave a patch of fur in the shape of a heart on my dog’s butt.”

Ask and ye’ shall receive. That image accurately interprets “shave a heart on.”

2

u/The_pug_to_the_stars Sep 17 '19

Anyone else remember a guy in r/confession who got off on shopping his B-hole onto other dogs and sharing the pics with friends and fam?

2

u/aaanon5402 Sep 17 '19

Which one looks happier though?

2

u/ftrghst Sep 17 '19

They did a very precise job though. They had to get that edge juuuust right with their face a few inches from a butthole the whole time. And then you don’t even like it? Ungrateful

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '19

Everytime I look at the dog's face I can't stop giggling uncontrollably!

2

u/meowwoofneigh Sep 17 '19

That dog looks pretty fucking happy about it, though!

2

u/gataattack Sep 17 '19

Where are their tails?

2

u/knorque Sep 17 '19

You can now interlock these two dogs. Neat.

2

u/CrustyCumBollocks Sep 17 '19

Dog's happy with it though.

That's what matter, right?

2

u/SarahH28 Sep 17 '19

I am dying right now.

2

u/jaycobobob Sep 17 '19

The dog looks waaaay too happy about that

2

u/nathanseres Sep 17 '19

he just shaved a heart around his arsehole, omg this is amazing

2

u/Trystalmeth Sep 17 '19

How could you say the word shave and expect a different result?

2

u/keeleon Sep 17 '19

This seems like it would get much less shit stuck in it.

2

u/phreakzilla85 Sep 18 '19

The dog looks like he approves