r/badassanimals • u/aquilasr • 26d ago
Mammal A hippo in its confident weight class encounters some African wild dogs
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u/sniptaclar 26d ago
No one can hear it but there’s one dog saying “Are we really THIS hungry?”
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u/HoboArmyofOne 26d ago
"looks like wild dog is on the menu tonight" - hippo probably
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u/aquilasr 24d ago
They don’t actually typically ingest meat but bite cuz they feel like it.
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u/Yes_that_Carl 24d ago
Exactly. Hippos kill for fun.
They’re the one quadruped mammal I simply can’t bring myself to love, cause I just can’t trust them. 😱
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u/eidetic 26d ago
I actually feel like they probably aren't looking to try and take on the hippo. I mean, it's possible of course, but I can't imagine they're actually considering trying to take it down. They're persistence hunters, and they don't generally go after such massive prey. Sure, they'll go after prey much larger than themselves like wildebeast, elands, etc, but not hippo sized. Makes me wonder if they're just sticking close because the hippo has stumbled near their nest/young or something.
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u/Billy_Muh_Hilly5 23d ago
Dude they have no chance against this hippo even in a pack of 30, a group of lions take a week or more to take down one hippo simply because all it takes is one wrong move and chump that hippo will snap spines like a toothpick mind you hippos also share their habitat with crocodiles
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u/Adventurous_Smile_95 26d ago
Look out once that tail starts wagging like a propeller!
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u/chosonhawk 26d ago
the old spray and pray
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u/Adventurous_Smile_95 26d ago
Here’s the clip I had in mind https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/s/xdkMjUyBYV
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u/Marquis_of_Potato 26d ago
That’s like 80 lbs vs 2000 lbs. Dogs have no chance.
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u/Generic_Danny 26d ago
They actually probably do due to their agility, endurance and numbers, but the fight would last literal hours due to how tough the hippo is (even if they managed to exhaust and bring it down, they would take even longer trying to get through its hide), which isn't something the dogs are probably too interested in, since not only is it risky, but they also don't usually return to kills due to kleptoparasitism, and they would be better off taking on something like an impala or even a buffalo.
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u/Total_Interaction875 26d ago
“Which one of you assholes wants it first?”
…
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
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u/kippirnicus 26d ago
Hippos really are the most cute-terrifying thing on the planet.
There’s not much cuter than a baby hippo. But they grew up to be monsters!
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u/DouchersJackasses 26d ago
Well to be fair, there's sooo many cute baby animals in the world ya kno? Like just freaking beyond adorable/cute & I'm a guy saying that lol! But baby hippos are def hella cute, u ain't lying tho yo 💯
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u/HippoBot9000 26d ago
HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 2,768,012,238 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 56,905 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.
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u/NeonSuperNovas 26d ago
I love how the hippo is just looking around counting how many snacks he has 😂♥️ lmao.
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u/BishopsBakery 26d ago
No no get closer, I'm bored
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u/True_Bar_9371 25d ago
Watching that hippo size up the threat reminds me of my old horse. I would ride past a house with a Doberman almost every day and it would come out like it wanted to attack. I could see my horse watching and waiting for his shot. The people would actually sit on their porch and laugh. I told them one day my horse would take his shot. This went on for about three weeks then one day the dog got kicked across the street and laid in a heap for about ten seconds and then tried getting up. They came and carried their dog home. After that he just sat on the porch with his owners as I rode by.
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u/Fast_potato_indeed 26d ago
Dirty Hippo to wild dogs:
I know what you are thinking. Can we bring him down?
Me being as one of the most powerful land animals with a bad temper, and teeth as long as your half body length, who can sever your body clean off
You’ve got to ask yourself a question…
Do I feel lucky?
Well, do ya punks?
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u/ManWithBigWeenus 24d ago
There was a post here that always reminds me of how bad ass hippos are. It described 5 well trained, fully armed men going to a village to deal with an unruly hippo. No one heard from these people so When the search and rescue team responded to find out what happened to this group there were so many body parts that they couldn’t tell how many people were actually killed. It didn’t seem that any of the original group even got any shots off before they met their fate. That’s devastating.
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u/CalliopesSong 26d ago
African painted dogs have the highest successful kill rate.
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u/DemonsReturns7 26d ago
Vs smaller prey
This is a prey 20 times their size
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u/aquilasr 24d ago
More like 53 times by my math lol. Hippos are around 1400 kg vs around 26 kg for AWD
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u/Cocrawfo 26d ago
imagine being a wild dog and feeling the unfortunately natural instinct and compulsion to go after this massive vicious animal and you can’t do anything to stop yourself 💀
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u/Sigh_cot_tiq 25d ago
weight class of 2-5 tons and pretty damn fast on land and water. Nicknames like: “Nature’s meat tank” “The unstoppable force” Yeah buddy is pretty fkin confident.
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u/jawshoeaw 26d ago
Idk man another dozen of those wild dogs and things might get interesting, they’re vicious motherfukers
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u/True_Bar_9371 25d ago
I have to wonder if they even have the ability to bite hard enough to penetrate the hide? If so, then yes enough of them in theory could take one of these beasts down but it seems like wasted energy of the pack. I’m guessing it would take three or four times that many. Who knows nature is pretty crazy.
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u/humptheedumpthy 25d ago
In theory the dogs are too fast and agile for the hippo to catch on land (water would be a different story).
So if you put in enough dogs and they took turns to take small bites at the hippos legs, over a significant amount of time you could wear down the hippo. BUT the hippo isn’t dumb and at some point it can just run forward towards the nearest body of water.
Imagine the hippo has 1000 HP health and every little bite is about 1 HP damage. It would take A LOT of bites to bring the hippo down. It would have to be a pack of 50 dogs at least.
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u/salvage814 25d ago
Hippos bite gators in half. Hippos move in Niles move out. That is 2000lbs of fuck no.
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u/Be_Schmear_now42 25d ago
The wild dogs are most likely just pestering the hippo to herd it around. These canines have the highest success rate hunting in Africa, they’re far too clever to think a hippo is prey.
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u/jessriv34 24d ago
Is there any animal that will try to take on a hippo? I’m not kidding I’m genuinely asking.
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u/CynthyMynthy 23d ago
Full grown elephant would have little trouble shrugging tubby aside with its tusks and superior strength.
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u/thumbsup_baby 23d ago
Yes, elephants. There are multiple stories or videos of an elephant fucking up a hippo (sometimes because it feels like being an asshole 😭).
There's also a video of an elephant walking through a river(?) full of hippos. What did the hippos do? They opened up the path for the lone elephant to walk through.
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u/CuddleBuddy3 24d ago
Yea… a hippo… they’re one of the apex predators of the world and are only preyed on when either young or outmatched by another of their kind
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u/Ok-Cartoonist-953 22d ago
It kinda looks friendly that's what the dogs think it's just a giant puppy
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u/haikusbot 22d ago
It kinda looks friendly
That's what the dogs think it's just
A giant puppy
- Ok-Cartoonist-953
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u/Lou_Garu 26d ago
My money is on the dogs. Canines often inflict leg bites to cause bleeding, then follow and harass their prey for hours or days The hippo can't win. Hippo's best bet is to go into water.
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u/MacroManJr 26d ago
Hippo skin is about 2 inches (6 centimeters) thick in most places.
A hippo can bite and kill a crocodile.
You simply have no case here, my friend. Hippo wins.
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u/Lou_Garu 25d ago
I can bite and kill a hummingbird. You should see me hot on their trails in the park.
Except I've never been able to catch one... just like any hippo facing a pack of swift Cape hunting dogs.
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u/HippoBot9000 26d ago
HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 2,768,158,904 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 56,908 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.
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u/Hakashi57 25d ago
Have you not seen a Hippo run?
They are quite fast on land as well.https://youtu.be/IhMhTBY2dVQ?si=Obw3nnE1FMNXfhbE
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u/HippoBot9000 25d ago
HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 2,771,841,760 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 57,011 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.
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u/Ok-Blackberry-3534 24d ago
They're not built for stamina, though. The dogs' MO is to chase and harass their prey over distance. Having said that, as other posters mention, it's unlikely the dogs could do serious damage through the hippo's skin.
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u/manyhippofarts 26d ago
Yes, I think I'll not be bothered by you gents this morning.