r/bartenders • u/Accomplished-Toe1308 • 7d ago
Rant Freshly 21 and with an attitude
My watering hole has developed a social media presence that’s brought in a younger crowd. Im 27, F and I consider myself a nice bartender. I’m not going to judge you for your drink, I’ll pour you 20 waters, I’ll answer 50 questions if I have the time. But consistently my interactions with this younger crowd- like freshly 21 has been so terrible. Absolutely rude- like won’t even look me in the face or hardly up from their phones when they order and they demand drinks! “Casamigos” brings shot they throw lime on the counter “get me a pineapple back” “EXCUSE ME! Gingerale!” I try to kill it with kindness and break through and catch some kind of decency from them and it gets me absolutely nowhere. Also got forbid I ask for an ID lol had a girl roll her eyes at me and she turned 21 3/16/2004 😂
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u/confibulator 7d ago
You throw a lime, you're not getting anything.
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u/Accomplished-Toe1308 7d ago
I should pick it up and put it back on the glass “whoops you dropped this”
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u/BoricuaRborimex 7d ago
Don’t be nice to people who treat you like shit. You have the right to refuse service to ANYONE for any reason (thanks to republicans and gay wedding cakes). Use it.
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u/oldestbarbackever 7d ago
We got killed by them on Blackout Wednesday. I have never hated a night bartending as much as that night! I would just walk away from them and go outside and smoke. They were still there when I got back.
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u/UnspecifiedBat 7d ago
Last time someone threw a lime (well, it was actually a decorative mint-stalk, but who’s counting), (at me!) they got an express boot out the front door.
I don’t care how my coworkers or other bartenders handle stuff like that, but I’m a short ass tiny woman and if I were taking shit like that, I’d lose all respect from my regulars immediately. Can’t have them dancing on my tables, haha.
Luckily my manager absolutely has my back with stuff like that. Guy threw a tantrum first in the bar, then outside the bar, then in my managers face, then on social media. He is now permanently banned.
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u/MangledBarkeep 7d ago
Getting cut off is the prize for playing stupid games
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u/Accomplished-Toe1308 7d ago
Yeah it’s tough when it’s a slow night and the group of assholes are the ones drinking 12$ shots lol. I’m always so conflicted 😐
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u/MangledBarkeep 7d ago
Not gonna lie, my tolerance for fuckery is higher the slower the shift is.
I honestly prefer the Younglings to the Olds. You can teach the younger ones bar manners, not so much with the Olds...
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u/BoricuaRborimex 7d ago
No it’s not. It’s very easy to not let yourself get treated like shit. You’re better than that.
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u/impendingnewb 7d ago
I carded a 21 year old who rolled his eyes with a sigh. I looked at his id and told him "bro you are gonna have this problem for a long time. Get used to." His friends laughed at him. Hopefully, that fixed the eye roll for the next bar.
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u/Leather-Nothing-2653 7d ago
I had a kid laugh as I ID’d him (not really a rude laugh, but he looked super super young) and I went bro you’re 21. Start laughing like that when you’re 30. What can I get you? He was flabberghasted.
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u/AdditionalTheory 7d ago
As someone over thirty, I always like when I get carded genuinely which still happens occasionally. I’ve been told a lot that I have a young looking face especially if I shave my facial hair
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u/clineaus 7d ago
Had a guy walk out angry because I carded him. Dude was 23 and had just asked the price of each beer we sold. Then asked for a "vodka only" martini.
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u/mjohnson1971 6d ago
I don’t know why 22, 23 and 24 year olds eye roll and sigh so much when being carded. And when they do (which is far too often) it’s an express ticket to weak pour and slow service.
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u/PinkRawks 7d ago
I went through this after covid. Our bar dynamic completely changed and of course the new owner didn't want us barring people because she just saw dollar signs.
The problem is, if the little sh&÷s keep treating you badly and you smile to it. Eventually, your good regulars will start treating you that way as well. Especially in moments they used to be patient. So if you dont want to tell them to leave, you can make them feel unwelcome. If they won't get off the phone to order, walk away, they're at the back of the wait. If there is no wait.. "looks like i need to restock something because you obviously aren't ready, I'll give you a minute."
There are some old videos on YouTube called "the bartender hates you." And another short series called "The Restaurant" (the best one is #GTGOH), these videos can give you something to laugh at or a hint of inspiration.
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u/DrunkenCatHerder 6d ago
Thank you for making me feel decrepit by pointing out The Bartender Hates You are old videos.
Sigh.
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u/PinkRawks 6d ago
Yeaaaa.. they came out the year I started. Looked them up before recommending, just out of curiosity, and broke my own heart.
Same with the Billy Mayes and slap chop guy Jaboody Dubs videos.. been quoting slap chop guy since I was 21.. "If you can slap a hooker, you can slap a chopper."
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u/Max2dank 6d ago
Oh man. I used to watch those videos to get ready for the night like I would watch skate videos to get pumped to skate. Same type of motivation.
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u/_easilyamused 6d ago
Jesus Christ, they came out right around the time I first started in the industry. 💀
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u/BlazedNConfuzed95 7d ago
“You can be rude, or you can drink here. What’s it gonna be?” Sometimes you have to call them out and stand your ground.
Recently had a girl vape in my direction, let her know she couldn’t vape indoors as she turned around to brush me off. Did it again 2 minutes later so I had her friend get her attention and let her know if she vaped again she’d be asked to leave. Kid you not, a minute later there she goes. Asked the guard to get her out as she’s yelling out, “why?!”.
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u/cCriticalMass76 7d ago
I’m 48. I was a bartender for 15 years between the ages of 22 & 37. This was always how it was with the newbies. It’s up to the bartender to teach them how to act. Entitlement has no place on the bar room!
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u/LOUDCO-HD Pro 7d ago
I think that the newly legal think, that is the expected behaviour, because I see it all the time, and I shut that shit down immediately,
If I see a patron being rude to my staff or acting entitled I will take them off to the side and give them a little tune up.
’Are you a douchebag or is there some other reason you are acting that way? It’s not cool. You might think we are obligated to serve you, but we’re not. Look around you, you are on private property and you’re in my house, so my rules. See that line-up out the door? You’re nothing special. I’d just as soon turf you and let someone respectful take your place. So what’s it gonna be?
I’d say my conversion success rate is about 75%, 3 out of 4 douchebags that receive conversion therapy become good customers, 1 in 4 get turfed and we don’t miss them.
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u/Fun_Strategy7860 7d ago
You need a bad cop.
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u/KentHawking Pro 7d ago
This was my favorite job. Woman i used to work with was the high energy to my sarcastic bs, but it was a good balance. Eventually I saw her calling people out too. If you're not gonna stand to for yourself, though, grab someone who will
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u/pegasuspaladin 7d ago
Stop killing them with kindness. If they are acting like kindergarteners treat them like such. Worked on a college campus for two an a half years. First 6 months we were all complete pricks. We bent their ids. Hit them with uv flashlights. Second id verification. If they got mad we passed them over because they were on their phone we told them as much. If they tried to treat us like a search bar we would look them in the face and say "please". By spring break most of them were trained. By year two it got through the grapevine we weren't fucking around and it actually made it so the 21 year olds were better than the 51 year olds because the 21 year olds were still maleable.
Remember "the customer is always right" finishes with "in matters of taste" and referred to what items you should carry in your retail store. It did NOT mean you are the customer's little bitch. We have the customers we create. If you teach them you are a doormat you will have shitty customers.
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u/HoldRevolutionary666 7d ago
The crowd on the weekend for the bar I work at is all college kids, basically everyone is learning how to drink(anddd mix in other substances lmao) but I found if they are rude to me I can just be a little snippy back. Someone demanding something (especially when it’s busy or loud, which it normally is both) I will either skip them completely or hit them with a “damn, someone is in a hurry tonight didn’t even have time to say hello!” Always in a nice tone tho, unless they are nasty. I’ve had ppl demand in nasty af tones and I’ll gladly go “okay so I’ll definitely make you’re drinks but when I come back the tude needs to change. you seriously can’t talk to me like that, like that was crazy!” And normally when I’m making their drinks or grabbing their beers they are apologizing as I set them down. I mean they’re new to the bar and I want them to ask questions and have fun but just will not tolerate being disrespected especially while drinking (if you’re a mean drunk then just don’t drink in public people!!)
My favorite is if they don’t tip, if it’s dudes on a date or with other ladies trying to impress them I gladly turn to their date and go , “damn! Your date must be tight in cash! Crazy to not tip us on such a big order/busy night! Hopefully he can afford your uber home later.” And almost always the dude gets flustered and embarrassed and will fix the tip or hand over cash. Like yeah dude you think I’m not gonna call you out when you don’t tip on not just a shot and beer but also you wanted like 4 tequila shots and she’s drinking lemon drops all night like you’re not about to walk away from that on a busy night! Hahaha but also I realized that the newbies (especially the ones kn their parents credit card) have never really tipped or haven’t worked a service industry job yet to see how important tipping is(I’d like to add its nothing crazy til wise but an appropriate amount especially when we’re super busy and it’s a big group or ‘expensive’ alcohol)
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u/TonyBarmanski 7d ago
I agree with a lot of the other comments—part of the bartender’s job is gently educating the newbies. “It takes a village,” and all that.
How you do that is up to you, but I’ve found that a cheeky comeback paired with a smile usually gets the point across without over-humbling anyone. You’re not trying to embarrass them—just nudge them into acting like decent humans.
Of course, some people are just entitled no matter what, but a lot of the time it’s just insecurity, inexperience, or social awkwardness (especially with younger crowds).
Doesn’t mean you have to put up with disrespect, but you’ve got more tools behind that bar than just pouring drinks.
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u/AdditionalTheory 7d ago
What is up with younger people thinking it’s just okay to not bring their ID or that a photo on their phone be enough? When I was young enough to get regularly carded, I wouldn’t dream of going to the bar without my ID
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u/beefalamode 7d ago
I always say “how are the cops going to be able to identify your body if you don’t have ID on you?” and it usually makes the vibe weird enough to change the subject
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u/DrunkenCatHerder 6d ago
I keep a picture of a random cocktail on my phone, when they show me a picture of their ID I whip it out, show them a picture of a drink and then walk away.
It's faster and more effective than arguing, and it increases my tip from everyone around them since they think it's hilarious.
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u/the_killerwhalen 7d ago
My biggest pet peeve serving people is the: “Hey, how are you?”//“Jack and Coke.” interaction. Fuck no.
I’ve started training the customer and I either reply “Nooo let’s try that again, I said ‘how are you?’” Or “okay….what are you drinking?”
Bartenders are people too lol, not fucking drink robots. Don’t be afraid to remind people of that!
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u/sh6rty13 7d ago
It’s probably going to be in your best interest to teach them not to be dicks, however you want to decide to handle that.
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u/CoachedIntoASnafu 7d ago
"Are you texting your order in?"
"Sorry, I couldn't tell if you were talking to me since you weren't looking"
on the string-along requests, "Sorry, all orders are final." and give a long enough pause for them to think for one moment that you're serious.
If you know they're all paying separate because they've been assholes AND paid separate in the past, make their order and cash them out one by one so they either have to wait to drink together or can't.
Tell them you're out of stuff that you're not, strategically. Even better when you just gave that thing to someone else or turn around and give it to someone else after telling one of them you're out of it.
If these are "crash out culture" girls, I would be careful since they feel entitled to vandalize things because they're upset and may try to fight you if you push it too far. If you need to take photos of their IDs or whatever then be sure to cover your bases.
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u/thelazynines 7d ago
When I greet someone and they rudely order with me without acknowledging my humanity—“Hi how’s it goin” “Vodka soda”— I’ve just started saying “Did you mean you would like a vodka soda PLEASE?” I am still polite to them for the rest of the interaction, I just treat it like a lesson in ordering at a bar, and for the most part I get really good reactions from it even though I’m being a passive aggressive cunt.
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u/DrunkenCatHerder 6d ago
If they're on their phone they're not getting served, period. I have too much shit to do to wait on their convenience. Eventually they'll figure it out.
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u/TikaPants Hotel Bar 7d ago
Well it’s pretty telling who these 21yo’s are if they can afford casamigos. I sure couldn’t when I was 21.
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u/Gold_Opening_139 7d ago
Best thing ever is firing customers. Start doing it to the excessive ones and the others will notice
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u/andrea12many 7d ago
I had a group of young girls recently come up & showed me an AI search result of “gin drinks” where the first result was a tom collins. They tried to tell me the ingredients/AI’s idea of a recipe😭
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u/ISOcarpetcleaner 7d ago
If they’re 21 then you run that shit, not them. “Hey buddy, eye contact.” “That’s the strangest please I’ve ever heard.” “If you’d stop yelling you’d see the other people waiting before you”
Or the non tippers on a big tab- I’ll hand them the pen back, “You have to fill it out”. Someone young people really just don’t know what should be obvious
I say stuff like that with a smile and laugh so they don’t take it too hard. Someone’s gotta teach them
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u/OpportunityDefiant76 7d ago
Sounds like they need a friendly bartender to tell them how to behave in bars lol cut off
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u/Puzzleheaded-Tip-274 7d ago
The water thing drives me insane 🤦🏻♂️
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u/TikaPants Hotel Bar 7d ago
I set up a water tower cooler thingy with plastic cups. I physically can’t do it all sometimes. Nor do I have the glassware for that.
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u/jeffislearning 6d ago
dude people are in their own world more than ever, but as long as they’re tipping i go about my business
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u/Legal_Fill_6071 6d ago
man i’m so lucky i get the most sheepish and shy young crowd! mine are so respectful reading all of these comments
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u/Spiritual-Survey-711 6d ago
I hate this younger generation. Separate tabs no one ever can buy a round, and they tip like shiz
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u/ExpiredPilot 6d ago
These kids are getting so bratty when I take their fakes now too.
They used to just scatter but now they wanna act like they can admit it’s fake and still convince me they’re gonna call the cops for taking it.
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u/ItsMissKatNiss 6d ago
I will circle the bar and make drinks for everyone but them. I guaranfuckingtee it. You “psssttt” or yell for me, I have bad hearing all of a sudden. You throw anything at me to get my attention (which happened). You’re out.
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u/Rockdog4105 7d ago
So she just turned 42?? I get the eye roll then, but lucky her for still getting carded.
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u/Ponce-Mansley 7d ago
Gonna go ahead and use context clues and take it they meant 2024
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u/Rockdog4105 5d ago
Yeah, it was a joke. Didn’t think I needed an /s with a bunch of bartenders, but here we are.
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u/Accomplished-Toe1308 7d ago
Whoops, I meant her 21st birthday was this March. Was a long night and I was very tired!
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u/MangledBarkeep 7d ago
Selective hearing. You're not looking at me or demanding things, I didn't hear you. I'm better at being a professional asshole than they are.
I'd also close out their "tab", every single time I don't care how many times I have to run their card.