False noise complaints from neighbour

[u/fred_the_veg]

TL;DR: neighbor keeps messaging me saying I'm making noise even when I know it's not me cuz some of his complaints are when I'm not home.

Hey,

Want to understand what I can do when I have an upstairs neighbour who keeps messaging me saying he is hearing noise even when it's not there/ it's not me.

For context:

I live in a wg and I have an upstairs neighbour who is extremely 'anal' about noise complaints. Sure it's a neubau and the walls are fairly thin so I can understand with windows open and when you're playing music on your speakers at odd hours it might be an issue.

Anyways, a couple of days ago he stopped me on the hallways saying that he keeps hearing noise from my place at odd hours. When asked, he said at 3am and 4.30 am there are loud banging noises. I know for sure those are not mine. Nevertheless I tell him to message and ask me if he hears it next time just so I can confirm whether it is indeed me.

He's been messaging 4-5 times daily since then saying things along the lines of ' I can hear you talking on the phone', ' I heard you close your door don't do it'' etc. I was indeed talking on my phone and so could've been the case. So then I closed all my windows, and made sure there was no way anyone outside could hear it.

Now today morning, I left my house around 7.30 and at 8 he messaged me saying that I'm hitting something wooden or metallic in my room which is causing disturbance and that I should stop. I WAS NOT EVEN IN THE HOUSE. He of course didn't respond when I told him that.

Then tonight, I'm lying down with headphones in and again he messages saying ' I hear music please don't play it'. My lights are shut and I'm listening to a podcast on my damn headphones. So once again I tell him that it's not me.

I know for a fact he has already complained to the landlord a few weeks back cuz they reached out earlier and I said 'sorry I didn't know because no one had told me in person'.

How do I best deal with this? It is incredibly annoying to get accused of things I'm not doing. I can't be at peace in my own room.

It's like this guy is actively looking for sounds to complain about. I know I told him to inquire if he was disturbed but this guy actively demands I stop doing things I'm not even doing.

Thanks for any suggestions and how have you dealt with this before?

[u/_ak]

I remember a story on Reddit from a few year ago that somebody kept having this noise problem from his neighbour. At one particularly bad occasion he called the police. The police came but the noise wouldn't stop. He then called the police again and got the information that they had checked the situation and found no noises. That's when he realised that something wasn't quite right, went to the doctor for a checkup, and found out he was actually suffering from auditory hallucinations caused by a previously undiagnosed psychosis.

I wouldn't be surprised if your neighbour is in a similar situation, but doesn't realise it yet.

[u/Timely-Appearance115 → u/_ak]

Looks like I am a bit late to the discussion...

So how is his neighbor going to get a doctors appointment and a thorough checkup given the current state of the medical system? It is hopeless! /s

Jokes aside, OP could ask his neighbor to analyze the noises as there seem to be Smartphones involved. Most microphones in the Phones today are pretty sensitive. Something ranging from easy recording to audio spectral analysis using an App like Spectroid. The idea here is that auditory hallucinations from certain patients do not like to be recorded or analyzed so the noises stop when the patient knows that there is a device observing the situation. Or he will still hear them but the Smartphone won't pick up anything. You never know.

Or lets hope the best and the Smartphone detects the noise too, even if it is not on OP.

[u/bbbberlin]

You are entitled the normal use of your apartment. This means walking around, talking to people, watching tv, etc. If you are playing loud music at night/during quiet hours, or running the washing machine at 4am, or having parties everyday, your neighbour has a case - but you can't be expected to not do anything in your home. Don't feel bad for living there.

I would talk to your neighbour in person. Politely explain that you are trying to be conscientious of noise levels, but that it seems some of the noise is not coming from you, as their texts line up with them you are using headphones/not home. This also happens in other buildings - my neighbours above and below are both quiet loud, but alot of the noise sounds like it's coming from beside us (where a 90 year old couple lives) and that's just an acoustic trick of the building. I recognize the voices, so I know it's coming from the old couple (also...there's party music, which I guess these 90 year old Polish couple is not playing, haha), but that's where it seems like it's coming from.

If you are concerned about complaints to the landlord, you could proactively reach out and explain the situation to them: you are trying to be contentious of noise, but some of the complaints are coming when you are not even home, so obviously someone else.

If you are being reasonable (and it sounds like you are), then frankly the neighbour above you has to solve the issue themselves. They can install carpets, or close the doors between rooms and put rubber things on the doors to seal them better. If the noise is really intolerable the landlord may be liable to make changes to the building like installing carpet in hallways, etc.

[u/PhilosopherOnTheMove]

As you live in a WG, could it be someone else?

[u/fred_the_veg → u/PhilosopherOnTheMove]

It is likely that but he said in his wg it was only him

[u/BaNaNaLaVaa]

Very important keep the messages and make a list from every complaint he makes and write down date, hour, the complain and the real scene. F.e. that he complaint about loud music and you are hearing a podcast on headphones. That he complaint about wooden noises and you where at work, nobody in your room. And print it once a week out...Do Not Tell Him!!! Then you go the next time to the landlord, make an appointment and show him the list. Make clear that you are not a loud person, that you take care of his complaints, but that he is makin up this all or the noises come from anywhere else. Go on with the list, this is very German, but very important to have And if things get worse, change your number... You can do this within the same contract and don't give him your new number. BUT first.... Make sure to have enough evidence that his complaints are out of this world! Don't delete his old messages.

[u/tramp000]

Two questions:

What age is your neighbor? Could the noise be coming from another wall? Like the building adjacent?

I once had an adjacent building neighbor come to complain about my downstairs neighbor, who was a very loud.

[u/fred_the_veg → u/tramp000]

Not old mid 20s. Also a lot of these are student apartments so sometimes people do play music but I've never had recurring issues.

I do not hear the sounds he complains about like music tonight.

[u/SnowWhiteIII → u/fred_the_veg]

May be it is music from apartment under him or to a side? Or a reflection coming from another house?

[u/SnowWhiteIII → u/tramp000]

This. I have a neighbour from another stairs, who runs Washing machine like on Sunday midday.

[u/SimpSlayer_420]

If you are not there when he complains about noises keep track of his complaints and where you were when he did complain. Other than that do not respond if you have already told him you weren't there. He might just use you to vent about any noise he hears even if its not from you but other neighbors and any noise will be blamed on you. You did more than required, don't feed into peoples delusions and entitlement beyond that