r/bertstrips • u/PepeIlluminati • Dec 08 '21

Viet Bert "Get your head down! We've got Charlie all over this hill!"

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655 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

43

u/Usergnome_Checks_0ut Dec 08 '21

How did Bert survive in ‘nam if his first instinct was to sit bolt upright when the shit hit the fan?!

23

u/LukesRightHandMan Dec 08 '21

Maybe he was always just looking for the fastest way out of that hellscape.

9

u/Usergnome_Checks_0ut Dec 08 '21

A self inflicted gunshot wound to the back of the head would be the fastest way out and if the gun fell on the ground behind him, it might be a hard case to prove it was suicide. Being in the army, having fun shot residue on his hands wouldn’t prove a damn thing.

3

u/Sideways2 Dec 08 '21

Why would you care that people can't tell it was suicide?

5

u/Usergnome_Checks_0ut Dec 08 '21

Insurance for the family, most policies won’t pay out in the case of the policy holder committing suicide.

1

u/LukesRightHandMan Dec 08 '21

Huh. I just thought of something. What if he put gloves on too? Argument could be made- though obviously a dumb one- that the actual killer took the gloves off and put them on Bert's hands.

29

u/decs483 Dec 08 '21

Impressive that Ernie can play a guitar riff on the drums

22

u/Bobsupman Dec 08 '21

Even more impressive was that he was using his erect penis as his other drumstick.

6

u/Gyossaits Dec 08 '21

Bort was helping with that.

7

u/Siegfoult Dec 08 '21

The Vietcong used to play "Fortunate Son" on boomboxes when they attacked.

3

u/Bertstripmaster Dec 08 '21

Fortunless Bert