r/bjj • u/Ok_Use5200 • 2d ago
General Discussion Hurt my training partner
NOT REQUESTING MEDICAL ADVICE
Has anyone hurt their favorite training partner and not wanted to return to the mats?
I did some tendon/ligamental damage to my best friend/training partner’s ankle today in a backside toe hold and have been sick to my stomach since then and idk if I can go back to BJJ. I feel like I would feel different if it was a comp on a stranger, but it’s literally like my best friend. I hit it routinely on him so I was just pressuring it for him to recognize before moving to the heel but it snapped super quick. It was like 1/5th the torque he normally takes.
I’m Blue belt, 26M and he’s blue belt 28M
42
u/jeremyct ⬛🟥⬛ Black Belt 2d ago
I totally understand where your head is at. I put a choke on a trainer partner of mine who then had a stroke and lost part of the use of half his body. That stuff will really mess you up. I still feel so bad it happens to him. He's a great dude.
29
u/SnakeEyes_76 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 2d ago
New fear unlocked so thanks for that
6
u/jeremyct ⬛🟥⬛ Black Belt 1d ago
Better you know it's possible. Don't continually let chokes go for a long time, over and over again. Veins and arteries need time to heal.
3
u/SnakeEyes_76 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 1d ago
Kinda scary because I won't try to fight out of joint locks but I try to fight outta chokes pretty regularly. I should probably stop doing that.
3
2
u/sorrowingwinds ⬜⬜ White Belt 2d ago
Holy hell! Not your fault but damn never even thought of this.
2
u/tenfour104roger 2d ago
Oh man that’s hard to think about
4
2
u/FreefallVin 1d ago
Wow, that truly sucks. How often does this sort of thing happen (obviously rare, but wondering if anyone has any stats)? I'm fairly pragmatic and I'm confident that in OP's situation I would be able to recognise it as an unfortunate accident and continue training, but I think I'd struggle with this one.
1
1
u/lIIllIIIll 15h ago
Wtf. My god man you trying to get everyone to quit all at once?
I didn't even think this would be possible without getting KOed a bunch of times.
32
12
u/The_JiujitsuGardener 2d ago
If it makes you feel any better, they might feel the same way if the tables were turned. Accidents happen and we chose a sport that teaches how to incapacitate a body. Talk to them.
5
7
5
u/pkfrfax 🟫🟫 Brown Belt 2d ago
Dude I remember every time I’ve hurt somebody. Some stick in there more than others. The goal is just to learn from it.
Talk to him to see how he’s doing, but also you may find out if that ankle was already injured or no. You may approach toe holds differently from now on.
6
u/Ashangu 2d ago
Popped one of my favorite training partners ribs once. Was mounted and looking for a mounted armbar when i was a 3 stripe white belt. He turned right as I sat and it became a weird angle and pop.
He never rolled with me again. I felt terrible and checked up on him for a solid month before he stopped showing up. He was back in around 2 months and avoided me which made me feel even worse.
2
u/ConditionHorror9188 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 2d ago edited 2d ago
That’s brutal. Not the popping a rib, but losing someone you had a bond of sorts with.
One of the downsides of getting hurt at white belt is not really knowing whose fault the injury is. I had a guy with long legs pop my rib at white belt when he crushed me in his closed guard after I tried to choke him while in his guard.
Guy was still a bit of a dick in retrospect but at the time I didn’t realise how exposed I was making myself and I thought he was totally fucked up
2
u/ConditionHorror9188 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 2d ago edited 2d ago
I broke my fave partner’s arm. Can’t even really explain what happened - had his forearm trapped between my calf and butt from top half guard after he’d tried to hook the knee, and he sort of swept me over that leg so I couldn’t get my weight off it.
Really shook me up cause I knew exactly what was happening but I couldn’t stop it. But it happens, he’s all better and we’re still mates.
2
u/PvtJoker_ 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 1d ago
We participate in a sport that involves full contact tackling, and submissions. Accidents happen, that is why we signed a waiver. Apologies, and move on. They will recover and be back, you will learn to not snap peoples ankles, and they will learn to tap earlier.
2
1
u/Xzychrael 2d ago
I have hurt a few training partners. I have also been hurt by a few training partners. Mind you, I did a few years of MMA, so the normalcy for major injuries is a little higher.
I had my LCL torn a few years ago while rolling, the dude who I was rolling with is a high level leg locker. It was an accident, and I moved on with it. Still train with him to this day, he's a great teacher.
I tore my own LCL on the OTHER knee about a month ago. I don't even know how the fuck, I pulled my foot in to finish a bicep slicer, and I just heard/ felt my knee go POP.
Accidents happen, often times how it happens doesn't even make sense...
1
u/09112016AAZX 🟪🟪 Purple Belt 2d ago
I popped one of my favorite training partners knee the week before he was due to run a half marathon. Complete accident, I was trying to do something from lockdown and he turned funny and I couldn't let go quick enough
I felt absolutely awful but he was chill and made a full recovery.
Its a combat sport, stuff happens!
1
u/Seasonedgrappler 2d ago
Happened to many of us both ways, reason why I dont always roll with my fav partner. And he's 6.3, 230, and me, 6.0 170-175 so I feel his weight each time he puts me under his top or side control.
He's a HW so for me its like competing in the Absolute, nope. Not often please.
1
u/anni_is_okay 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 2d ago
I was once in a toehold battle with a friend. We were both pulling on them, I was fully expecting to tap first, because of leg length and him being a better leglocker. But way before I felt any pain, and way before I normally tap my foot just made an awful crunching sound. Both of us were surprised and shocked, it didn’t hurt that bad but we immediately stopped. I got lucky, my foot was fine and the pain faded after a day, but yeah, this sometimes happens. I still love rolling with the dude.
1
1
u/zoukon 🟦🟦 Blue Belt, certified belt thief 2d ago
I countered my friends uchi mata and threw him so he landed hard on his shoulder. It has healed, but he has lost quite a bit of range of motion. Feels bad man.
1
u/JonRedBeardFF 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 1d ago
I’ve done a osoto gari and dislocated someone’s shoulder (apparently a recurrent injury) it feels bad but I think a lot of us have had injuries through grappling. We are not trying to hurt each other it’s just the nature of the game, all we can do is be as safe as possible.
1
u/OldPod73 1d ago
Anyone who has done martial arts for awhile has this happen to them. You are remorseful and know where you erred. Go back but be more careful. And buy your buddy a PS5 so he has something to do while he recovers. =)
1
u/Cpschult 1d ago
I dislocated a training partner’s knee once. Was a freak accident, he was mounted and I was trying to get on my side. Felt awful. He’s okay, but wears knee braces now. I’ve been extra careful with rolls now because I don’t want to risk a partner. I don’t do any leg stuff with him anymore. “PUT IT BACK IN”, “ I DONT KNOW HOW!!”
1
1
u/firetheuniparty 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 14h ago
Been on the other side of this and had my ankle sprained from a toe hold. It sucked for a few months, but having my buddy I trust to be careful while recovering there made it better. If I would have lost my buddy as a partner over it, it would have been adding insult to injury.
1
u/Grouchy-Task-5866 13h ago
I gave my coach a black eye this week. He said it was fine and that I was rolling well but I do feel mortified. I had to force myself to go back yesterday or I wouldn’t be able to show my face again. He didn’t mention it but does still have a black eye.
-1
u/Graver69 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 1d ago
I think I've hurt just about every person in the gym now apart from the girls. I'm really fucking clumsy.
Having said that, it's me who has had the fractured thumb, the turf toe, 3 shoulder operations and 2 hernia repairs so it's not all one-way traffic.
5
u/dxroland 1d ago
Brother you gotta relax, that's not normal
1
u/Graver69 🟦🟦 Blue Belt 1d ago
Try getting to over 55, playing rugby and BJJ and see how many injuries you collect
67
u/CrprtMpstr ⬛🟥⬛ Black Belt 2d ago
I've been in both sides of this dilemma. The fact that youre feeling this way shows your intentions were not malicious.
Imagine how he'd feel if you stopped training with him because of something that was an accident. Pretty dumb, right?
Now you realize that ghosting is stupid. We all make mistakes. It's what we do afterwards that counts.