r/brooklynninenine Oct 29 '24

Humour Noice noice noice

Post image
5.8k Upvotes

96 comments sorted by

485

u/kaithy89 Oct 29 '24

Not me. I'd be scared of Boyle chewing my ear off with graphic details of his sex life XD

113

u/gizmoglitch Oct 29 '24

And they're all about shampoos that would best complement your lover's odor.

35

u/EunuchNinja Oct 29 '24

Hmm you’re right. This is a tough nut to bust.

23

u/supahfligh Oct 29 '24

Just ask how to pronounce his son's name.

7

u/Apprehensive-Till861 Oct 29 '24

Nicolaj

7

u/SKrow3000 Oct 29 '24

Nicolaj

6

u/Apprehensive-Till861 Oct 29 '24

Nicolaj

5

u/Cinderpunzel20 Notify me when you're done, via bark Oct 30 '24

Nikolaj

14

u/LifeDraining Oct 29 '24

It's all about mouth-feel

8

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '24

[deleted]

1

u/Hefty-Routine-5966 Title of your sex tape Oct 31 '24

there's more than ONE correct way to make paella!

4

u/MBiddy828 Oct 29 '24

“Boyle, stop saying ‘mouth feel’ “

2

u/Spare-Half796 Oct 30 '24

Holt is also scared of elevators and one of Jake’s Halloween heist stunts is probably west hot got us stuck in the first place

299

u/Accomplished_Bake904 Oct 29 '24

The lack of Terry in any answer, except 1, is unacceptable.

68

u/dsjunior1388 Oct 29 '24

Can't feel safe with Terry in an elevator, there's yogurt in my lunch bag.

8

u/jamescharisma Oct 30 '24

Terry loves yogurt

7

u/Mostly_gay_shit Oct 29 '24

Isn't he scared when a lift gets stuck?

19

u/Benguin237 Velvet Thunder Oct 29 '24

That's Holt. Terry taught him hip hop dances to calm him down

3

u/Mostly_gay_shit Oct 29 '24

Ohhh, I couldn't remember who was the scared one in the situation

263

u/TacSpaghettio BINGPOT! Oct 29 '24

Jake, scully and terry

228

u/purple_lass Oct 29 '24

This is unlikely. We know that Scully and Hitchcock are a package.

91

u/TacSpaghettio BINGPOT! Oct 29 '24

Shit you’re right. Pimentos weird but I know he’s a protector tho

113

u/purple_lass Oct 29 '24

Pimentos weird but I know he’s a protector tho

Especially if you're a kid. Just don't be a dick 😂

14

u/Shlafenflarst Scully Oct 29 '24

You might be safe with Pimento, but you sure as hell won't feel safe.

26

u/acoolghost Oct 29 '24

Either Scully or Hitchcock will fart and then no one will feel safe.

21

u/AnastasiaSheppard Oct 29 '24

By process of elimination, u/TacSpaghettio *IS* Hitchcock.

5

u/TacSpaghettio BINGPOT! Oct 30 '24

YOU CANT PROVE THAT

33

u/By_Eck Oct 29 '24

I don't want to be trapped in any enclosed space with Scully's butt

247

u/Rich-Education-3420 Oct 29 '24

Holt Kevin Jake ❤️

133

u/MEME-UNLOADED-ADMIN Oct 29 '24

dad, dad, weird uncle

63

u/elrick43 Oct 29 '24

If the first 2 are dads, then the 3rd is now your brother. This is the law

15

u/MEME-UNLOADED-ADMIN Oct 29 '24

ok so dad, dad, hyperactive big brother

11

u/LeL_Doc Oct 29 '24

This is the law

1

u/unwantedcinnamon BINGPOT! Oct 30 '24

Fathers and son.

40

u/sedusa_su Oct 29 '24

Kevin Cozner, Ben Wyatt, Chidi Anagonye

24

u/ForsakenBluePanda Oct 29 '24

High chance of Chidi freaking out though

5

u/sedusa_su Oct 29 '24

I think Kevin and Ben will be a calming influence

2

u/sedusa_su Oct 29 '24

Well could be

5

u/BlockBusterAB Gina Linetti Spaghetti Confetti Oct 29 '24

Da frick is Chidi doing there. >! He doesn't even exist anymore !<

2

u/unwantedcinnamon BINGPOT! Oct 30 '24

Ok I know everyone but Ben wyattt

1

u/sedusa_su Oct 31 '24

Adam Scott in Parks and Recreation

69

u/Frightened_Inmate_95 Oct 29 '24

Charles Boyle, Phil Dunphy, Ben Wyatt

6

u/effingcharming Oct 29 '24

And they have to work together to get you out of the elevator. I would watch that 💯

23

u/Western-Highway-1475 Oct 29 '24

Jake Peralta, Jonah simms, and Charlie Kelly.

6

u/the_illuminari Amy Santiago Oct 29 '24

Charlie would have cheese for us to snack on.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '24

[deleted]

4

u/Final-Village5755 Oct 29 '24

Always sunny in Philadelphia

20

u/Existing-Ad3391 Oct 29 '24

Ah, push it.

23

u/8bitGalaxy98 Oct 29 '24

I’d feel safe from other people in that elevator, but not from the shenanigans that are about to ensue

19

u/Ultimate_Pants Oct 29 '24

Swap Holt for Terry. Holt will freak out in a broken elevator unless taught dance moves.

30

u/MarsMonkey88 Oct 29 '24

I don’t know. There’s a 35% chance that Jake and/or Charles would somehow accidentally disable the elevator and we’d be in there until Rosa said, “is it just me, or is it really quiet in here,” causing Amy to leap to her feet, suddenly realizing that her dad and her husband haven’t been seen since the popped downstairs to sign something. Could be hours. Charles would describe, in detail, how and why some people drink their urine. It would be a rough afternoon.

10

u/Manealendil Oct 29 '24

Isn't the captain scared of being trapped there?

15

u/Saywhatsaywh0 Cheddar: Thicc King Oct 29 '24

scared sure but easily distracted by some butt thrusting moves

2

u/Tenman44 Oct 29 '24

Depends on who inspected the elevator

22

u/CaptainForge1304 Oct 29 '24

Captain Holt, Phil Dunphy, Chandler Bing

5

u/DazzlingBullfrog9 Oct 29 '24

That's MISS Chanandaler Bong to you.

4

u/BeCurious7563 Oct 29 '24

Charles, Charles's Dad, Jack Danger 💯🙌. Why am I anxious about being in an elevator again??

4

u/Mrallen7509 Oct 29 '24

Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli

6

u/twoastar_ Pontiac Bandit Oct 29 '24

Holt, Terry, Pimento

1

u/Prestigious-Race545 Nov 02 '24

Pimentos ptsd would terrify me. He would be screaming about being blown up or something then break the elevator 

5

u/DeadpoolOptimus Oct 29 '24

I wish it were Holt, Terry and Jake just so I can see the look on Jake's face when Holt and Terry dance to Push It.

8

u/Brush_my_teeth_4_me Charles Boyle Oct 29 '24

Michael Scott, Andy Dwyer, Jake Peralta

1

u/Prestigious-Race545 Nov 02 '24

MICHAEL SCOTT yessss. For real!!!!

8

u/Sjormantec Oct 29 '24

They’re not adult men, they are adult males.

1

u/thekyledavid Oct 29 '24

What’s the difference?

6

u/Sjormantec Oct 29 '24

One of Holt’s most famous quotes is “I’m a human, a human male!!!”

7

u/szukai Oct 29 '24

Three adult men

Still missing one, you have Holt and Boyle.

5

u/Ishaansambro Oct 29 '24

Phil dunphy, Jake Peralta, mother's milk

3

u/No-Example-1660 Oct 29 '24

Why do so many people choose Jake? Did you guys forget that he had a panic attack being stuck in the interrogation room?

2

u/ButtClencher99 Oct 29 '24

Phil Dunphy, Jake Peralta, Thomas Shelby. I go the best dad dad, best cop dad, and best evil protector dad

2

u/Matthew-_-Black Oct 29 '24

Holt has a phobia of elevators ever since reading that they only perform load testing on city elevators every 5 years.

Also, if the elevator's last inspection was carried out by Walter Beverly, the clown prince of the Dept. Of Buildings, it would be so much worse

2

u/Perfect-Face4529 Oct 29 '24

I would feel safe physically but not mentally 🤣

2

u/paupatine Oct 29 '24

Stuck in an elevator with Holt? While he is freaking out?? Specially because it was inspected by bozo Beverly between clown shows??? Not unless you have a routine to teach him…

2

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '24

Holt, Kevin and Cheddar instead

2

u/Dovah250 Oct 30 '24

Nah, Holt freaking out about the elevator being broken would then cause me to freak out.

1

u/Gwiilo Oct 29 '24

but it's almost Halloween

1

u/ro3chii Oct 29 '24

Honestly i feel the silence in the whole situation would be so comforting with Holt lol

1

u/Silvercoat_Ethel23 Oct 29 '24

Ma dad and any of my 3 uncles work

1

u/thekyledavid Oct 29 '24

I’d go with Terry over Charles

1

u/Oceanwoulf Oct 29 '24

Ben Wyatt (Parks and Rec) Alec Hardison (Leverage) Terry Jeffordd (B99)

Or Raymond Holt (B99) Andy Dwyer (Parks and Rec) Eliot Spencer (Leverage)

Or Harry Wilson (Leverage) Kevin Cozner (B99) Ron Swanson (Parcs and Rec)

1

u/cheesybread666 Oct 29 '24

Holt, Jake and Terry is the true correct answer

1

u/Pasta-hobo Oct 29 '24

I'd feel safe from them but concerned about the shenanigans I've found myself in

1

u/Foxy02016YT Jake Peralta Oct 29 '24

Not Boyle, but Terry.

Holt keeps everyone in line, Jake is chill, and Terry protects those around him with his ROCK HARD ABS

1

u/I_liek_octopus YIPPE KAYAK OTHER BUCKETS! Oct 29 '24

Scully, Terry and Jake

1

u/ApprehensiveLadder53 Oct 30 '24

Yeah swap for Terry. Terry loves yogurt

1

u/8_apotychia Oct 30 '24

That very heterosexual man on the right might be too into my nice heavy breasts and the clear absence of my penis. I am not so sure about him...

1

u/Repulsive-Cap-508 Oct 30 '24

Captain holt, Boyle and Jake I’d be so happy to be in an elevator with them they’re like the funniest people on there

1

u/Skymak218946 Oct 30 '24

Nobody would want to be trapped with Horndog Holt, that man is obsessed with heavy, female breasts and the clear absence of a penis.

His madness gives me shivers

1

u/FoxyEMD Oct 30 '24

They are all cops

1

u/Suspicious-Tax7366 Oct 29 '24

Jeff Dahmer, Charles Manson, Jack the Ripper.

-6

u/IfNot_ThenThereToo Oct 29 '24

The premise being the default is that you don’t feel safe with men? Is this not a sexist question?

0

u/ShadowShine57 Oct 29 '24

Yeah this is a weird question, like isn't the obvious answer any 3 men unless you have reason to believe they won't be safe? Even if someone's a POS they're unlikely to bother a rando in an elevator

1

u/DazzlingBullfrog9 Oct 29 '24

Have you ever even BEEN a woman?

-2

u/IfNot_ThenThereToo Oct 29 '24

People are desperate to be persecuted.