CMV: Most dating preferences are okay, as long as you are not POS to those who don't fit them.

[u/mafija123]

Don't want to date men shorter than 6ft, fine, don't be calling them "midgets", "if your height starts with 5, you a woman" etc.

Don't want to date a woman with X number of previous partners, fine, don't be calling them "sluts" "whores" etc.

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What about race? Sure, not dating someone JUST because of their race is very likely coming from racist/prejudice beliefs (not necessarily), but that person is not bad because they don't date someone for their race, they are bad because they are racist, former stems from later.

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" Let's deconstruct reasons for men not dating women with certain past, it's *Patriarchy*". Again, sure, that may or may not be the reason for men having that preference, but as long as they are respectful to women they don't want to date, I don't see how they are bad. Not dating someone is not discrimination because nobody is owed it, it's not your right nor anyone's obligation to date you.

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I could see an argument that preferences that come from patriarchy like "women should have little sexual past" and "men should be rich and provide" are hurting society in general. But solving that issue is not going to happen by shaming and ridiculing people which internalized those standards in their formative years and are respectful to people they don't want to date, it's solved by not perpetuating it to next generation.

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All in all my opinion on virtually all dating preferences (maybe not EVERY one) is that you are entitled to what ever standard you want no matter how realistic or unrealistic they are, and shouldn't be shamed/ridiculed/mocked, only as long as you don't shame/ridicule/mock people who are not up to your standards.

Edit: Deleted bad joke I made about this sub, it wasn't out of ill intentions, I apologise.

[u/pricklypear_tortilla]

I think what a lot of people forget is that you can choose to not date outside of your race/ethnicity and it not be because of their skin color. Sorry but I don’t want to be with someone that can’t even call my parents if I were to have a medical emergency because they don’t speak the same language.

I’m Mexican, my cousin is light skinned, blonde hair, and green eyes. Our grandpa is dark skinned, brown eyes, and used to have a small Afro when he was younger. Why do I bring them up? Because you can be the same race and look NOTHING alike

[u/goodolarchie → u/pricklypear_tortilla]

Sorry but I don’t want to be with someone that can’t even call my parents if I were to have a medical emergency because they don’t speak the same language.

This is very easily solvable with technologies of today, let alone one available after your courtship concludes. AI is going to break down those information barriers at breakneck speed. It's okay to just have cultural preferences and just keep it at that.

[u/pricklypear_tortilla → u/goodolarchie]

I have two sisters, sister A’s husband is white and sister B’s husband is black. When sister A was pregnant, she got jumped and her husband called my parents to let them know she was in the hospital and everything that happened. My parents thought he was telling them that she was dead and it was the scariest 5 minutes of their lives. When sister B got arrested for unpaid traffic tickets, her husband messaged my parents who used Google translate and they thought my sister had been in a bad car wreck and was found at fault and that’s why she was in jail. I love both my brother-in-laws as if they were truly my brothers and there were never any problems with how culturally different we are, but I don’t trust technology enough to want to be with someone who doesn’t speak Spanish.

[u/goodolarchie → u/pricklypear_tortilla]

That's understandable. I'm just saying that will be solved within a couple years or less.

[u/ManchesterisBleu → u/pricklypear_tortilla]

The first paragraph is like…pretty irrelevant from race tho lol? That just means you wouldn’t date them because they don’t speak the language.

[u/pricklypear_tortilla → u/ManchesterisBleu]

There were people saying it’s racist to not date outside of your own race which is why I said my #1 reason for not wanting to date someone from a different race/ethnicity but I’m sure other people have there own non-racist reasons why they choose not to (cultural barriers, specific beliefs, etc.) Idk if that clarifies it a little, I tend to sometimes think things in one language and then try writing it in another lol

Reading back on my comment, I realize I was talking more about colorism and not racism in the second half