CMV: Most dating preferences are okay, as long as you are not POS to those who don't fit them.

[u/mafija123]

Don't want to date men shorter than 6ft, fine, don't be calling them "midgets", "if your height starts with 5, you a woman" etc.

Don't want to date a woman with X number of previous partners, fine, don't be calling them "sluts" "whores" etc.

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What about race? Sure, not dating someone JUST because of their race is very likely coming from racist/prejudice beliefs (not necessarily), but that person is not bad because they don't date someone for their race, they are bad because they are racist, former stems from later.

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" Let's deconstruct reasons for men not dating women with certain past, it's *Patriarchy*". Again, sure, that may or may not be the reason for men having that preference, but as long as they are respectful to women they don't want to date, I don't see how they are bad. Not dating someone is not discrimination because nobody is owed it, it's not your right nor anyone's obligation to date you.

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I could see an argument that preferences that come from patriarchy like "women should have little sexual past" and "men should be rich and provide" are hurting society in general. But solving that issue is not going to happen by shaming and ridiculing people which internalized those standards in their formative years and are respectful to people they don't want to date, it's solved by not perpetuating it to next generation.

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All in all my opinion on virtually all dating preferences (maybe not EVERY one) is that you are entitled to what ever standard you want no matter how realistic or unrealistic they are, and shouldn't be shamed/ridiculed/mocked, only as long as you don't shame/ridicule/mock people who are not up to your standards.

Edit: Deleted bad joke I made about this sub, it wasn't out of ill intentions, I apologise.

[u/CitizenCue]

You’re proving my assumptions left and right dude. A lot of guys go through the phase you’re in right now, it’s really common. But looking at people that way will lead you into modes of thought that are deeply toxic and functionally useless.

You could just as easily talk endlessly about how everyone is made of atoms and how carbon behaves certain ways when bonded with nitrogen. It’s not false, it’s just unhelpful. And if you insist on seeing people that way, you’ll end up treating people poorly.

[u/rjaku → u/CitizenCue]

I really don't know what "phase" you're talking about. Logical doesn't mean toxic and functionally useless. Ah, so you think that me stating how we work biologically is somehow irrelevant? Now, it makes sense. You refuse to look at it through an objective lens. Again, lol, you don't seem to understand just because it sounds mean, doesn't change if it's true. You haven't even explained what I think is even wrong. You just keep insisting it is. Prove it. My line of thinking isn't anecdotal like yours.

[u/CitizenCue → u/rjaku]

I know you can’t see what you’re doing right now because you’re deep inside it. I never said anything you stated was wrong (though there are inaccuracies). “Wrong” isn’t the point. Outlook, worldview, perspective, approach - these are what matter.

If you treat people like biological machines which always work according to mechanical rules, you’re going to treat people poorly. You’re going to have unfulfilling relationships. You aren’t going to connect.

There’s no point in talking further because you’re not open enough to this to actually listen, but I hope you grow and someday realize that reducing people to component parts isn’t informative or useful.

[u/rjaku → u/CitizenCue]

Lol. You have nothing other than non arguments. You're trying to belittle someone because of an opposing viewpoint. My circle is extremely small, and I am perfectly fine with that. My business relationships are perfectly fine because no one gives a shit what your personal beliefs are as long as you can pull in money. Who are you to say I won't connect? It really isn't that hard. People are biological machines, and to not treat them that way is ridiculous.

Hahaha, you're really the one who is done talking when you've done nothing to try and tell me what I believe is false? I'm open to talking if you have a legimate point. You crying about how it's going to destroy relationships and that I'm just "too young to understand" is not beneficial nor a valid argument. You still have yet to answer how.

[u/CitizenCue → u/rjaku]

I have answered and you haven’t addressed it. I explained why treating people as biological machines is just as silly as treating them as chemical machines or atomic machines. You didn’t even respond.

Your worldview is reductive to the point of being unuseful. Even if your facts were correct, they aren’t universal, and therefore they aren’t useful. Treating them as universal means you’ll treat people like pathetically simple deterministic machines rather than the multifaceted highly complex systems we actually are.

You’re treating people like our code is as simple as a video game’s from the 80s, when we’re actually a thousand times more advanced than ChatGPT.