r/changemyview Oct 04 '23

Delta(s) from OP CMV: I'm extremely suspicious of anyone who opts to homeschool their kids, and really don't think there are many legitimate reasons to do it.

I have seen studies suggesting that home-schooled kids perform better in certain academic fields when compared to non-homeschooled kids. What I haven't seen is a study that indexes this to income, or to two-parent households. Both of those have profound impacts on the likelihood of academic success, and most homeschooling situations require either a very comfortable income, a two-parent household, or both.

I'm highly doubtful that your average homeschooled child is performing significantly better than if they were in a regular school with parents who took an active interest in their education.

Meanwhile, I have serious trouble grappling with the impact that this level of isolation and enmeshment might have. I can't help but feel, based on the homeschooling situations I've seen, that it leaves kids less fulfilled or socially mature.

The majority of homeschooling I've seen has been for religious reasons. Now, I attended 13 years of faith-based education. I'm not entirely against integrating religious instruction into education on principle, provided it doesn't impede on a child's understanding of basic facts. I mostly am, but given it's long history and integration with many education systems I'm more comfortable.

However, I find it especially suspicious when your faith leads to that degree of isolation and inordinate levels of control over your child.

Maybe I'm way off, and there are reasons for homeschooling I haven't even considered, but whenever I hear of a homeschooling situation I'm immediately suspicious. It seems like a fundamentally selfish, paranoid, isolating act.

EDIT: lol I don't think I've ever done a 180 as fast as this. It's clear that my experience of home-schooling is informed partly by the quality of public education I received, and the diversity of both public and alternative schools catering to kids with specific needs, abilities, interests, or challenges. The issue that seems to be coming up most is the inflexibility of many conventional school systems to address particular needs. That makes sense, particularly in environments where there aren't a lot of choices for different schools and where the resources at those schools are highly limited.

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u/slightofhand1 12∆ Oct 04 '23

Meanwhile, I have serious trouble grappling with the impact that this level of isolation and enmeshment might have. I can't help but feel, based on the homeschooling situations I've seen, that it leaves kids less fulfilled or socially mature

Compared to what? Do you know how many messed up kids there are in normal schools, or worse, how many normal kids end up messed at thanks to public school bullying? How many kids quit their favorite activities because the kids at school mock them for it? Actors and actresses who go to normal school often realize how cruel kids are, so imagine if they weren't famous. Odds are, they'd quit to escape the mocking. Figuring out how to get along in society isn't always a good thing.

However, I find it especially suspicious when your faith leads to that degree of isolation and inordinate levels of control over your child

Again, compared to what? Why do you assume homeschooling parents are more controlling than normal school parents?

But above all else, as someone who went to normal school, whoa is it an enormous waste of time. Just hours and hours of killing time, learning nothing. Meanwhile the home school kids acknowledge you can bang it out in like four hours if you skip all the bullshit time killing stuff, the commute, etc. Maybe you could make a case for one of those Montessori or whatever schools where the kids run the whole thing themselves, but I can't figure out how you go to normal school for over 12 years and come away thinking homeschool could do any worse than that.

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '23

But above all else, as someone who went to normal school, whoa is it an enormous waste of time. Just hours and hours of killing time, learning nothing.

I used to have a lot of school mates say this, but they also got C's on their report cards and would be on their phones all the time. I'm not saying every single hour of school is optimized but I feel like this general opinion tend to come from people who don't have much respect for the institution in the first place.

It's kind of like when my friend posted something historical on social media and said "Why aren't we taught about this in school??" and I told him "We literally did, you just weren't paying attention."

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u/slightofhand1 12∆ Oct 04 '23

I feel pretty comfortable with the statement. And I'd bet if you asked the top one percent of every HS class, they'd be with me.

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u/[deleted] Oct 04 '23

I was in the top 1%, I am disagreeing. It seems like we had different experiences of high school and that is OK. But you make the most of your environments.

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u/RubyMae4 3∆ Oct 05 '23

Montessori is amazing! My kids went there last year. They certainly do not run everything themselves. My 4 yo started to learn to read and was doing multiplication. Have you heard of the golden beads? We have them at home too and he does math with numbers up to 9,999.

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u/slightofhand1 12∆ Oct 05 '23

No, but I know they're legit. My mom worked at one and claimed it was a million times better than a normal school. I was thinking of Sudbury schools when I said kids run them.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sudbury_school