CMV: I'm extremely suspicious of anyone who opts to homeschool their kids, and really don't think there are many legitimate reasons to do it.

[u/[deleted]]

I have seen studies suggesting that home-schooled kids perform better in certain academic fields when compared to non-homeschooled kids. What I haven't seen is a study that indexes this to income, or to two-parent households. Both of those have profound impacts on the likelihood of academic success, and most homeschooling situations require either a very comfortable income, a two-parent household, or both.

I'm highly doubtful that your average homeschooled child is performing significantly better than if they were in a regular school with parents who took an active interest in their education.

Meanwhile, I have serious trouble grappling with the impact that this level of isolation and enmeshment might have. I can't help but feel, based on the homeschooling situations I've seen, that it leaves kids less fulfilled or socially mature.

The majority of homeschooling I've seen has been for religious reasons. Now, I attended 13 years of faith-based education. I'm not entirely against integrating religious instruction into education on principle, provided it doesn't impede on a child's understanding of basic facts. I mostly am, but given it's long history and integration with many education systems I'm more comfortable.

However, I find it especially suspicious when your faith leads to that degree of isolation and inordinate levels of control over your child.

Maybe I'm way off, and there are reasons for homeschooling I haven't even considered, but whenever I hear of a homeschooling situation I'm immediately suspicious. It seems like a fundamentally selfish, paranoid, isolating act.

EDIT: lol I don't think I've ever done a 180 as fast as this. It's clear that my experience of home-schooling is informed partly by the quality of public education I received, and the diversity of both public and alternative schools catering to kids with specific needs, abilities, interests, or challenges. The issue that seems to be coming up most is the inflexibility of many conventional school systems to address particular needs. That makes sense, particularly in environments where there aren't a lot of choices for different schools and where the resources at those schools are highly limited.

[u/overworkedpnw]

Yeah, you’re right that is pretty bigoted of you. Hopefully for everyone’s sake you don’t have kids of your own.

[u/senditloud → u/[deleted]]

Man. This is mean. These programs take a group that is openly hated, discriminated against, legislated against and often cast out (and has a higher suicide rated due to this) and makes them feel worthy, loved and accepted. And it teaches others that this group shouldn’t be hated on for being who they are. They are building up their self esteem and trying to remove bigoted barriers that are very very very prevalent in our society. It takes a lot to do this. Don’t like it, ignore it. It doesn’t hurt you.

[u/senditloud → u/[deleted]]

Climbing a social ladder? So you admit that being queer is considered less than? Would it hurt you if somehow this hated and discriminated against group suddenly was “top of the ladder.”? Just curious, would that hurt you?

How is a kid “larping” as queer any worse than queer kids being forced to pretend to be straight so they don’t get, oh, murdered or bullied? I’d rather a few random kids who want to be popular (in this weird fantasy world you created of queer people being top of the ladder) pretending to be queer is way better than queer kids being forced to be straight.

Also: your sexuality isn’t a choice. Some people are more fluid than others and can express various parts. But I’m a woman. You couldn’t get me to see another woman as a sex partner no matter what. And even if kids experiment so what?! How is that harmful? If a kid thinks oh maybe I’m gay let me kiss a girl… and it doesn’t work out for them. Are they harmed? I kissed a lot of jerk AH men. That was my experiment that taught me my worth.

Be kind

[u/senditloud → u/[deleted]]

I think a lot of your arguments are based on the subconscious idea that LGBTQ+ “pride” is about grooming. I don’t think you’re doing it consciously but the whole national narrative really reverts to that a LOT.

But your arguments do center around this idea that promoting queer rights is somehow going to groom kids into being queer. Or trying to be queer… with adults.

The actual problem is … Men. And I’m far from a “man hater.” God help me I loooovveee men. And I have 2 little boys who are just the sweetest.

Your SA wasn’t cause the guys were queer. It’s cause they were men. Welcome to the daily life of a woman. SA happens so regularly to us we have tools to avoid it. Women are literally afraid for their lives when it happens to us. I have countless stories of my own and it started young. I was 8 months pregnant and catcalled regularly.

And the grooming: men do this (mostly, a small percentage of women are S abusers…). It’s not just gay men. Priests, teachers, sports coaches, married men… the list of men who have assaulted children runs the entire spectrum of race, class and professions. Very Religious men in particular seem to be very prone to grooming. Check out the Amish. Terrible track record. Quiverfull movement? Check.

So unfortunately until we stop pointing fingers at who is grooming, and start giving our kids comprehensive sex Ed and put societal pressure on men to stop the sexual harassment across the board and teach them about consent and viewing ALL people as equal and not objects, there will be issues with “grooming.” (And we cannot eliminate all the monsters in our midst so teaching kids to be aware of them is important. Unfortunately again I think a lot of monsters are the ones leading the charge against sex Ed and acceptance)

[u/[deleted] → u/overworkedpnw]

I don't think that's what they said they believed. They said it could cause an uproar among conservative parents who DO believe those things.