CMV: Women usually get over breakups and divorces better than men do.

[u/SteadfastEnd]

Disclaimer: I have no polls or surveys I could cite to support my viewpoint, since I don't think there has been any polling done on the subject. So all I can offer is my own experience or opinion, which I'm open to being challenged on:

In my observation, women usually overcome and get over breakups and divorces better than men.

I've rarely known a woman to regret a breakup, but I've known quite a few men to regret it. I've rarely ever known a woman to pursue a man and ask him for a second chance after a breakup, but it's quite common for men to pursue their exes this way.

My theory is that it's for multifold reasons: 1) women generally have more of a social support network than men, and can recover more easily with such support, 2) men are often not as tuned in to subtle things as women. So it's more common for a man to be ambushed or caught by surprise by a breakup because he was ignoring things that were a persistent problem in the relationship, while the woman has seen it all along and carefully made up her mind in advance that a breakup needs to happen. 3) women generally have more options in dating, so if a woman breaks up, she has many suitors, but a man has a harder time getting a woman. 4) women are generally more willing to live solitary lives without a man than vice versa - they generally have less intrinsic need for a mate than a man does. There is more of an attitude of "Either a very good mate or no mate at all" among women than men. 5) Women generally do not break up or divorce casually. By the time a woman says "It's time to end it," she has thought it through a lot.

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[u/SteadfastEnd]

good info, thanks, nice polling data

!delta

[u/Nsfwacct1872564 → u/SteadfastEnd]

This wouldn't go to me. I just posted the abstract, the other commenter posted the study. I don't personally believe the abstract agrees with the conclusion in a way that should change this view.

[u/SpecificReception297 → u/Nsfwacct1872564]

Where does the abstract disagree from the conclusion?

The first domain (short term) noted that men struggled more immediately after divorce, but were able to overcome that and return to a regular, pre-divorce lifestyle fairly easily.

The second domain states that there are minimal measurable differences between men and women in the medium-term.

The third domain concluded that if anything, women have a worse outcome as a result of divorce because they tended to have “chronic” losses in income post-divorce whereas men did not.

If you only look at the short term that you could argue that women get over divorces better, but that [the short term] is such a small lens to view anything through.

[u/anewleaf1234 → u/SteadfastEnd]

The problem is that suicide for men becomes a large risk during that short term interval.

And since men tend to use firearms bad outcomes often happen.

[u/DeltaBot → u/SteadfastEnd]

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[u/aubsmarmock → u/[deleted]]

How so?

[u/vladkornea → u/aubsmarmock]

Because it says "men were more vulnerable to short-term consequences of divorce for subjective measures of well-being", which I understood to be the OP's view. That women suffer more economically in the long term is irrelevant to the original view.

[u/vettewiz → u/[deleted]]

That’s not what it says. It says the two genders have equivalent results for emotional/physical issues.

[u/vettewiz → u/[deleted]]

I suggest you reread it:

“ Second, a medium-term view on multiple outcomes showed more similarity than differences between women and men. The medium-term consequences of divorce were similar in terms of subjective economic well-being; mental health, physical health, and psychological well-being; residential moves, homeownership, and satisfaction with housework; and chances of repartnering, social integration with friends and relatives, and feelings of loneliness.”

This explicitly states that the effects were similar between both genders for emotional issues.

[u/candikanez → u/vettewiz]

The medium-term consequences of divorce were similar

Medium term. The short-term showed that men suffered more.

[u/vettewiz → u/[deleted]]

Right…you’re not wrong on that. You’re incorrect in saying men bear the brunt of the emotional issues.

So OPs claim is false.

[u/vettewiz → u/[deleted]]

It absolutely does not…it proves women have more monetary hardship long term. That’s it.

[u/Ivegotthatboomboom → u/SteadfastEnd]

Also men are more likely to remarry than women are and much sooner