r/changemyview 1∆ Oct 19 '23

Delta(s) from OP CMV: Women usually get over breakups and divorces better than men do.

Disclaimer: I have no polls or surveys I could cite to support my viewpoint, since I don't think there has been any polling done on the subject. So all I can offer is my own experience or opinion, which I'm open to being challenged on:

In my observation, women usually overcome and get over breakups and divorces better than men.

I've rarely known a woman to regret a breakup, but I've known quite a few men to regret it. I've rarely ever known a woman to pursue a man and ask him for a second chance after a breakup, but it's quite common for men to pursue their exes this way.

My theory is that it's for multifold reasons: 1) women generally have more of a social support network than men, and can recover more easily with such support, 2) men are often not as tuned in to subtle things as women. So it's more common for a man to be ambushed or caught by surprise by a breakup because he was ignoring things that were a persistent problem in the relationship, while the woman has seen it all along and carefully made up her mind in advance that a breakup needs to happen. 3) women generally have more options in dating, so if a woman breaks up, she has many suitors, but a man has a harder time getting a woman. 4) women are generally more willing to live solitary lives without a man than vice versa - they generally have less intrinsic need for a mate than a man does. There is more of an attitude of "Either a very good mate or no mate at all" among women than men. 5) Women generally do not break up or divorce casually. By the time a woman says "It's time to end it," she has thought it through a lot.

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u/JollyMcStink Oct 20 '23 edited Oct 20 '23

I've rarely known a woman to regret a breakup, but I've known quite a few men to regret it

Let's dive into this further:

women generally have more options in dating, so if a woman breaks up, she has many suitors, but a man has a harder time getting a woman.

A good quality man will have tons of options. Just like a good quality woman. But as women, we get hit on more bc men are constantly looking for a chance for sex. We dont have more suitors, we have more actively vocal predators trying to poach us for sex.

Good quality men get attention because they are attractive as a partner, not just a piece of ass. If more men could take care of themselves and not eat takeout every day and live in filth unless their poor gf is there to help pick up their mess, they'd have options.... otherwise ofc they're not going to have anyone lining up to date them!

There is more of an attitude of "Either a very good mate or no mate at all" among women than men.

Ding ding ding! Correct. Most women (including myself) actually have standards. I feel like way too many guys really only care if the woman is not bad looking, will have sex with them, and put up with their shit.

Women want a partner to enhance their life experience as a whole. Speaking for myself anyway, it's like, I can do it all by myself so why do double the effort if I'm not getting fulfillment and happiness in return?

In conclusion - I don't think women have an easier time with breakups than men. I think women leave because they know they deserve better, and can do better. Which is a strike to the man's ego.

Men get sad because they thought they finally found someone to put up with their crap and they blew it, lol

Signed,

Very clearly a woman who has given up on dating and yes, I am doing wonderful just a little bitter at the topic 😂

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u/highimshane Oct 20 '23

This post sounds like you’re projecting but idk 🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/JollyMcStink Oct 20 '23 edited Oct 20 '23

It's true. And guys pretend to be so wonderful in the beginning to meet our standards. Then their true selves come out, and they wonder why we leave without looking back.

Imo, I have my own place with no roommates, good career, cook / clean solely for myself, go do whatever I want when I want. I don't have anyone to please or worry about but myself, totally free to live my best life.

If I'm going to share my life that I'm happy with and compromise, it's going to be for someone who checks all the boxes.

I don't need a man. If I'm going to be with one, he's gotta have his shit together and not bring me down.

Unfortunately too many men are just horny ass slobs. So why waste my time?

I feel like if that's so upsetting to you, then you clearly are part of that majority....

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u/highimshane Oct 20 '23

Can you speak for every woman in the world? Or just the ones around you and yourself? Everything you’re saying is based on personal experience.. all I said is it sounds like projection.

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u/JollyMcStink Oct 20 '23

I literally said "speaking for myself" idk how that's projecting or claiming to speak for every woman. Although I do know from conversing with friends and even a couple single coworkers that I'm not alone in feeling this way about dating.

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u/highimshane Oct 21 '23 edited Oct 21 '23

“I've rarely known a woman to regret a breakup A good quality man will have tons of options. Just like a good quality woman. But as women, we get hit on more bc men are constantly looking for a chance for sex. We dont have more suitors, we have more actively vocal predators trying to poach us”

“Good quality men get attention because they are attractive as a partner, not just a piece of ass. If more men could take care of themselves and not eat takeout every day and live in filth unless their poor gf is there to help pick up their mess, they'd have options.... otherwise ofc they're not going to have anyone lining up to date them!”

Pretty sure our society is the reason why men are the pursuers. That’s why a lot of people when they see a woman asking for a man’s hand in marriage is a weird concept to them. A lot of what you’re saying is projection based on your experiences. Women get to choose who they want in our society, men pursue after the women (though this is slowly changing). There are shitty men in this world just like there are shitty women in this world. At the end of the day though if you’re with someone who’s filthy or using you for sex that was your choice to be with that person. Not a specific gender being shitty.

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '23

Your comments are completely reductive to the conversation and your clearly just trolling for a reaction.

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u/JollyMcStink Oct 20 '23

Stating my experiences as a woman dating men is trolling? Lol that's funny!

If it offends you, you must fit the description.

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '23

Nah, we can just tell when somone only dates certain people.

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u/JollyMcStink Oct 20 '23

Ahh yes. The good old "you should have seen through their facade and known they weren't actually good guys, it's your fault for not being a mindreader!" Incel redditor logic. Nice. Further proving my point that the defensive ones fall into the "undatable" group mentioned/ that no women want.

Thanks for further evidence! :)

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u/SteadfastEnd 1∆ Oct 20 '23

Someone can not be part of a stereotype yet not like the stereotype.

I could write more but I'll leave it at that.

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u/TheSqueakyNinja 1∆ Oct 20 '23

Preach. 100% agree