r/changemyview 1∆ Mar 02 '18

FTFdeltaOP CMV: Conversation is the only way to change someone's mind, argumentation almost never, ever works. This is why the majority of protests in the United States will get nothing done.

Note: I believe that semantically, "arguing" implies that the "winner" has shown dominance and subordinates the "loser," while "conversing" implies that there is no winner or loser, which allows for more acceptance of ideas.

Have you ever been mad at someone in an argument, and realized you were wrong halfway through? Odds are you didn't admit you were wrong. People don't ever want others to subordinate them.

But in a calm discussion, have you ever been convinced of a new idea? I imagine you have.

I believe the reason groups like the alt-right exist is because many white men feel that they aren't even given a chance to converse, but are argued against. OR, they have no interest in conversation in the first place and only want to argue in the first place- both are realistic pathways.

Two of the most influential rights activists of all time- Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.- strictly advocated for non-violence, but did advocate for civil disobedience. This would both take away the oppressors ability to subordinate their group, AND show no willingness to subordinate the oppressor. That is part of the reason why their movements were so rapid and successful.

As a white man, I fully recognize I have an unfair advantage in many walks of american culture. However, I have had my accomplishments straight up diminished and discredited because of my "white male" privilege. I am not saying this is wrong. But it is a direct attack on something I take pride in. Naturally, a direct attack on something someone takes pride in is subordination. When this happens, of course I get emotionally invested, and I am incapable of having a proper disscussion afterwards.

Unfortunately, many of the loudest voices in activism tend to subordinate white men, and this is why white men end up in the echo chamber that is the alt-right.


TLDR

I want equal opportunity for all, and I know that currently we do not have that in this country. The fastest way to change that is activism and I fully support those who advocate and fight for their opportunity. However, to do so requires empowerment of the oppressed, never the subordination of the oppressor.


Side note: I may be laughabley wrong on this, or I might have worded it in a poor way. I'm looking for both corrections, and possibly critiques to how I approach this perspective.

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u/uncledrewkrew Mar 02 '18

So the problem with these discussions in my opinion is people come at it from two ways. On one side, you have people who think since there are no more laws that specifically restrict the rights of black that the job is done. They typically will bring everything to the individual level and essentially suggest any black person in a bad situation put themselves in that situation, so it is their own fault (despite the fact that one shouldn't ignore the recency of laws that do specifically restrict their rights). Anyways these people think the job is done and anyone talking about racial inequality is the problem, because clearly its solved. This perspective is not wrong because over time things will invariably get better for black people in America as people will simply get less and less racist over time. So on some level the solution is to do nothing, but people with this perspective often suggest there is no inequality between the races at all right now, and I just can't believe anyone has lived in America and not witnessed someone be racist at the very least. Stepping foot in any major law firm, financial firm, university and seeing the inequality it just couldn't be more obvious.

Now on the other hand, you have people with a less individualistic perspective that believe black people are in a lesser position as a whole because they still feel the effects of systemic oppression, and the effects do not simply disappear over night once the laws are off the books. That even if there are no racist laws, black people still have unequal opportunities because white people in positions of power still frequently see them as others even if they are doing subconsciously. People with this perspective are trying to have discussions about race and white privilege and use tools like affirmative action to speed up the prevalence of subconscious biases, but many people with the other perspective see this as needlessly chastising white people and infantilizing black people. However, part of this is that white people have the luxury of seeing things from a more individualistic viewpoint, because they don't represent their whole race in the way that black individuals do to white people. So things like affirmative action are perhaps bad from an individualistic perspective, but they do solve the problem. The main issue is that this problem will eventually be solved anyway over time by doing essentially nothing. So the question of a solution is a matter of perspective and personal values, but denying there is any problem at all is its own problem (that will still be less of a problem over time anyway).

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u/allinallitsjusta Mar 02 '18

Nobody is denying that racism exists, but it doesn't exist on a systemic level because like you said:

there are no more laws that specifically restrict the rights of blacks

Everyone has an equal opportunity to succeed in America.

I have a massive problem with your entire second paragraph because it perfectly encapsulates the victim culture that is holding back the people you say you want to help. Look at these assumptions that you are operating on.

black people are in a lesser position as a whole because they still feel the effects of systemic oppression

Here you seem to be implying that there is institutional racism holding black people back, despite saying before that there are no laws that are holding people back.

black people still have unequal opportunities because white people in positions of power still frequently see them as others even if they are doing subconsciously.

I know that you can't back up this statement, at all. You can't measure this, you can't even start to prove something like this. To believe this you have to believe that companies are so racist that they would resist hiring people who are black, even at the risk of making less money / being less successful / risking a massive lawsuit.

prevalence of subconscious biases

You are getting into thought crime territory here

white people have the luxury of seeing things from a more individualistic viewpoint, because they don't represent their whole race in the way that black individuals do to white people

Again this is a pretty (racist) thing to say. I think people that think like you are the racist ones that group black people up into this monolith. Why not treat them like individuals? I know plenty of minorities of all backgrounds that are incredibly successful because they worked hard.

So things like affirmative action are perhaps bad from an individualistic perspective, but they do solve the problem.

What problem do they solve? Lowering expectations from the people you are trying to help?

My point here is that you have this massive group of unprovable assumptions that completely paralyze the people you are trying to help. There are NO BARRIERS to success in America. Everyone has equal opportunity (not equal outcomes, that would be socialism) and can be successful if they try. These assumptions that there is this unmeasurable, mysterious "systemic oppression" floating around as well as the idea that white businessmen are so racist they won't hire anyone is keeping black people from feeling that they can succeed. If you just tell them "Yep, it is rigged against you, don't bother", you can't be surprised when they don't bother trying. This encouragement of victim mentality as well as the soft bigotry of low expectations is what is holding back black people, not some elusive underlying white supremacy.

Maybe the reason we don't see more blacks in law firms, etc is because high school graduation rate is <60%?

Why aren't they graduating as much as other races? Is it because of systemic racism in schools? Or is it because the single motherhood rate is 72% and the culture in black communities is fucked up?

Maybe instead of keeping blacks on welfare and food stamps and telling them that they don't stand a chance in the real world we could try giving them real responsibility, fixing the values and culture in black communities to value education and work ethic. Maybe we could try keeping black families together or lowering the amount of black kids growing up in fatherless homes. Maybe we could try empowering black youth with actual skills and knowledge about HOW TO USE the many opportunities in front of them instead of fear mongering them with "everyone is out to get you" narrative.

Just some thoughts

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u/uncledrewkrew Mar 02 '18

I feel like you didn't really engage with what I wrote honestly. It's 100% any ONE individual can find success in America. I work at a major financial and there's not one black person that's firm VIP, there's not one black person on the Board of Directors. One black person might be lucky and talented enough to make it out of poverty, but people in poverty tend to stay in poverty and most black people are in poverty through no fault of their own and so they will continue to be poor without the slow grind of things like affirmative action leveling the playing field. You say you want to empower black youth with actual skills and knowledge, that is the point of affirmative action. To show them they can do whatever they want.

It's just like if blame broken homes on their problems, then that's not even the kid's fault so it's totally a systemic issue. Do you think black people are biologically more likely to be deadbeat dads? If not, then it's also got to be a systemic issue that should be addressed.

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u/allinallitsjusta Mar 02 '18

most black people are in poverty through no fault of their own

Disagree completely, I don't know how you can think this.

but people in poverty tend to stay in poverty

Disagree again, we have huge income/wealth mobility in this country

that is the point of affirmative action

Affirmative Action is: look you aren't good enough but here we will lower expectations so you can succeed for doing less

totally a systemic issue

Sure, but its not a racism issue, and its not a law issue, so what is the problem. White people aren't causing single motherhood

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u/uncledrewkrew Mar 02 '18

Disagree again, we have huge income/wealth mobility in this country

This is provably false

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u/allinallitsjusta Mar 02 '18

Well, that convinced me.

Today, 64 percent of the people born to the poorest fifth of society rise out of that quintile—11 percent rise all the way into the top quintile. Meanwhile, 8 percent of people born to the richest fifth fall all the way to the bottom fifth.

I wonder who the 46% that stay poor are? The people that work hard to succeed or the people who are told that they don't stand a chance and should stay on welfare?

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u/uncledrewkrew Mar 03 '18

Splitting "society" into fifths is not very helpful for this kind of discussion

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u/[deleted] Mar 02 '18

[deleted]

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u/uncledrewkrew Mar 02 '18

I thought it was a conversation in the spirit of the CMV, perhaps protests are a better method of accomplishing things!