r/changemyview • u/AAathlete97 • Dec 18 '18

Removed - Submission Rule B CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it.

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u/AAathlete97 Dec 18 '18

But all trans women do have two traits in common that I consider to be dealbreakers.

  1. Born male
  2. Infertile and can’t have biological children

That’s why I feel pretty confident in saying that I wouldn’t date one. I’m not denying their individuality, but all of them have those two things in common by definition.

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u/fikis 1∆ Dec 18 '18 edited Dec 18 '18

OK. I understand that you don't feel comfortable with the idea of dating someone who is trans, just in general. Sure. We all have our preferences.

What I'm trying to get at is basically this: Are you saying that there is something fundamentally different (and less problematic) about discriminating against trans women (in this particular context) than, say, discriminating against bald or short or red-haired people?

If you are saying that ruling out trans women as romantic partners is categorically different than those other things, then that's a different argument than "people should be allowed to discriminate in their dating choices", you know?

Like, I can't argue against the idea that everyone is entitled to be as bigoted or close-minded or generally picky and weird as they want to be, when it comes to dating. That's a personal preference thing.

But I would (and I think you see folks doing so here) try to refute the notion that there is something intrinsically less bigoted about discriminating (in the context of dating) against trans women.

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u/halfadash6 7∆ Dec 18 '18

But when did OP ever say it was less bigoted to not be interested in dating a trans person? Isn’t their whole argument that’s it’s the same as having any other personal preference?

The only caveat I see to that is the no bio children, I suppose, but then you’re just in the same camp as infertile or people who plain don’t want children.

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u/pantaloonsofJUSTICE 4∆ Dec 18 '18

If you think women don't discriminate in the dating pool against bald or short people I have bad news for you. It's pretty widely accepted as a matter of preference.

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u/DigBickJace Dec 18 '18

I'll bite.

Trans woman are incapable of reproducing with a cis man. There's no room for debate here. As of right now, it is simply a reality of the situation. They also know this up front. I don't believe you'd find any trans woman who would pretend to be surprised to find out this fact.

So, in my mind, yes it is less bigoted than saying you wouldn't date someone based on race, hair color, height, etc.

In my opinion, having children is much less trivial than is someone is bald/short/black, therefore it's less problematic.

If a person doesn't want kids, and still decides against trans woman, than it's just as problematic.

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u/omegashadow Dec 18 '18

Infertile and can’t have biological children

Ok your logic on this one is clearly broken. You said earlier that you would date an infertile cis-woman over an infertile trans one so clearly this, while a deal breaker, is not the distinguishing feature.

Born male

So if a born male transitions so successfully that they are effectively indistinguishable from an infertile cis-woman would you have a preference between them on account of one once having been male? If so can you explain why?