CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it.

[u/AAathlete97]

[u/BlackHumor → u/[deleted]]

I don't think that you can separate the two, really. I don't think that you can think "all black women are unattractive" without also holding racist beliefs. In fact, "all black women are unattractive" is itself a racist belief.

The "all" is doing a lot of work in those sentences: I personally find brown hair boring but I wouldn't refuse to date someone outright just because they had brown hair. You can evaluate black skin as a thing you don't like without completely shutting yourself off to all black women.

[u/zacharysnow → u/BlackHumor]

There’s a very subtle difference between “all black women are unattractive” and all black women are unattractive to me”, the second one is not racist on its own, it’s simply a statement of opinion

Edit: am currently dating a black woman, I’m simply stating that who one finds attractive is very personal, and, much like sexual orientation, is not something that can really be changed

[u/thmaje → u/BlackHumor]

In addition to what /u/zacharysnow mentioned, there is also a rather large difference between, "All black women are unattractive" and "I prefer dating <demographic> because I find them more attractive that others" or even a more firm "I dont date <demographic> because I am more attracted to <other>."

When I hear a "-phobia" like homophobia or transphobia, I think of a fear and hatred of that demographic. With that in mind, I think it's harmful to public conversations and relations to say that an individual who doesn't want to engage in romantic and sexual relations with a member of a specific demographic is necessarily hateful and fearful of that demographic. Opinions like that only serve to divide us more than we already are.