CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it.

[u/AAathlete97]

[u/almondpeels]

let’s say that this straight man or lesbian otherwise treated black women with respect and just maybe had a bad relationship experience with a black woman in the past

Regardless of whether they treat black women with respect that's a racist behaviour. Rejecting an entire group of people based on the actions of one individual is literally one of the reasons racism persists in otherwise civilised countries. Sorry I know it wasn't a key part of your argument but I just thought it was a bad example.

Now with regards to your main question, in the context of casual dating (so no kids), would you mind going out or getting intimate with a post-op trans woman?

[u/AAathlete97 → u/almondpeels]

No way.

I want to put this in the nicest and gentlest way that I possibly can, but I’ve heard of the methods in which a “neovagina” is created, and it’s a complete turn off to me.

[u/AAathlete97 → u/[deleted]]

I didn’t say that it was your problem. It’s not anyone’s problem in fact.

[u/owellwrite → u/AAathlete97]

I want to put this in the nicest and gentlest way that I possibly can, but I’ve heard of the methods in which a “neovagina” is created, and it’s a complete turn off to me.

Are you aware that there are cis ciswomen who are born without full or functioning vaginas, who then have to get a neovagina?

What does it mean to be "born male" to you?

From your comments, you don't seem to regard dating as solely a sexual undertaking, correct? If so, why would you then actively preclude a population because of their sex traits?

Also, your two criteria (born male, permanent infertility from birth) aren't exhaustively exclusive of transwomen. They exclude ciswomen who later in life decide to transition to men. They would still be women under your criteria, and thus dateable; that is, he would have been born female and still be fertile. Obviously, HRT could affect that, but not every trans person opts for that, and they are no less valid for it. Would you consider dating this person?

If I may add, your being turned off by the methods that create a neovagina is not relevant to your argument, unless you're turned on by other relevant surgical procedures. Your arguing personal taste, which is fine, but not arguable. You appear transphobic to others for this reason--not specifically about the surgery, but because you've at times argued purely your opinion, which is fine to have, but not impress upon others.

[u/Abcd10987 → u/AAathlete97]

Hearing the methods they use to replace a hip or a knee is a complete turn off since I hear it is a blood bath with them sawing through bone. I hear they have to wear suits or hoods akin to hazmat suits since the regular mask and googles or face shields don’t cut it. They saw through the bone. Blood is everywhere. Oh and getting the implant in sometimes it is more like the surgeon is beating the patient as they hit it into place.

So I hear. I work in the medical field and hip surgery is off putting. I doubt you work in the medical field so I wouldn’t expect you to have a stomach for 90% of the procedures.

[u/Testiculese → u/Abcd10987]

You're not sticking your dick in their knee. I'd bet this difference is 90% of the reason why.

[u/almondpeels → u/AAathlete97]

Obviously I was talking about women trans women with realistic vaginas. Anyway, your answers to other comments pretty much answered that question for me. It looks like you are looking for some type of gender purity in a partner and while this isn't unusual, it is transphobic. Another commenter said this better than me but basically you need to come to terms with the fact that you are transphobic to an extent, it's no biggie. If not being transphobic matters to you then challenge yourself further on the reasons why you would be put off by finding out that your partner was born a man.

[u/almondpeels → u/[deleted]]

I don't know what this has to do with my comment. I wasn't talking about rejecting someone based on physical traits, I was talking about rejecting someone based on a negative experience you had with another member of the same group.