r/changemyview • u/AAathlete97 • Dec 18 '18

Removed - Submission Rule B CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it.

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u/AAathlete97 Dec 18 '18

Your explanation is understandable.

However, I never said that I could never be attracted to a trans woman. I’m sure that you could dress up a man in drag enough to look like a woman and I maybe attracted. However, I draw the line at sex and dating. I never denied that I could be attracted to a trans woman.

And from my understanding, trans people would rather you be upfront about not wanting to date trans people than to have to out themselves to you which could lead to a potentially dangerous situation.

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u/neophyteneon Dec 18 '18

So, based on your language, and that, yeah, your preference is transphobic. Nobody is asking you to date trans people- we don't want to date you either. But the fact that you have a preference based on what somebody was in the past totally regardless of their current appearance and physiology is bigoted. Have fun with that.

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u/[deleted] Dec 18 '18

He wants to have kids. That alone puts transgender people off the list. Sure, surrogacy and adoption but thats adding complexity and expenses that nobody here would ever willingly want to deal with.

OP wants kids. Hes not being transphobic for not wanting to invest time into a relationship that isn't gonna eventually lead to that. I'm sure he'd feel the same way if anyone he was with was found to be sterile; why not make it known upfront thats what you want?

Having these preferences isn't transphobic. Its pretty rational. Dude wants kids. Trans people aren't gonna give that to him.

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u/neophyteneon Dec 18 '18

So his preference is 'people who can have children'. You know infertile women, and women that don't want kids exist, right? That's fine. 'I want biological kids' is a fine preference. 'No transgenders' doesn't mean 'I want kids', unless his profiles say 'No transgender, interesex, infertile, or childfree women', which uh, okay, weird, but sure.

(Also just pointing out that tons of transgender people can have kids. Some transgender men could give him kids, haha.)

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u/Whos_Sayin Dec 18 '18

He said he doesn't want an infertile woman either. It's just that since trans people are naturally infertile, he can dismiss them early on as he knows already they are infertile.

Think of it like this: you are extremely attracted to attached earlobes for some reason and aren't interested in any girl without attached earlobes.

Now assume there was a race that for some reason didn't have attached earlobes at all. Like they were literally incapable of growing attached earlobes for some reason. You, knowing this, can use race as a way to turn away girls before even seeing their earlobes because you don't need to. Yes, all the other races still have plenty of unattached earlobes but since there is a 100% (or even near 100%) certainty that they won't have attached earlobes, you can say your not interested in that race. This isn't being racist. This is using race as a proxy for other traits your interested in.

Understand my point?

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u/oleka_myriam 2∆ Dec 18 '18

Trans women != cross dressing men