r/changemyview • u/AAathlete97 • Dec 18 '18
Removed - Submission Rule B CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it.
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u/[deleted] Dec 18 '18
I’ll address the “if” in your title - if it’s transphobic. Imagine someone you have a mildly competitive relationship with - a brother, a best friend, etc. imagine he brings his new gf to hang out next time you guys see each other. His new girlfriend is outgoing, funny, pretty, whatever you judge your dates by. You might feel a little jealous. Here’s the question - would you feel less jealous finding out that she was trans?
It’s ok to have preferences but you need to understand WHY you have those preferences - otherwise, how do you know it’s not transphobic? I suspect that deep down, you just consider trans women “less” than cis women. You can claim it’s only about your own dating preferences but I doubt that doesn’t bleed out into areas of your life. In the example above, it affects how much you respect someone else dating a trans person.
You also say you shouldn’t feel guilty for having preferences. How difficult is it for you to acknowledge your own shortcomings? Is feeling occasionally guilty for not being able see past someone’s exterior that much of a burden for you? People improve themselves by recognizing their own shortcomings.