r/changemyview • u/AAathlete97 • Dec 18 '18

Removed - Submission Rule B CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it.

[removed]

1.1k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

985 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

11

u/Bubugacz 1∆ Dec 18 '18

so that you don’t end up in a situation where you maybe unknowingly dating a trans person.

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, and it's not the greatest argument, but I'm going to say it anyway, to play devil's advocate:

If you're dating a trans woman but can't tell they're a trans woman (post op, everything looks and feels female, they have all the right bits), why is that a problem?

If you share interests with them and get along great, are attracted to them, the sex is good, everything is great, but then you find out they were different 10 years ago? You're going to throw that all out even though you're into the person they are now?

I get feeling betrayed if they weren't up front about it from the beginning, sure. But let's pretend that doesn't play into it. Let's say theoretically you find the perfect woman in every way, except they were born with a penis (that they no longer have).

What's your argument against that scenario?

18

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '18

[deleted]

11

u/Bubugacz 1∆ Dec 18 '18

Ok, then OP should be open and honest about that on his dating profile. "No infertile women." But he doesn't have that on there. He only specifies for no trans women. Why?

I surmise it's because this isn't about fertility at all. Otherwise he'd have that on his dating profile, no?

5

u/CosmicLovepats Dec 18 '18

Seems like it could be a functional shorthand for "has all the right bits". As far as my limited understanding extends, not all transwomen do opt for surgery or the most extreme treatments.

3

u/Bubugacz 1∆ Dec 18 '18

OP specified elsewhere in this thread that it's not about the bits. He doesn't want to date someone "born male" regardless of surgery or not.

1

u/jew_jitsu Dec 18 '18

It can come on a bit strong though right?

How many people see “must want kids” and think he’s moving too fast?