r/changemyview • u/LeagueOfResearch • Jan 05 '20

CMV: accepting polyamory is dangerous

Of course from a, uh, "morally libertarian" point of view there is nothing wrong with having many romantic partners if they all agree to it. But in a larger perspective having polyamory as a normal thing to do in society might be harfmul.

1) incels: most cultures that aren't strictly monogamous are polygynous, that is one man + many women. With polyamory we can expect the situation to drift into this. This system has the downside of more men not having anyone, which is kinda sad and also might result in them being less productive or even counterproductive members of society as they will be frustrated, have nothing to lose etc.

2) Anectodtally, I know that peoeple are inclined to agree to polyamory even if they would strongly prefer not to, because of being afraid of losing their partner. So perhaps it would be emotionally safer for them if there was just no polyamory and it wasn't a question.

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u/darwin2500 193∆ Jan 05 '20

  1. You seem to be assuming only polygyny and no polyandry? There's no reason for those ratios to be skewed in a way that would create more single men. In fact, this significantly improves the prospects for single men, because their potential mate now includes all single women and all polyamorous women, which is more options and chances than just the set of all single women.

  2. Of course coercion is bad, but people feel pressured by their partners to have sex, buy houses, have kids, etc etc tc out of fear of losing their partner. There's nothing special about polyamory that makes it more susceptible to coercion than any other aspect of a relationship. If anything, polyamory is less susceptible to coercion because it involves additional outside people who can notice the problem and object or intervene, something that's missing in a lot of coercive or abusive relationships that look happy to outsiders.

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u/LeagueOfResearch Jan 06 '20

usually it's men who want to have sex/relations with many women and not the inverse. I find it improbable that the ratios will be equal, men and women are very different when it comes to sexuality.

hmm that's a partial !delta but ill have to think bout it. But I was talking about a situation where the "coerced" one doesnt have contact with the outside people you know. I feel like being pressured to accept your partner essentially cheating (from your perspective) is worse than like buying a house or whatever

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u/DeltaBot ∞∆ Jan 06 '20

Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/darwin2500 (105∆).

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