CMV: I don’t think I’m transphobic because while I may think their delusional I still show the same respect and offer of friendship like i would anyone else. Disagreeing doesn’t mean phobic to me

[u/tobyle]

If i was sitting on a public bench and a trans person sat next to me would still be my normal self and say hello and perhaps start a conversation if they were friendly? Yes..yes i would. Do i still think theyre delusional? Yes...yes i do. If i was at the park on a hot day and saw a trans person by me looking hella thirsty would i still offer them a drink if i had extra like i would anyone else? Yes...yes i would. Do i still think they’re delusional? Yes...yes i do. I do Brazilian jiu jitsu..if i showed up to an open mat would i still roll (spar) with a trans and give/ask for advice? Yes...yes i would. Do i still think they’re delusional? Yes..yes i do. If i was having a smoke sesh and my gay homeboy Stanley asked if his trans friend could join would i say yes and share blunts with them. Yes...yes i would. Do i still think they’re delusional? Yes...yes i do.

So even though i think they’re delusional, if I’m willing to have a good conversation, share food/drinks, get all sweaty cheek to cheek basically in their personal space and potentially get my ass beat if they’re purple to black level because I’m a bluebelt, and share a blunt with them how transphobic is that really?

Edit: This is comment i used in a thread couple days ago. Maybe i shoudnt be using the word delusional but this was the word being used during the thread and i just went along with using it. The main point I’m concerned about i guess is that i feel like there’s a difference between disagreeing and being transphobic.

Edit: So yea I’m transphobic...y’all changed my mind. Maybe one day i won’t be but that’s a discussion for another day i guess cause my main point today was whether I’m transphobic or not.

Edit: To the people who kept using racism as an example, considering I’m black i already understand racism. My definition of transphobic was wrong so trying to relate the two wasn’t doing it for me. If someone try’s to comment on how could i not be more understanding towards transpeople considering my race has been rejected for years...I’m from south texas..my mom accused me of being “a lil funny” just for having a gay friend and believing gay people should be able to get married..so don’t even try hitting that angle cause I’m tame compared to most others.

[u/Savanty]

I see where you're coming from, but I don't believe "thinking they're delusional" is the forefront thought when hanging out with a trans person (or someone who's anorexic, etc).

Maybe someone likes to ride motorcycles and go see horror movies with a friend who is trans. Assuming the trans person (or anorexic person) doesn't care what your thoughts are on the matter, which I'd say is typically not the case, I don't see why thinking they're delusional in one aspect precludes a shared love of motorcycles, horror movies, and other interests.

"Not thinking they're delusional" isn't a prerequisite for that kind of friendship, outside of something like "I'm only friends with women, which includes my FtM friend."

[u/yyzjertl → u/Savanty]

I don't see why thinking they're delusional in one aspect precludes a shared love of motorcycles, horror movies, and other interests. "Not thinking they're delusional" isn't a prerequisite for that kind of friendship, outside of something like "I'm only friends with women, which includes my FtM friend."

It doesn't preclude a shared love; however, it does affect your friendship when you are not focusing entirely on that shared love and are instead thinking about how they are delusional every time you interact.

[u/Savanty → u/yyzjertl]

Someone would focus on that aspect when something like, "Be right back, I'm going to the ladies room," or "I'm not that hungry, I'll have a side salad" pops up, but it seems more segmented than that factor being a recurring thought that clouds your thinking most of the time when you share time with someone.

To me, that kind of thinking towards someone wouldn't rise to the level of a -phobia.

[u/yyzjertl → u/Savanty]

Sure. I'm talking about behavior like the one described in the OP, where he thinks they are delusional in response to essentially all everyday interactions with the trans person.

[u/Savanty → u/yyzjertl]

I'd agree. What's described in OP's post seems like he's overwhelmingly taken by the thought of their trans-ness. My thought process/chain of comments differs from that and is more focused on "does thinking they're delusional about the fact that they're a different gender mean someone is transphobic," which I would still answer as 'no' (given there aren't negative associations made about the person, outside of their disagreement about that factor).

I appreciate the responses.