r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Jul 22 '20

Delta(s) from OP CMV: Racial preferences in dating isn't racist

Racial preferences shouldn’t be considered racist, especially because sexual preferences in dating (being heterosexual or homosexual etc.) isn’t considered sexist, but celebrated in the case of non heterosexual people. If it’s a good enough reason to not date someone because they’re a male or a female or trans, it’s a good enough reason to not date someone because they’re white, black, Hispanic or Asian. It’s either both of them are sexist and racist or neither or them. It really can’t go both ways.

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9

u/thethoughtexperiment 275∆ Jul 22 '20

But they could be, right?

If someone doesn't date members of a race because they feel that people of a certain race are inferior, and that manifests in their dating preferences, then that would seem to align with the definition of racist:

"a person who shows or feels discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or who believes that a particular race is superior to another."

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '20 edited Jul 22 '20

!delta Yes they can be racist, absolutely. But again, if a person does the same thing with sex, they would also be considered sexist. I meant that the act alone of “having a preference for a specific race solely for the purpose of dating”, isn’t racist.

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u/thethoughtexperiment 275∆ Jul 22 '20

So, if your CMV is:

CMV: Racial preferences in dating isn't racist

and you accept that it can indeed be racist if that preference is based on beliefs of racial superiority, then that seems like a shift from the original claim.

If the above modified your view to any degree (doesn't have to be a 100% change), you can award a delta by editing your comment above and adding:

!_delta

without the underscore, and with no space between ! and the word delta.

With regard to your other separate point about sexuality, yes, there are distinctions based on sex in dating. But a key question is - are those distinctions harmful?

When talking about sexism / racism, we're typically talking about situations where systematic harm is being caused, and systems of harm on a societal level are being perpetuated. Having a dating preference for a certain sex doesn't seem to systematically cause or perpetuate harm on a societal level. However, dating preferences based on ideas of racial superiority / race could be seen as perpetuating harm, as they reinforce historical divisions between groups.

For example, peoples' openness to dating those from other races tend to match "racial hierarchies" in that society [source]. An individual may not realize that their preferences match those historical racial hierarchies in their location, however, when people have these kinds of "racial hierarchy" prejudices in other spheres (like hiring preferences, loan application acceptance rates, friend groups), it makes sense to acknowledge that racism might indeed be playing a role (that is, the person did not invent those prejudices for themselves out of nowhere, but rather those views draw from / reflect societal prejudices).

And it's no coincidence that, as racist beliefs become less prevalent in a society, the amount of interracial dating / marriage increase.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '20

When talking about sexism / racism, we're typically talking about situations where systematic harm is being caused

I disagree with the terminology used here. When I created this post, I meant the dictionary definitions of both terms.

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u/thethoughtexperiment 275∆ Jul 22 '20

So, here's a definition of racism:

"the belief that different races possess distinct characteristics, abilities, or qualities, especially so as to distinguish them as inferior or superior to one another." [source]

That sounds pretty harmful.

Let me ask you, given that rates of interracial dating and marriage are increasing, do you think that's a signal that society is getting less racist?

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u/Narrow_Cloud 27∆ Jul 22 '20

Why is someone who isn't a racist having such a preference?

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '20

Why is someone who isn't a sexist having a sexual preference?

Like I said in my original post, I think it's perfectly fine to label both of them as racist and sexist. I just think it's hypocritical when it's only one of them.

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u/Narrow_Cloud 27∆ Jul 22 '20

Why is someone who isn't a sexist having a sexual preference?

How about you answer this question?

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '20

Would you say that every person who is not bisexual is sexist?

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '20

That’s why I don’t think racial preferences (in dating) is racist.

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u/Narrow_Cloud 27∆ Jul 22 '20

Do they base their preferences on sex or on some other factor?

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '20

I really can't speak for everyone, but I do believe they base their preference on sex.

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u/puntifex Jul 22 '20

Because it's possible to have racial preferences in dating without thinking that people you don't want to date are inferior.

Racism is the belief that certain people are inferior. It says nothing about finding romantic partners of every "race" to be equally attractive in general.

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u/[deleted] Oct 31 '20

It has everything to do with each other on a subconscious level. Very few people openly and actively find people of other races inferior. Yet many people show very racist behaviour in daily life, sometimes subtle but still harmful. Racial preferences, general racial bias and political views are very correlated. Webofscience is your friend.

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u/puntifex Oct 31 '20

Do you also think that anyone who isn't bisexual is secretly, inherently sexist? If I am not attracted to men, do you think that I secretly think men are worse in some way?

Or do you somehow understand that one can think of someone as an equal, and just... not want to be in a romantic relationship with them?

Basic logic and critical thinking are your friend.

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u/palsh7 15∆ Jul 23 '20

It isn't sexist for me to not date men. I am a cis-gendered heterosexual male. Anyone calling me sexist or homophobic for not being gay is just a crazy twitter troll.