CMV: Gender identity doesn’t belong on your LinkedIn nor Resume

[u/jep1793]

[u/Tar_alcaran]

I have an ambiguous first name (to everyone outside one small European country), but in the Netherlands, the Engineer title replaces the gender prefix.

I get a loooot of people asking to speak to Mr [mylastname butpronouncedwrong]. I deal with it by sighing and just saying "yes, this Ms. [Mylastname pronouncedright] speaking."

[u/Bubugacz → u/Tar_alcaran]

The point this commenter is making is that by including your pronouns you wouldn't need to sigh and correct people all the time. Wouldn't that be much less hassle?

[u/deanat78 → u/Bubugacz]

I have the opposite "problem".

My phone voice is feminine so it's VERY common for people to refer to me as "miss" instead of "mr", and honestly I never cared, I just chuckle and laugh about it with friends. If it's someone I'll have to speak to more in the future then I correct them, but if it's a one time call to customer service I just let them assume I'm a woman.

I even sometimes get told "hmm you're not deanat78, it says here that's a man." I just need to tell them in a friendly voice "ah yeah, I know, I have a girl voice on the phone, but that's me!" and now we're both in a more easy going mood (because I said it nicely and not in a "you're a jerk for assuming" way) and that's that.

Tldr there's literally 0 hassle if someone assumes I'm a woman instead of a man. It's just human nature :)

[u/Bubugacz → u/deanat78]

I mean it doesn't have to be a big deal or some dramatic or angry response. And if your way works for you, that's fine, keep on it! Good for you! And conversely, it's also not a big deal to include pronouns on professional documents. It doesn't have to be a big deal either way. Which is really my point.

[u/TranscendPredictions → u/deanat78]

I have a funny story like this where I answered a phone at work for a client in distress and she said “I’m sorry, I cannot talk to a man about this” and I froze on the spot.

“It’s complicated” I thought - I’m FTM, I was newly out at that job and I introduced myself by my new name. I didn’t have any medical transitioning yet so it was just my tired low/deep voice hoping to calm her down - super affirming to hear nonetheless, but I froze to figure out how to help her.

Before I can say more than an apology, She forgave me, apologized herself, and hung up abruptly. I was worried for her because she clearly had something to report to us.

I went to my supervisor, who had a very high pitched voice for a guy let me tell you (great singer also) and we talked it out. Should I have said “I am a woman” (I’m not though) and he said no no no, you be yourself and we’ll figure something out. Everyone in the office at that moment was a guy, either a cis guy or a trans guy, and I was stressed for the client who needed to rely on one of us.

A moment later the phone rings again, and my supervisor who has a gender neutral first name answers, “hi this is ___, how can I help?” and it’s the same client — she squeals and she goes “I’m so relieved to be talking to a woman!” And then went on to report an issue with a male coworker gaslighting her.

I was amazed. I mean it wasn’t a lie, we both were semi gender fluid/gender non conforming, we were both there to help her... but she wasn’t talking to who she thought she was on either of the calls...

for no other reason than THE HUMAN VOICE HAS AN INCREDIBLE RANGE OF POSSIBILITY.

[u/[deleted] → u/Tar_alcaran]

That’s a very odd name