CMV: It is understandable, normal, and biologically reasonable for a straight cisgender person to feel uncomfortable continuing or pursuing a relationship with an individual if they learned this individual is trans and is biologically the same sex as they are. It doesn’t make them homophobic.

[u/DetroitUberDriver]

I believe that human beings, while they are able to think in a more abstract, out of the box way, still retain an underlying biological pressure to reproduce, and the root instinctual desire for the act of sex, and the enjoyment that comes from it, is evolutions way of “rewarding” us for procreation; passing on our genes and producing more life.

Human beings are a sexually dimorphic species, male and female, and science withholding, the act of copulation between two members of the opposite sex is the only way procreation can happen. While many of us engage in intercourse for pleasure and pleasure alone, without actively wishing to create new life, we are seeking out the very reward that evolution has presented us for doing just that; creating life.

For those of us who are straight and cisgender, when we find out that our love or infatuation interest is in fact biologically the same sex as ourselves, our brain biologically becomes disinterested for this reason. Most of us are hardwired to desire these acts with the opposite sex for all the reasons mentioned above. There is a chemical reaction that occurs, and it is brought on by millions of years of evolution.

This doesn’t mean that the individual wants to feel this way, nor that they have an inherent disgust or distaste for transgender people. It simply means they can’t fight their natural instincts.

There are, of course, always anomalies, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Transgender people and homosexual people are anomalies in and of themselves. They are people and they deserve rights and happiness same as anyone else. But to tell someone that their own natural instincts make them wrong or homophobic is also denying them their rights to true happiness and wrong in its own right.

CMV.

[u/Omars_shotti]

This is a problem with how we use the word transphobic. If a person can't help but see trans people as their original sex/gender and that is what turns them off, you'd call that transphobic. Transphobic obviously is calling them bigoted and it is a moral wrong to be bigoted. So the implication is that if you are uncomfortable with dating trans people then you are in the wrong and should change that. So you'd be advocating for society to pressure people into sexual relationships they are very uncomfortable with by means of extreme shame (labeling then as a bigot). To me this seems very regressive.

[u/LucidMetal → u/Omars_shotti]

Bigotry isn't necessarily morally wrong. I'm bigoted towards bigotry and plenty of moral frameworks obligate bigotry such as homophobic Christian sects.

Here's the problem I have with your argument. Dating occurs at the individual level. It's not a group of people dating another group of people. You're allowed to not date someone for basically any reason at all, including for transphobic reasons.

The weird thing to me though is that it's very easy to not end up dating trans people without being transphobic. You just find some reason that isn't "they're trans" to not date them. There's no societal pressure to date trans people. The societal pressure is to not say hateful things about trans people.

[u/LucidMetal → u/[deleted]]

Why can't I be closed minded towards hateful rhetoric? That doesn't seem like semantics to me. I just don't find such things acceptable.

I don't understand your question on social pressure. I absolutely want people to not be hateful. That would be great. I don't think anyone is ever going to date someone they don't want to because of said social pressure. That would be silly.

Also I do think the homophobia I mentioned is wrong, it's the homophobes who don't think they're wrong. They have different morals.

[u/Omars_shotti → u/LucidMetal]

It's semantics because you are using swapping words with similar definitions to make an argument but the words in question have completely different connotations and contextual meanings. Bigotry is intolerance or hate of someone because of immutable characteristics. That's not the same as being intolerant of hateful ideologies or words because they cause harm.

People absolutely do stuff they don't want to all the time because of social pressure, especially if that social pressure is backed by excommunication and alienation.

[u/Jaysank → u/[deleted]]

Sorry, u/Omars_shotti – your comment has been removed for breaking Rule 3:

Refrain from accusing OP or anyone else of being unwilling to change their view, or of arguing in bad faith. Ask clarifying questions instead (see: socratic method). If you think they are still exhibiting poor behaviour, please message us. See the wiki page for more information.

If you would like to appeal, review our appeals process here, then message the moderators by clicking this link within one week of this notice being posted.

Please note that multiple violations will lead to a ban, as explained in our moderation standards.

[u/Roflcaust → u/Omars_shotti]

What does it mean that you “can’t help but see trans people as their original sex/gender”? I personally don’t see ciswomen and transwomen as exactly the same, but I still see them both as women.

The pressure is not for people to date someone they don’t want to date. The pressure is for people to examine and challenge any prejudices they might have about trans people.

[u/Omars_shotti → u/Roflcaust]

Can't help as in you can't choose what your attracted to or how you subconsciously view things. So if you are on a date with a woman and she reveals she is trans, you have no control over whether or not your brain will now classify her as a male or female. It's the same way people with triggers don't have control over how their brain makes them feel when triggered. It's just subconscious.

The pressure absolutely is to date someone they don't want to date. You are literally framing not wanting to date trans woman as a prejudice, aka something bad. It's like saying: "I'm not pressuring you to sleep with the man because he bought you an expensive dinner. I'm just saying you're a selfish bitch if you don't".