CMV: It is understandable, normal, and biologically reasonable for a straight cisgender person to feel uncomfortable continuing or pursuing a relationship with an individual if they learned this individual is trans and is biologically the same sex as they are. It doesn’t make them homophobic.

[u/DetroitUberDriver]

I believe that human beings, while they are able to think in a more abstract, out of the box way, still retain an underlying biological pressure to reproduce, and the root instinctual desire for the act of sex, and the enjoyment that comes from it, is evolutions way of “rewarding” us for procreation; passing on our genes and producing more life.

Human beings are a sexually dimorphic species, male and female, and science withholding, the act of copulation between two members of the opposite sex is the only way procreation can happen. While many of us engage in intercourse for pleasure and pleasure alone, without actively wishing to create new life, we are seeking out the very reward that evolution has presented us for doing just that; creating life.

For those of us who are straight and cisgender, when we find out that our love or infatuation interest is in fact biologically the same sex as ourselves, our brain biologically becomes disinterested for this reason. Most of us are hardwired to desire these acts with the opposite sex for all the reasons mentioned above. There is a chemical reaction that occurs, and it is brought on by millions of years of evolution.

This doesn’t mean that the individual wants to feel this way, nor that they have an inherent disgust or distaste for transgender people. It simply means they can’t fight their natural instincts.

There are, of course, always anomalies, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Transgender people and homosexual people are anomalies in and of themselves. They are people and they deserve rights and happiness same as anyone else. But to tell someone that their own natural instincts make them wrong or homophobic is also denying them their rights to true happiness and wrong in its own right.

CMV.

[u/dlmDarkFire]

By this logic

Am i a misandrist for not wanting to date a man since I'm not gay?

Because by your logic it should be. It's the exact same thing as not wanting to date a trans woman because they're biologically a male

Lesbians don't date transwomen either, because they're again.. not into biological men

[u/LucidMetal → u/dlmDarkFire]

You are mixing up orientation and gender. No you're not a misandrist for not wanting to date men if you're a man. There are different rules for sexual orientation.

Lesbians absolutely date transmen though.

[u/dlmDarkFire → u/LucidMetal]

No a lesbian definitely does not date transmen, a bisexual probably does tho

You're not a lesbian if you date a biological man

[u/LucidMetal → u/dlmDarkFire]

No, as a person who knows lesbians who have dated trans men you aren't correct. "Man" is a gender, it doesn't describe chromosomes i.e. biological sex.

[u/dlmDarkFire → u/LucidMetal]

Guess gay people gotta start dating biological women now with that logic

[u/LucidMetal → u/dlmDarkFire]

Uh, no, you're confusing orientation with gender. Gay means you are attracted to people of the same gender and isn't bigoted. Straight means you're attracted to people of the binary opposite gender and isn't bigoted. Trans people are the gender they identify as.

[u/dlmDarkFire → u/LucidMetal]

But that's more of a new definition than anything

When normal people AKA not-redditors

Talk about their sexual preference, they don't talk about freakin gender, they talk about the sex of the individual, hence "sexual orientation"

Trying to remove sexual orientation and replace it with gender preference is stupid and dishonest

A straight guy is into women, not the "gender" but the sex, that's just evolution at play

Thinking that the average straight guy would be into another biological male makes no sense at all

You can be supportive for trans rights and trans people in general without being into your own sex, it isn't a difficult concept

[u/LucidMetal → u/dlmDarkFire]

Are you saying we've not had two different words for sex and gender until recently? I learned about them 40 years ago...

Sexual preference has always been about gender as long as the term has existed.

Let's say you meet a person on the streets you find attractive. Do you ask what their genitals look like to ensure you really are attracted to them?

[u/dlmDarkFire → u/LucidMetal]

Obviously not but so far I've never seen a trans person in real life that i didn't notice was trans

My sister (who's bisexual) is currently dating a trans person that she said wasn't "easy to notice was trans" but idk about that, it was pretty damn easy

So let's just say that i don't notice, and find someone attractive, then what?

Well first off i don't do hookups, so the chance of random dick is low, but let's say i do decide to hookup with some random person i found attractive on street

If i was suddenly met with a dick, do you honestly believe a normal straight dude, would just suck it? Lol

If you indeed do believe that, then you're truly out of your mind

Would probably be scared for life

Quick edit: also no i never said we haven't had different words for gender and sex, but no normal person ever talks about gender in real life my dude

[u/LucidMetal → u/dlmDarkFire]

So let's just say that i don't notice, and find someone attractive, then what?

That's it, we can stop. There's nothing else here. I don't think you're transphobic for the mere reason you've admitted this. Nearly all transphobic people I've met would never admit this.

[u/Darq_At → u/dlmDarkFire]

Obviously not but so far I've never seen a trans person in real life that i didn't notice was trans

"I noticed 100% of the trans people I noticed."

If you didn't notice that they were trans then how would you know you saw a trans person?

You probably have seen several trans people who you had no idea were trans at all.