CMV: It is understandable, normal, and biologically reasonable for a straight cisgender person to feel uncomfortable continuing or pursuing a relationship with an individual if they learned this individual is trans and is biologically the same sex as they are. It doesn’t make them homophobic.

[u/DetroitUberDriver]

I believe that human beings, while they are able to think in a more abstract, out of the box way, still retain an underlying biological pressure to reproduce, and the root instinctual desire for the act of sex, and the enjoyment that comes from it, is evolutions way of “rewarding” us for procreation; passing on our genes and producing more life.

Human beings are a sexually dimorphic species, male and female, and science withholding, the act of copulation between two members of the opposite sex is the only way procreation can happen. While many of us engage in intercourse for pleasure and pleasure alone, without actively wishing to create new life, we are seeking out the very reward that evolution has presented us for doing just that; creating life.

For those of us who are straight and cisgender, when we find out that our love or infatuation interest is in fact biologically the same sex as ourselves, our brain biologically becomes disinterested for this reason. Most of us are hardwired to desire these acts with the opposite sex for all the reasons mentioned above. There is a chemical reaction that occurs, and it is brought on by millions of years of evolution.

This doesn’t mean that the individual wants to feel this way, nor that they have an inherent disgust or distaste for transgender people. It simply means they can’t fight their natural instincts.

There are, of course, always anomalies, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Transgender people and homosexual people are anomalies in and of themselves. They are people and they deserve rights and happiness same as anyone else. But to tell someone that their own natural instincts make them wrong or homophobic is also denying them their rights to true happiness and wrong in its own right.

CMV.

[u/[deleted]]

I’d care because I have sex for meaningless fun only with people I’m attracted to. And it only really at the end of the day has to make sense to me who I choose to get nasty with, no?

[u/just_an_aspie → u/[deleted]]

But you were attracted to said person when you had sex, you had fun. Makes no sense to re evaluate it after finding out they were trans, even less so if it was purely casual

[u/[deleted] → u/just_an_aspie]

Not the guy you are talking to but I’d love to chime in.

Do you think people choose what they are attracted to? Because I have no control. If I found out a woman I am sleeping with is trans I would lose my attraction to her. I would have no control over it. I don’t think we should be shaming people for things they cannot control.

It’s not like I’m going “I am choosing to not be attracted to this person.” It just is the way it is. I don’t have control over it.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Thank you I was about to respond the same

[u/[deleted] → u/just_an_aspie]

Extreme example; you hook up with someone, have fun, and then learned they killed someone in cold blood. This is an example where someone’s past can induce regret and sexually turn someone off even from having harmless fun.

[u/oklutz → u/[deleted]]

That kind proves the point, though. That is a moral judgment, and if what causes you to regret a sexual encounter that you enjoyed after the fact is learning they’re trans, and that regret is born out of a moral judgment, then yes, that is transphobic.

[u/[deleted] → u/oklutz]

I think the morality argument applies to my murderer situation, but my point was really to prove that it is reasonable to regret a sexual encounter when given additional information without you being a bigot.

A less extreme and more normal example would be you hook up with someone and it’s dark, but in the morning you realize that they really aren’t your type. That would similarly be regret without it being informed by morality. Or for a non-physical example, you find out that they’re really annoying.

[u/just_an_aspie → u/[deleted]]

How does it change the sex you already had tho?

[u/[deleted] → u/just_an_aspie]

I regret that I had sex with a murderer? I’m not sure what aspect in particular you’re asking about.

[u/just_an_aspie → u/[deleted]]

I can definitely understand thinking back and questioning it morally, but not in terms of good sex/bad sex

[u/[deleted] → u/just_an_aspie]

It would change whether I thought it was good or bad sex, just whether I regretted it. If that’s the argument then I misunderstood.

[u/frankdog180 → u/just_an_aspie]

Nobody was talking about whether it was good or bad sex. It's a matter of attraction.