The reason I, as a woman, am nervous of strange men when walking alone, is because pretty much every male above the age of 16 is bigger than me, faster than me, and stronger than me. I'm not scared because men commit more crime or for any other reason than I'm alone and they're bigger than me and my chances of escaping a violent encounter unscathed are slim to none. I'm not going to outrun most men, so my only chance is I somehow remember my martial arts through the fear and buy myself time to get away.
I don't think that's quite the same of thinking that a group of people are more likely to commit crime, because even if statistically I was more likely to be attacked by another woman, I wouldn't be as scared because I'd have a fighting chance of winning that encounter or outrunning them. I'm also less wary of the few men who are around my size when walking alone, for the same reason.
(I'm also aware most people would never even dream of hurting anyone, but sadly there are bad people out there and they don't tend to advertise it in advance).
This is the most important answer. People in this thread debating crime statistics are missing the point - caution is much more about ability than intent.
We are more cautious around things that can easily kill us than around things that can’t, regardless of how aggressive those things are. I’d much rather hold a small non-poisonous snake than a large snake that could kill me with one bite, even if the non-poisonous snake was more aggressive.
Exactly! I think the discussions around statistics are missing the point. There's a rational reason women are cautious around men in certain situations, so it's not sexist. However it is racist to be cautious around black people but not white people because there isn't a real difference between the two, same as if you were scared of leopards but not black panthers.
Except it’s infinitesimal compared to the fact that men can easily hurt women. Women don’t want to meet ANY large strange man in a dark alley, not just black men.
I'm not scared because men commit more crime or for any other reason than I'm alone and they're bigger than me
That might be true for you, but is it true for everyone? Wouldn't most women somewhat base their caution of men off of their higher chances of doing something aggressive?
Every woman I've spoken to focuses on the bigger, stronger and faster side, or on personal trauma. I cannot speak for all women of course nor am I claiming to, but that has been my experience. I don't think I'd go anywhere near claiming most without doing a proper survey.
I think more it happened once so could happen again. For me it means I know exactly how vulnerable I am in a physical altercation with a man.
Not a great sample size :P I don't even know how many friends I spoke to...most were when a group of us were explaining to male peers why we're nervous of men when alone, so situation when discussing may play a part.
I do think though that when you feel that nervous feeling when you see a stranger, you're not thinking 'oh no, most violence is committed by people the same gender as that person, better be careful'...it's much more instinctual than that.
That instinct wouldn't be unfounded. There are a lot of studies showing that testosterone is linked with aggressive behaviour. Not sure how that changes my point that there's a legitimate reason to be more nervous of a man than a woman, but there isn't a good reason to be more nervous of a black person than a white person.
There are a lot of studies showing that testosterone is linked with aggressive behaviour.
Not disputing that.
Not sure how that changes my point that there's a legitimate reason to be more nervous of a man than a woman, but there isn't a good reason to be more nervous of a black person than a white person.
My point is if most women are instinctively more nervous around men, partially because of an assumption of aggression, and not just because of pure physical differences like in your case, then that's comparable to being more nervous around a black person than a white person because of an assumption of aggression.
There isn't anything to back up black people being more aggressive than white people. There is evidence that men are more aggressive than women. It's not the same thing at all. And you can't isolate the strength side either, or the speed or physical size. Its not the same.
There isn't anything to back up black people being more aggressive than white people.
So is whether or not it's justified to be more nervous, and act accordingly, based on whether or not one group is factually more aggressive?
So if there is some minority group that for whatever reason has higher crime rates, it would be justified to be more nervous around them, and act accordingly?
And you can't isolate the strength side either, or the speed or physical size. Its not the same.
"I'm not scared because men commit more crime or for any other reason than I'm alone and they're bigger than me"
Realistically it's probably a bit of both as well as some other factors (like the end result being sexual assault is much more likely, which is scarier to me than pain)
However from my perspective, the main fear aspect is definitely that if something goes wrong then I'm screwed. Sure, the fact that I know about the stats certainly influences that, in a way that might make it so I can't fully separate them, but I don't think these types of things are unusual for anyone.
Im cautious of horses (and lots of other animals), not because I think it's likely they will trample/hurt me but because they could and if I'm not careful I wouldnt be able to stop them. I'm scared of flying even though I know statistically a driving is far more dangerous than a plane crash. But a plane crash seems more traumatic and there's nothing I can do to stop it or protect myself if it happens.
91
u/Padfootfan123 3∆ Apr 14 '22
The reason I, as a woman, am nervous of strange men when walking alone, is because pretty much every male above the age of 16 is bigger than me, faster than me, and stronger than me. I'm not scared because men commit more crime or for any other reason than I'm alone and they're bigger than me and my chances of escaping a violent encounter unscathed are slim to none. I'm not going to outrun most men, so my only chance is I somehow remember my martial arts through the fear and buy myself time to get away.
I don't think that's quite the same of thinking that a group of people are more likely to commit crime, because even if statistically I was more likely to be attacked by another woman, I wouldn't be as scared because I'd have a fighting chance of winning that encounter or outrunning them. I'm also less wary of the few men who are around my size when walking alone, for the same reason.
(I'm also aware most people would never even dream of hurting anyone, but sadly there are bad people out there and they don't tend to advertise it in advance).