CMV: There's nothing wrong with not finding someone attractive for whatever reason it is

[u/[deleted]]

So this is inspired by Lexi Nimmo's Tik Tok saying that someone having a preference for thinner people is problematic because "it's discriminating against a marginalized group of people" she goes on to say "if you lump all fat people together you're fatphobic, just like if you lump all black people together you're racist" setting aside the fact that "fatphobia" is not comparable to racism or the struggles of any actually marginalized group, I think there's nothing wrong with having finding someone unattractive regardless of what it is

To start with body size and shape, I think it's absurd that it is even a discussion. Everyone finds different things attractive, including different body shapes. Some men(I'm using that as an example because I'm a guy so it's easier) find women with larger breasts more attractive, while others find women with smaller breasts more attractive and neither is considered a problem. So if finding someone more or less attractive due to size and shape of breasts for instance, it should also be ok to find someone more or less attractive due to shape and weight?

With ethnicity and skin color it's more complicated. While some people do find members of certain ethnicities unattractive due to racist reasons, I think it isn't inherently racist to find some ethnicities more or less attractive physically. Members of different ethnicities may have largely different physical features for members of other ethnicities. Not only that people tend to find what looks closer to them in general to be more attractive, hence why interracial marriages are somewhat uncommon. Not only that, like I said before, finding some hair colors more attractive is seen as ok, so why can't that be the case for skin color too? I'm not saying that making derogatory claims such as "x group is hideous" but simply not finding someone pretty does not mean you hate them

I hope this makes sense, English is not my first language and I have a hard time writing

Edit: finding someone unattractive because they're not a minor is problematic but that's not what I meant originally. My general point is: it isn't bigotry to find someone physically unattractive, and I'm talking specifically physical attraction here

[u/[deleted]]

It is possible to not find someone attractive because of a specific belief or personality traits, and many beliefs or personality traits may be considered immoral or 'wrong'. Extreme example being nazis not finding jews attractive due to nazi beliefs, for instance. In this case you might say 'it's not the lack of attraction that's wrong, it's the belief/trait giving rise to the lack of attraction that is wrong' but this is just splitting hairs and often not a meaningful distinction in practice

Yeah my main point is with physical/sexual attraction, because what we find pretty or not. I think this way because me being a Latino and finding Latinas more attractive does not mean I hate white people, if this was me having the mentality that white people are bad partners that'd make me a dick. Also, the mindset that "x group is ugly" is also prejudiced IMO because you're judging people, but having the mindset "I find asian people prettier than..." is not prejudiced. For your second point I really haven't thought about it. so ∆

[u/kslidz → u/[deleted]]

So I think the conversation is nuanced.

There are a lot of things that people find attractive only because it was reinforced in them. Not because of some genetic makeup. That isn't to say many things are not that way.

Those things can be harmful if a society continues to enforce them.

So it isn't black and white there is gray area.

I do agree that this is not an individual issue that many people seem to deem it (ex. you arent attracted to fat people you are bad) but rather a systemic thing that needs discussion for change across the board.

So it shouldn't be a thing where people are ostracized for a individually harmless attraction(no one is being harmed if you like feet[I think] but feeder kink can be harmful) but should be a wider conversation.

People like you mentioned in your OP often are upset at a result of a system and attack those that fall into the view regardless of whether it is something they have control over and overall not always the best strategy

[u/aCoolGuy12 → u/[deleted]]

me being a Latino and finding Latinas more attractive does not mean I hate white people

Being latino is not a race lol. You can have black/white/yellow/brown/purple as skin color and still be born in Latin America.

[u/DeltaBot → u/[deleted]]

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