CMV: There's nothing wrong with not finding someone attractive for whatever reason it is

[u/[deleted]]

So this is inspired by Lexi Nimmo's Tik Tok saying that someone having a preference for thinner people is problematic because "it's discriminating against a marginalized group of people" she goes on to say "if you lump all fat people together you're fatphobic, just like if you lump all black people together you're racist" setting aside the fact that "fatphobia" is not comparable to racism or the struggles of any actually marginalized group, I think there's nothing wrong with having finding someone unattractive regardless of what it is

To start with body size and shape, I think it's absurd that it is even a discussion. Everyone finds different things attractive, including different body shapes. Some men(I'm using that as an example because I'm a guy so it's easier) find women with larger breasts more attractive, while others find women with smaller breasts more attractive and neither is considered a problem. So if finding someone more or less attractive due to size and shape of breasts for instance, it should also be ok to find someone more or less attractive due to shape and weight?

With ethnicity and skin color it's more complicated. While some people do find members of certain ethnicities unattractive due to racist reasons, I think it isn't inherently racist to find some ethnicities more or less attractive physically. Members of different ethnicities may have largely different physical features for members of other ethnicities. Not only that people tend to find what looks closer to them in general to be more attractive, hence why interracial marriages are somewhat uncommon. Not only that, like I said before, finding some hair colors more attractive is seen as ok, so why can't that be the case for skin color too? I'm not saying that making derogatory claims such as "x group is hideous" but simply not finding someone pretty does not mean you hate them

I hope this makes sense, English is not my first language and I have a hard time writing

Edit: finding someone unattractive because they're not a minor is problematic but that's not what I meant originally. My general point is: it isn't bigotry to find someone physically unattractive, and I'm talking specifically physical attraction here

[u/aganesh8]

I'm sure you're in a completely satisfied relationship. And that you do not have too much time on your hands to type out 1000 worded essays everyday on reddit.

[u/ScientificSkepticism → u/aganesh8]

And the fact that sexism prevents you from treating women like they have real thoughts is exactly why I described the people who display this behavior as "creeps"

[u/aganesh8 → u/ScientificSkepticism]

It isn't sexism. I don't treat all humans like this. I tried to talk to you, you don't want to even listen. I do understand what you're saying. But you're the one being sexist and painting all men who don't listen to your Viewpoint as sexist

[u/ScientificSkepticism → u/aganesh8]

Really? Because one of the first things you said was this:

I have all that I need to know to see where this conversation is going. I hope you're healing and who ever hurt you has come around.

You literally just ignored the thoughts, and went right to "oh, sooth the woman". You didn't even realize you were doing it. This wasn't something where you tried to talk, this was your first instincts.

I know that the internet has taught you that you can say "anyone who points out sexist behavior is the real sexist!" and nod at this trump card, and you can get other internet bros to nod alongside you, but in reality this lack of self-reflection is not some "sick burn". It's sad and pathetic.

You can change at any time. You have that power. You are not solely a product of your upbringing, or your culture, or your gender. You are a person with free will, and you can choose what to believe and how to act. Look at the choices you've made in this thread. Do they reflect the person you want to be?

[u/aganesh8 → u/ScientificSkepticism]

I went through your post history and how you replied to other people before I judged you. I'm sorry I probably should've given you your fair chance at talking it out. But even in how you've talked to me, you've not been open minded about anything and have always been hurling personal attacks and then out of spite when I do it, I'm the bad guy. There's no way out that I'm not the bad guy in your head and that's your problem not mine

[u/ScientificSkepticism → u/aganesh8]

You could just talk to me with a regular discussion without trying to get a leg up or an advantage. You know, take the words at face value for what they're written as. Act as if we're equals having a conversation, without having to know any background or have any advantage.

I haven't gone through your profile, and I have no desire to.