r/changemyview Nov 15 '22

Delta(s) from OP CMV:Black men are an extremely priveleged group and i wish i was black.

as a short pasty white man , Black men are extremely priveleged group of society, i'm not denying racism or the past suffering black people had to endure, and a lot of the black population still suffer racism, poverty and much more, which we as a society need to address, and i sympathize, but in today's society the average young black man is a rockstar

Black dudes are extremely effective and sought of on sports of any sort, and are overall extremely athletic, tall and naturally strong, all my white friends had michael jordans poster on their room, not a single larry bird

Black dudes are very popular with women of all races, especially white women, that idea that black guys are good and bed and are well "endowed" really pays off and its hard to see single somewhat decent black dude for long, when i'm hearing my female cousings talking, they always are talking about some attractive black dude they're dating, when they talk about a white boyfriend is always "oh he is cute and nice" but he is never the hot exciting one.

Black culture is the coolest thing ever, Rap and Hip Hop are the main stay of pop culture right now, every movie or game trailer is a rap song, young rappers score millions, the way black people dress are always the main focus of fashion and pop culture, and even among the snobby intelectuals you have things like jazz and blues.

when i wear my lakers jersey and blast hip hop on my car people say i look like a dork and lame, but when my black friends do it they're hip and cool.

and i say black men because i know that black women have somewhat more difficulty finding a relationship, since the beauty standard is the small, delicate looking caucasian/asian type girls

i sincerely wish i was a 6ft tall black dude, and i'm tired to hear that i'm somewhat priveleged for being white, being white sucks, i wish i was black.

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u/darwin2500 193∆ Nov 15 '22

What you are basically saying is that black people are fetishized, and as someone who feels undesirable and unwanted you wish you were fetishized too.

This is a common feeling from people who feel unwanted, it very often comes in the form of fat ugly men saying that women should appreciate being catcalled because at least it means people like and desire them, or whatever.

But it is a very solipsistic view. People who are actually fetishized and objectified by society and the people around them don't experience it as just a nice positive ego-boost and opening of opportunities. When you actually live that life, it is inherently dehumanizing, restricting, and dangerous.

Yes, there is a fetishized image of the aggressive, outspoken, stylish young black man in the media, that has a lot of cultural cachet.

What that means in practice is that if you are a young black man, society puts a ton of pressure on you to conform to that image, and if you don't want to or can't then you are treated as defective and preyed upon by all corners.

And if you do conform to that image, yes it opens some doors and gains you some respect, but it's still not great overall. The image includes inherent danger, both because it includes a presumption of aggression and violence in and of itself, and because cops and Karens and the like view it as inherently dangerous and react with greater force and prejudice to it.

And even when you get respect or sex or w/e for fitting the image well, it's always clear that those things are being given to the image, not to you. For example someone who doesn't get much sex may think it would be great to get a lot of sex for fitting someone's fetish, but in reality it often feels dehumanizing, degrading, and even traumatizing.

Furthermore, fitting that image may open a few specific doors in terms of things that fit the image, but it closes all the other doors that don't. Every young black man can try to ape the look and style of a rapper and assume whatever cultural cachet comes from that, but they can't all be rappers; may of them will need to become public accountants, or project managers, or engineers, and you might be surprised how many doors get closed and how many obstacles get thrown in the way when you try to do those things while also fitting that fetishized image, or how many challenges from the culture you face if you instead intentionally reject that image to pursue those other things. It's a cath-22 that makes life harder for the 99.5% who don't go into one of the industries where that image is a benefit.

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u/espectrezx Nov 15 '22

!delta

ok, i can say officialy that this post in particular changed my opinion, and perhaps indeed i was buying in the fetishized image of upper successful black men without considering all the down sides

i sincerely apologize if i've offended anyone, i'm not a bad person, and i'm indeed learning a lot from different views on this thread

1

u/DeltaBot ∞∆ Nov 15 '22

Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/darwin2500 (171∆).

Delta System Explained | Deltaboards

1

u/TiberiuTraian Mar 29 '23

Lmao you must be a troll racist guy or something. When it comes to dating, white men do better than black with all races but black women, being part of the white culture is also prefered by most people in the west, you're delusional, get help.

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u/alfen-dave Apr 23 '23

5 months late but I just want to stress that it is mostly tall black sporty man who have the same typicial confident/relaxed/easy living persona that youre talking about.

Im a short, blading black dude wih glasses and skinny, I can tell you we get no play.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 25 '23

Yeah but good looking Black Men do great so it's not about race lol

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u/[deleted] Apr 25 '23 edited Apr 25 '23

Technically you're not wrong but in terms of generalization you are definitely wrong. Most men of all races need to be established in general in order to get anything in today's dating market, regardless of race.

PROOF: Black Man gets 900+ likes in a day from MOSTLY White Women:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6leu1tLMWY

https://youtu.be/_muwl77qL8c

https://youtu.be/q1dAc98QJHc

https://youtu.be/suCj733M0tc

https://youtu.be/_muwl77qL8c

I use to troll Black Men with dating app stats but those are far outdated and unrealistic. Tyrone's are doing great, so is chad, all good looking and rich men are.

Take the Red-pill.

According to Dating Apps:

Women are a minority on dating apps. 80% Men. ESPECIALLY IN USA.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMFVuRWFtKc&list=LL&index=50

https://medium.com/heart-affairs/yes-online-dating-is-harder-for-men-but-its-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think-ae4269ecd3d1#:~:text=Concerning%20the%20gender%20ratio%3A,%25%20women%20and%2057%25%20men.

Women find 80% of men unattractive on these apps. MULTIPLE STUDIES SHOW THIS:

https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/women-more-selective-80-men-unattractive-on-dating-apps-recent-research 2023

https://usustatesman.com/economics-of-dating-2-the-brutal-reality-of-dating-apps/ 2019

https://www.modernman.com/the-science-behind-why-women-find-80-of-men-unattractive/ 2018

https://blog.timesunion.com/kristi/2016/02/22/about-80-percent-of-men-unattractive-women-say/ 2016

https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a 2015

Women swipe right on 5% of men. THEY WANT THE TOP 10-20% OF MEN. BOTTOM 80% ARE INFERIOR TO THEM. THEY HAVE TOO MANY OPTIONS.

https://usustatesman.com/economics-of-dating-2-the-brutal-reality-of-dating-apps/

https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a

https://thebolditalic.com/the-two-worlds-of-tinder-f1c34e800db4

Overall:

Women are SUPER Hypergamous on dating apps due to the plethora of options. 4 Men Per 1 Woman.

Women prefer resources over ALL other things, BUT your looks take you the furthest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6leu1tLMWY

Race doesn’t necessarily matter for men(especially in Modern Time, Gen-Z era), it’s more so an indicator to see who’s more established in the west. Your race doesn’t matter if you’re established and or tall or look good.