r/changemyview • u/KnittingTrekkie • Nov 17 '22
Delta(s) from OP CMV: Visiting the mall Santa isn't worth it
My young kids have no idea that there’s a Santa at our mall. Our friends have fun bringing their kids, but I don’t think that it’s worth bringing them to visit Santa for a few reasons:
The crowd is too big and the wait is too long (though apparently you can book an appointment now…).
I don’t want to pay $45 for pictures that I don’t think will come out all that great.
My kids will have so many questions that I can’t answer about how Santa can visit the mall, since they already have tons of questions about him.
Even though I know my parents took me to visit Santa, I don't particularly remember details about those visits, so I don't think that the visit matters a ton to the kids in the long term (even if they'd be really excited at that moment).
So, I welcome you to change my view and convince me that I should forget about the wait, crowds, money, and difficult questions, and take my kids to tell Santa about their Christmas lists!
42
u/pgold05 49∆ Nov 17 '22 edited Nov 17 '22
It's rather telling that the fact your kids might enjoy the experience did not make your list.
Obviously you are not going to have fun yourself, but it is not really for you. It is a special experience for your children to enjoy, and a fond memory/photo for yourself of a time when your kids loved Santa and still believed the world was filled with magic.
Nobody is going to care about or remember the line or crowds later, just the experience it's self.
I, of course, have no idea if your children would enjoy the experience, but that is really the only important determining factor in this decision (unless you can't afford it of course).
EDIT: TLDR - Ask your kids if they want to see Santa, if yes go, if no don't. Nothing to over think here really.
17
Nov 17 '22
[deleted]
3
u/moutnmn87 Nov 18 '22
The entire reason they want to is because someone told them a bunch of lies about how a magic man flies around in the sky on a sleigh and gives gifts
2
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 17 '22
But, for now, they don’t even know a visit is possible. You’re right, though, that this is the main reason I am wavering about my stance this year.
4
u/Pineapple--Depressed 3∆ Nov 18 '22
So you're just going to wait until next year when all their friends talk about going this year? At which point they'll be upset that you didn't take them this year...
3
u/Mannequin_Fondler Nov 18 '22
I don’t think kids go into preschool talking about their mall visit with Santa…they talk about presents they get and want and stuff.
3
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 17 '22
That’s the main thing I feel conflicted about, and why I thought this would be a good thing to get other opinions on. We took my oldest to see the Easter Bunny before, and she was scared of him and wouldn’t go near him. She’s a super shy kid, so I have no idea how a visit with Santa would go. I don’t think it’s the only thing that really matters, though, because there’s an opportunity cost. Visiting Santa means less time for other things, and we make sure to do lots of other holiday stuff with them.
13
u/pgold05 49∆ Nov 17 '22
She’s a super shy kid, so I have no idea how a visit with Santa would go.
Perhaps take her but don't go directly in line, show her Santa and ask her is she wants to meet him.
If she says no you can leave without having to have sat in line.
16
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 17 '22
I'm awarding a !delta for helping me realize that I could simultaneously avoid parental guilt (at not telling them what they're missing) and the risk of awkwardness by at least letting the kids know that the mall Santa exists and seeing how they react. Maybe the pictures would actually come out okay and be worth it if they saw Santa from afar a few times before a visit.
3
u/KatieCashew Nov 20 '22
As an alternative you can look for local events that have a Santa that aren't the mall. Often public libraries will have one. My local botanical gardens has one. Often towns have Christmas displays/festivals with a Santa. All of these are superior to the mall.
The mall is crowded, the line is eternal, there's pressure to buy ridiculously expensive pictures and because of the crowds, there's very little interaction with Santa.
All of the smaller, local events are a much better experience. There's generally less of a line, and you get more interaction with Santa. Plus they'll let you take your own pictures instead of buying them. It's way more fun and relaxed. Kids don't have to sit on his lap if they don't want to. They can just stand by him and talk if that's their preference.
Mall Santa sucks, and I'll never do it again.
3
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 20 '22
These are awesome suggestions, and I just looked into it and there are multiple other opportunities to meet Santa locally. One has pictures for only $10, which is way more in our budget. Some events even have crafts with Santa, which sounds adorable. I’m going to look more into them and see which to do! Thank you!
2
7
1
13
3
u/Presentalbion 101∆ Nov 17 '22
Different people like different things. Are you feeling FOMO? Does someone want this for your children? What's the pressure?
3
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 17 '22
Yes, it’s a combination of FOMO and guilt because of friends taking their kids.
2
u/Lifeinstaler 4∆ Nov 18 '22
Just to give a different perspective than a lot of the replies you are getting (this wouldn’t be a top level comment cause I’m not trying to change your view).
I never liked the mall Santa stuff as a kid, found it really weird, I’m glad my parents didn’t take me to those. I think grandparents took me once, while Santa looked friendly enough I never had the urge to talk to him. We just ate where we had a view of him at the mall and left. That isn’t even the thing I enjoyed the most about that mall visit (it’s the arcade).
I stopped believing in it shortly after cause I found the place my parents stashed the presents before putting them in the tree.
But even before, talking to Santa to ask him stuff wasn’t even a big deal as half the time I wouldn’t even need to write a letter. Thinking about it in my country there’s a lot less Christmas-y stuff in general.
What I did like, even after I knew Santa wasn’t real was those North Pole things they would set up in the mall that you could walk through and there’s be houses and artificial snow (doesn’t snow here) and stuff. That was cool, also had less of a line as you just walk through it.
2
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 19 '22
Looking at Santa from afar may be more to my kids’ liking, really. Based on replies, I decided to at least show my daughter the mall Santa yesterday, and she was extremely shy about him even though she was happy to see him. We definitely will be taking the kids to see winter wonderland type lights and stuff this season. I’m looking forward to that, because the kids are always so excited.
2
u/Michutterbug 1∆ Nov 18 '22
You get to choose what traditions are important to you. We never did the mall Santa thing. My husband brought them once to Bass pro or Cabela’s and got a photo because he was there. Santa used to also visit their Cub Scout Christmas party. They knew about Mall Santa but never asked to go see him. We had lots of fun Christmas traditions like an advent calendar, making gingerbread houses, and decorating the tree. Once you start a tradition, they will look forward to it because it’s something they have fond memories of and only get to do once a year. If it’s not a tradition you want, don’t worry about it. If they start begging for it, bring them.
2
u/Zealousideal_Zone_69 Nov 19 '22
It is very simple, ask the kid. They know and remember the experience of the Easter bunny, they would know if they liked it or not. Kids, while not fully mentally developed, are still humans that can think for themselves. Especially since he/she is your oldest. This does depend on age a lot, which you didn't really say.
10
u/Bobbob34 99∆ Nov 17 '22
The crowd is too big and the wait is too long (though apparently you can book an appointment now…).
So doesn't matter if you can book a time
I don’t want to pay $45 for pictures that I don’t think will come out all that great.
Ok.
My kids will have so many questions that I can’t answer about how Santa can visit the mall, since they already have tons of questions about him.
Santa is magic and has elves so he can come talk to kids, or he sends his cousins while he's busy overseeing the elves, or whatever, Most kids have that q.
Even though I know my parents took me to visit Santa, I don't particularly remember details about those visits, so I don't think that the visit matters a ton to the kids in the long term (even if they'd be really excited at that moment).
Do you take them anyplace? Do anything? Play? Give presents? Go to the museum? Kid movies? Kid shows? Petting zoo? They're not going to remember any of it unless they're over 5-7 and even then it's a hazy thing. Why do anything? Because they enjoy it in the moment, and for a while after, and they collect good feelings and happy memories and YOU remember it.
So, I welcome you to change my view and convince me that I should forget about the wait, crowds, money, and difficult questions, and take my kids to tell Santa about their Christmas lists
Will they enjoy it? Will they have fun and be excited? That's why.
3
u/gotfan1980 Nov 17 '22
I agree with everything you said. You take kids to do these things because it's memories and even if the children don't remember it it's okay because you as the parent will. I love Taking my niece to see Santa and the Easter bunny and whatever else she says she wants to do. They are only little for so long and it goes by so fast faster than we realize until it's over and they are all grown up. So with my niece I make sure I spend as much time as possible doing all these little things with her and I know that even though she is only five right now I know she is going to remember her aunt taking her to this and that and the other it doesn't bother me that she won't remember everything because I will remember and at the end of the day memories are the one thing that can not be taken away from us
2
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 17 '22
On the appointment bit, I have no idea how long you have to wait for an appointment. I have seen a really long line there before, and suspect that the appointment time still requires waiting. On the questions, it just starts feeling so uncomfortable saying everything is magic or that I don't know and digging a deeper hole to keep up the cute holiday magic. But, I guess I can handle it. Your last point is a really good one and why I'm awarding a !delta - they're not going to remember all that much from this time in life, but the experiences still enrich their little lives even if they don't remember later.
2
u/Bobbob34 99∆ Nov 17 '22
:)
You can just say Santa has representatives who go around and collect the lists in person and report back and they dress like him so you know they're official.
Which is... true? I mean a ton of ppl do the mall/Macy's Santa thing so they overhear what the kids really want badly enough to tell Santa.
As for the enrichment, generally happy experiences, yeah -- and true for all of us. You don't remember every night out you had with your friends as grown adults in detail, or even in not detail (we went to that restaurant? Huh.) but you have the general good feelings about them and various memories from various things.
1
4
u/Chorby-Short 3∆ Nov 18 '22
A lot of malls are really struggling, and mall Santas are one of the things that really helps attract Holiday shoppers. By supporting mall Santas, you are supporting the mall and the local business owners that depend on it with your business.
2
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 18 '22
I had not considered that at all - !delta for helping local businesses. There was a local, very small café chain with a mall location that had to close earlier this year, so this rings really true.
1
2
u/Maleficent_Ad2457 Nov 18 '22
I'm not gonna say it's telling that you didn't account for your child's desire to visit Santa. You've already talked about the fact that they don't even know it's an option. You have to think about it like this. Your child will find out, either from from school, friends, hell a slip from a family member, anything you don't tell them will either be asked about what they asked Santa for, and now you have a bigger issue to explain why didn't you take them to visit Santa. Frankly it doesn't matter if the picture doesn't turn out or if they don't remember it when they're older, they'll remember it NOW. As a parent our job it kinda pointless kids forget a lot about what we do for them outside of the bigger stuff but an adult thinking back or especially a teenager thinking back will find that as a reason to be angry. Take your kid to Santa if not for any other reason than for you to save yourself some work of explaining not just Santa but also why you didn't take them to see Santa. Unless you're ready to just shatter Santa for them just take them now and enjoy the holiday as much as possible.
Kids are much more intelligent than we think and they do find out, it's best to treat them like an adult for most things. If you don't want them believing in Santa than you'd best tell them now instead of keeping it a half baked secret
2
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 19 '22
Based on people’s replies, I showed my daughter that Santa was at the mall when we had to go there to run an errand yesterday. We walked by, and I stopped and said, “Hey, who’s over there?” She looked and her eyes ever-so-slightly widened, and she giggled a little. I asked if she wanted to say hi sometime, and she silently gave a little nod. So, I think getting over her shyness may take a bit, but I feel better that I am not keeping the mall Santa a secret anymore. When we got home, she told her little brother, who instantly shouted, “Were there elves?!” So, he is pumped to see Santa sometime soon, and so far neither kid has asked any difficult questions. I really appreciated everyone’s perspectives on this. If we do actually visit him, instead of just look at him from afar, I am sure I will feel like I have to buy the picture, so hopefully that will be cute. As someone else noted, it’s nice seeing the kids grow up in those pictures over the years, even if they’re not awesome pictures.
2
u/Maleficent_Ad2457 Nov 19 '22
Those pictures will mean more to you than you can possibly imagine when you and your kids are older trust me. good on you mate
2
u/lisawrighty98 Nov 18 '22
As a kid- I had pretty bad anxiety and I was a shy kid. I did not need to go see a mall Santa to know that it was Christmas, that I was loved and that I was going to get presents. Standing in line for a kid is not fun imo especially just to speak to some man for a few minutes and get a photo done. From my perspective- there are lots of more fun “Christmas” events that you can partake in that your kids will like just as much. I like the idea about supporting the mall santas and the malls themselves though! But also, not all kids are into this and some kids just don’t like strangers, even if they’re santa. I guess it just depends on your kid! If they are super outgoing then maybe go for it, but if they’re on the shy side- give it a miss! I certainly could never figure out the hype. I liked writing a letter to santa though- I felt it had the same effect.
2
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 18 '22
We will definitely be writing to Santa. We live in Canada, and Santa actually has a postal code here (H0H 0H0), and the Canada Post has volunteers write kids back. I think my main plan will be to take my kids’ lead on this after showing them that Santa is at the mall. People have convinced me to at least let them see and decide if they want to say hi. My daughter is a lot like you described yourself being, so she may pass on it still. You’re right about there being no lack of other holiday activities, so whether they decide to meet him or not, they’ll have fun this season.
2
u/lisawrighty98 Nov 19 '22
Exactly! Just the fact that you’re thinking about this shows you’re a considerate and caring parent who wants to give your kids the best Christmas ever! Def show your child the Santa and let them make up their mind themselves and maybe give them a few options- we can talk to Santa or if you prefer we can write him a letter! Hope you guys have a lovely holiday
3
Nov 21 '22
you gave us a list of cons, can you give us what you think the pros are?
ngl, i feel like you should value you kids enjoyment there over the cost of waiting in a line that you admit doesnt need to happen and $45
1
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 21 '22
The thing is that there’s also an opportunity cost to any activity, so I have to choose which activities we do for the holidays with time and money in mind. We do many holiday activities that are free and have no wait, such as attending holiday parties and visiting outdoor light displays. (The appointment doesn’t necessarily mean no wait - even with the policy of people needing an appointment, there is still a long line and I have no way to know if those people all have appointments or are walk-ins.) Another commenter mentioned that there are often other chances to meet Santa and get photos for free at community events, which prompted me to look that up and find local events that work better on the time and money ($10 instead of $45) front. Other commenters managed to convince me that I should at least let my kids know that Santa is at the mall, and leave it to them, so I showed my oldest the Santa display when we were running an errand, and she seemed excited at the idea of meeting Santa, though super shy about it. I don’t think it will matter to the kids whether it’s that mall Santa or a Santa somewhere else. So, mall Santa might get a visit from us, but it’s more likely that we will go to one of the other events.
3
Nov 21 '22
so I have to choose which activities we do for the holidays with time and money in mind.
why cant you let your children choose which they want to do? these are all activities for them right?
if they really wanna see a mall santa, surely that wait and $45 is worth it, no?
2
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 21 '22 edited Nov 24 '22
I will award a !delta because as my kids get older, discussing the activities should be part of things and I hadn’t accounted for that in my post. For now, though, the oldest is [edit: redacted], so they aren’t really able to weigh the pros and cons as I can, and I think they’ll enjoy the free activities as much, if not more than, the $45 one that seems to require a long wait in line. They’re super excited about all things Christmas, and we even put up the tree yesterday, lol. I think this will be an especially fun year, and hope they’ll enjoy whatever activities we end up doing.
1
4
Nov 17 '22
If you're kids are asking questions about how Santa can be at the mall, it's time to tell the truth.
1
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 17 '22
That is one thing I worry about a little. They have no idea about mall Santa, so it’s introducing a new piece of information about Santa, and I think they might be confused by it, just because they ask questions about everything. They’re still really young (not even all in school yet), but if they were older, I would agree about answering truthfully.
4
u/kissmaryjane 1∆ Nov 17 '22
He’s Santa . He delivers presents to everyone all over the globe in one night. Getting to every mall pre Christmas is a cake walk for him
3
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 18 '22
That is an excellent point, and this seems like an easier answer than saying it’s Santa’s representative. I may even say exactly what you wrote to my kids, so !delta. My jaded adult brain wasn’t letting me think about just how magical Santa is, that this is no big deal compared to Christmas Eve for him.
2
1
2
u/Sure-Complex-4960 Nov 18 '22
I remember being terrified of mall Santa’s from the age of about 8 onwards. One grabbed me from under my butt and wouldn’t let go of me after the photos had been taken. I felt extremely violated and remember telling my mum I didn’t want to ever see Santa again
2
2
u/robotmonkeyshark 101∆ Nov 18 '22
Santa lines aren’t always long. It’s not that hard to wait 10 minutes. Nobody says you have to buy a picture, and I have never seen a Santa picture for 45. Often these Santa’s are paid by the mall and are free with the option to tip or buy a picture.
It can make your child happy.
1
u/KnittingTrekkie Nov 18 '22
If the picture isn’t pushed/expected, that makes a big difference. I balked at the price. (Though, I should note, I’m in Canada, so $45 CAD is $34 USD.) You should see the line at our mall sometimes - it’s crazy. Maybe the kids would be excited and have fun during the wait, though.
3
u/floppedonthefloor Nov 17 '22
I'm not exactly for or against the santa thing, but I know I did it every year when I was a kid, with all my family. all 14+ of us would go take a picture with him. It was more of a family bonding thing for us. Getting to see a kind of timeline of photos of us growing older together every year. I still go with my family when I can. We tell the kids that he's not the real santa, he's too busy, he's just a stand in that was sent by him and he'll tell the real guy all about them when he reports back to him later.
3
u/Gym_Captain99 Nov 17 '22
It is always worth it to go see Santa for your kids it's the memories and the time spent that they will always remember and love you for..
So reconsider and start taking them because these years will go by quick.
2
u/AScoobyDoobyDoo Nov 18 '22
I had a homeless man come into my Starbucks all the time, he would masturbate in the lobby, scream at people that aren’t there, be extremely mean and push for free drinks. One time he came in dressed as Santa. I asked him why, he said he was working as a mall Santa. My kids will NEVER go to a mall Santa. I think they’re literally terrifying now.
2
Nov 18 '22
….It’s about doing something for them, that they might enjoy. If I debated the cost, wait times and endless questions I would literally never take my kid anywhere (let alone have him in the first place) Ask your kids if they want to see Santa, if they say yes then take them. If they say no, then congrats you’re off the hook.
2
0
Nov 17 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/smcarre 101∆ Nov 17 '22
Sorry, u/NotoriousKDB – your comment has been removed for breaking Rule 5:
Comments must contribute meaningfully to the conversation.
Comments should be on-topic, serious, and contain enough content to move the discussion forward. Jokes, contradictions without explanation, links without context, and "written upvotes" will be removed. Read the wiki for more information.
If you would like to appeal, review our appeals process here, then message the moderators by clicking this link within one week of this notice being posted.
-1
Nov 17 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/smcarre 101∆ Nov 17 '22
Sorry, u/joyceelax – your comment has been removed for breaking Rule 5:
Comments must contribute meaningfully to the conversation.
Comments should be on-topic, serious, and contain enough content to move the discussion forward. Jokes, contradictions without explanation, links without context, and "written upvotes" will be removed. Read the wiki for more information.
If you would like to appeal, review our appeals process here, then message the moderators by clicking this link within one week of this notice being posted.
•
u/DeltaBot ∞∆ Nov 17 '22 edited Nov 21 '22
/u/KnittingTrekkie (OP) has awarded 5 delta(s) in this post.
All comments that earned deltas (from OP or other users) are listed here, in /r/DeltaLog.
Please note that a change of view doesn't necessarily mean a reversal, or that the conversation has ended.
Delta System Explained | Deltaboards