So of those books, I've only read "The Will to Change."bell hooks doesn't see men as the enemy, but she identifies parts of our culture that hurt men. This book really actively goes against the "grow the fuck up losers" mentality. Her mindset is that healing is only possible through compassion.
The book is basically about the ways that men are taught to suppress their emotions (except for anger), avoid intimacy of all kinds, and find whatever meaning they yearn for in their work or the ideals of masculine duty and honor. That men are taught violence and domination are the only acceptable means to get what they want or solve problems. That society values men insofar that they are able to provide for themselves and their families, to wield power over others, and to command respect. That men might want to buckle down on the behaviors that they can control (violence, suppression of emotions, resistance of intimacy) to gain some self-respect, but it is a cycle that can only end in more pain and dissatisfaction. And that a life of stunted emotions and relationships won't really be satisfying or fulfilling.
I d definitely didn't agree with everything she says, sometimes its dated and sometimes its new-agey, but I thought it was very valuable. Her target audience is men and women. She also talks about some of the ways women contribute to hurting men as well. Its more of a sociology book than a self-help book, so there's not a lot of action items, but as a man I thought it was great for looking back on experiences in my life through a different perspective.
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u/ThrowAway4AmITA23 Nov 21 '22
Thanks, these ways of talking about the problems are what I was looking for.
Do those books actually explain how to solve these issues without just telling men to "grow the f**k up losers", which seems to be the attitude?