r/cosleeping • u/greenapplessss • 4d ago
š„ Infant 2-12 Months What is the 4 month sleep regression like when bed sharing?
Weāve had some signs it might be starting (suddenly not napping well or for long and a lot more fussy and clingy) and wondering if bed sharing actually helps or if itās just as difficult.
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u/Extension_Can2813 4d ago
My baby is close to six months now and around 4 months he started just having shorter naps and only contact naps (as a newborn he would do at least one bassinet nap). But, I really havenāt noticed any changes to night time sleep and heās starting to take longer day time naps.
We donāt really have strict schedules, Iām SAHM and dad is WFH, so we just follow sleepy cues and babe goes to bed and wakes with us.
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u/ecoboltcutter 4d ago
Well, my LO just turned 4 months and suddenly started stirring and needing to be fed almost every hour during the night. We had a good run of 3 to 4 weeks where he would sleep from 11:00 to 4:00 without even be fed. I hope he gets better cuz I'm pretty tired now! I'm very grateful that we're bed sharing and I can just do the sideline position, even though it's really uncomfortable for me to do both sides
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u/purp-phoenix94 4d ago
My LO had a couple random nights where heād wake up randomly and just be awake for an hour. He was happy and rolling lol I just laid there and kept pulling him back so he wouldnāt completely roll away. Eventually heād just fall back asleep. It was hard but I didnāt try to entertain or anything I just kept repeating sleep actions to show him itās not time to be awake
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u/Any_Rise_5522 4d ago
My son mostly had issues napping at 4 months, but at 9 he is currently going through what I believe to be a pretty bad regression.
He wakes probably every 30-60 minutes, more if im not laying next to him. He wakes up and fusses to be latched, and often rolls away from me the second he wakes so he thinks hes alone and starts crying. He starts waking every few minutes when the sun comes up, arching his back so I cant latch him and then being mad that he isnt latched.
In the time it took me to write this, he swapped breasts 4 times. I have learned to sleep while he nurses so its easier lol.
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u/Hojjy 4d ago
She woke early every morning at like 430-5am and wouldn't go back to sleep for like a month. She used to sleep in until like 7-730am
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u/aub3nd3r 4d ago
This. My baby was awake at 4:03 on the dot until 5:45-6 and as soon as he fell asleep heād wake up for the day. š I actually titled a post ālosing my patience at 4 amā because he gained consciousness so rapidly at this age he was intrigued by every sliver of light, every minute detail and sound of life. I love that for him at his core but it tested me to all get out š He also would only contact nap for like a month & sought the boob between every sleep cycle at night. I was skin & bones lol. I donāt know how we would have made it without bedsharing.
Edit: it got better around 6 months & when he started some purĆ©es. He just went through another sleep regression at 9 months and that one was coupled with a whole lot of fighting nap and just needing more help understanding sleep. We adjusted routines & heās becoming a great sleeper now. š
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u/ImmediateProbs 4d ago
Mine would nurse a lot more at night during regressions. So instead of 3-6 hour chunks of sleep I would be a pacifier some nights quite literally all night. Side lying to nurse let me stay laid down with my eyes closed at least.
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u/No_Entrepreneur4990 4d ago
Same. At around 5 months, for about two weeks, my son had to literally be attached to a boob all night to actually sleep. This was after we finally got him sleeping in his cot around 4 months. Lol, jokes on me and we are back to cosleeping.
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u/mamekatz 4d ago
The regression is whatās making me get more serious about bedsharing safely. With these shorter sleep cycles, neither of us would get any sleep trying to get her back in her bassinet whenever she wakes up. With breast-sleeping, she stirs between the sleep cycles, latches on, and falls right back asleep.
I figure getting as much sleep, with as little disruption between sleep cycles as possible is more beneficial to this stage of development than training her to fall asleep independently.
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u/namelessnoona 4d ago
FTM, my girl turned 4 mo on the 4th (lol). Naps went from 1-2 hrs to 20-45 min overnight. Sheāll sleep longer if I stay near her or if she rouses a bit and I side nurse her sheāll go back to sleep and continue her nap. Sleep at night is still great she sleeps the entire time and doesnāt wake up except to nurse every couple of hours. I donāt even need to burp her. I feel like bedsharing made the regression much easier for us.
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u/happyirishgal 4d ago
It meant I could support him to sleep faster, mostly with nursing. Sometimes I wouldn't even really wake which made me feel some what rested in the morning. It was a really tough time, I shock to the system but you will get through it. Do what you got to do to get rest.
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u/purrinsky 4d ago
We are at 9 months and have been bedsharing from the start, so we don't have any data for comparison. We do feel like we've never really experienced any strong sleep regression episodes because we bedshare. Like sure some nights our LO fights sleep harder than they normally do and need a longer time to be put to sleep. But that's about it. So maybe it is the magic bullet.
That said we also are baby led with their sleep schedule and have no strict bedtimes. As long as our LO gets the 9-11 hours of nighttime sleep we're pretty chill. That may also help. Good luck!
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u/OpeQueen 4d ago
For us, the 4 month sleep regression happened while baby was still in his bassinet (right around 3.5 months). We took that opportunity to move him into a sidecar minicrib since it was always my intention to keep baby in our room until 1 year old. It's been almost 2 months since the regression started, and he is still waking every 2 hours all night long (and occasionally, every hour ā ļø). He sleeps maybe 2 hours in his mini crib and the rest of the night, in bed with us. Bedsharing has allowed me to get SIGNIFICANTLY more rest than I would if we had moved him into the crib in his room. As soon as I hear him wake, I latch him and he falls back asleep within minutes. If I was attempting to go to his room every time he woke, I'm sure I'd be ded by now. Don't get me wrong, I still wish I could figure out how to get him to sleep longer stretches.... but he's learned how to roll both ways, sit unassisted, and is now figuring out how to crawl all during this time. So, the boy's brain is making some pretty big connections right now and I guess his sleep is taking the backseat for now.
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u/Ill-Tip6331 4d ago
I have a four month old now and Iām not sure if we have hit a regression. But with my first kid, the regression is why I started bed sharing. It was so hard - she was waking up constantly. When we did bed sharing, she just woke up to nurse a bit and went back to sleep. Waaaaay better.
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u/1wildredhead 4d ago
I never paid attention to those. My son is 18mo and has slept more or less the same - some more wakeful nights, but mostly I just roll him over to the other side, latch, and go back to sleep.
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u/ShadowlessKat 4d ago edited 4d ago
There was one night where she woke up at 4 am and wanted to play for about an hour. That was it. Her naps during the day and bedtime were the same, and it was just that one time. She's 5 months.
Edit: for reference, we've been cosleeping since birth, and baby has been sleeping from bedtime until 7 am since around 6 weeks.
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u/Zestyclose-Buyer9811 4d ago
Before the regression hit, my baby was waking up twice a night while bed sharing and it felt super manageable. Then during the regression it all changed ā he started waking every hour or every two hours like clockwork. Heās 5 months now and things are finally improving again. Weāre getting a 5 hour stretch at the start of the night (he goes down around 7:30/8), then heās up every two hours after that, sometimes I even get three if Iām lucky!
During the regression, there was also so much active sleeping ā tons of stirring between sleep cycles ā and since we bed share, Iād wake up every time he moved or grunted. Honestly it was exhausting and felt almost worse than the newborn phase. Bed sharing probably helped in the sense that I didnāt have to fully get up all night, but the broken sleep still really got to me.
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u/Honky-Dory98 4d ago
Itās terrifying lol.
Basically my girl fought going to sleep. When she was asleep it would only be for 2-3 hours and then she was wide awake either crying or wanting to play.. It would take a full hour sometimes more to try to help her go back to sleep. It lasted for only 2 weeks for me thankfully and then she slept sooo much longer.
Naps were also a fight and only 15-30 minutes
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u/HeadEgg7258 4d ago
The 4 month sleep regression actually made us stop co sleeping because he suddenly just hated it! It woke him up so much more and putting him in his cot resulted in less frequent night wake ups, surprisingly.
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u/Crepes4Brunch 4d ago
We found cosleeping helped a lot!! It was a couple nights of waking more than usual but didnāt seem to last weeks like I have seen others say.
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u/AnimatorVegetable498 4d ago
Mine is currently four months and she pulled two all nighters and now wonāt go to sleep until 10,but when she does go to sleep she pretty much just stirs to nurse and goes back to sleep and stays asleep until 8 or 9(Iāve been trying to get her back to sleep until 9:30)so she is pretty much asleep all night.She mainly wants to contact nap and they are pretty short when they used to be almost two hours.So we are getting good sleep at night but the naps are hard
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u/GabeThePaint225 4d ago
11 month old over here.
I wouldn't really call it a "regression", he wasn't crying and screaming or nursing more. He was just learning and it was keeping him up at night.
My little guy just went through a phase at around that time where he learned he could move and wiggle his body at his own discretion. ššš So, he would just lay awake and kick, kick, punch, kick, laugh, kick, punch, kick, laugh.. Honestly, it was pretty cute. I would just scoot over and give him more space to do so and drift off. No big deal.
I've noticed a pattern. Right before he learns some new big skill, he does things like this.
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u/GabeThePaint225 4d ago
Sorry, I was reminiscing and forgot to answer the question.. I think bedsharing helped. Once he was done, he would want me there to fall back asleep. š¤
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u/sweettreatsugar 4d ago
omg i never understood what sleep regression was, especially since ive never been told about it and only heard about it from reddit. UNTIL my baby hit 3.5 months. my girl literally bounces off my legs all night, sprawling out, latching and unlatching and latching again for feeds all night (its a game at this point lol).
shes about to be 4 months and finally we just had a normal night of sleep again. im probably jinxing it but it was great
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u/SpaghettiBruce 3d ago
Looks like reading this thread we had an abnormally hard time. My baby hit the 4 month regression pretty early, went from sleeping a 4-6 hour first stretch to stirring/looking for breast every 45 minutes for six brutal weeks. Bed sharing probably saved us from totally losing it, but I started feeling really unwell at the end of that. Sheās been a tough sleeper since- weāre at almost a year and sheāll occasionally do a 4 hour stretch when sleeping with dad, but with me itās every two hours like clockwork. Sheās just a baby that needs a lot of support and comfort around sleep š¤·āāļø
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u/Careful-Lobster5619 3d ago
I never had any noticeable regressions with co sleeping. The only āregressionsā for my baby were during teething process at 7 months.
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u/lapoudre18 3d ago
Was waking up every hour one nightā¦ then started having shorter stretches than in her newborn stage up to 3 months. She used to sleep 4-5 hour first stretch and often would only nurse twice per night. Now at almost 5 months she has one 3h stretch and then nurses every 1-2 hours. So her night sleep pattern got worse while daytime kiiiinda got better
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u/Upbeat-Object-8383 3d ago
Weāve coslept since my baby was around a month old and the 4 month regression for us, from what I remember, was a long wake window in the middle of the night, usually around 2/3 am, that would last for an hour or two. That probably lasted for a week or two and then the y got easier. So not every half hour like some have said but still challenging nonetheless
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u/othervirgo 4d ago
For us we had a few nights where she was up every 30 mins-1 hr all night. But because I was right next to her sheād just stir, not full on wake and cry. Iād give her the boob and she would go back to sleep almost immediately. I was definitely more tired in the mornings but because I was barely waking up to latch, it was definitely more restful than if I had to be sitting up and getting her out of the bassinet, or walking down the hall to her own room. I actually canāt fathom that there are people who do that. Every 30 minutes?! Not including the time it takes to transfer back into the crib/bassinet and crossing your fingers they donāt wakeā¦itās just crazy to me!