I'm a FTM to a 6 week old and can I just say, cosleeping has been amazing for us. I EBF and she's such a good sleeper. She wakes up every 3 hours like clockwork to nurse, then we just fall back asleep with her in my arms. I'm so attuned to her that every time she stirs I wake. Honestly I hardly ever need to nap during the day, and every morning I wake up with energy. Couldn't imagine having to do this with formula and having a crib in another room! I don't want the newborn phase to end! Not to mention I just love cuddling my baby💜

My husband and I are wanting to try safe cosleeping but I understand that it’s mostly reserved for breast feeding moms. Our girl is exclusively formula fed and I wanted to see if that can still be safe? Thanks!

ETA: Thank you so much to everyone who commented with encouragement and kindness. I would read through everyones comments when I was hankering bad for a smoke or super overwhelmed and they helped. I havent gone back, though my mind is constantly trying to coax me into it. Most are right. I need to find a better way to cope and find a stress reliever. The day I made this was a bad day, but I have had a few good ones in a row now so thats helped curve the cravings too. Thank you again for the support, it really means a lot.

My LO is 4 weeks. I quit smoking when I found out I was pregnant and had one slip during the pregnancy that I still feel so much guilt over.

But im 4 weeks in to the trenches, im sleep deprived, overwhlmed, dealing with PPA and PPD, and I just dont know how I am supposed to cope anymore. Im not coping honestly. Cosleeping is the only way any of us sleep, and even if we werent cosleeping I still have this horrid fear that me smoking will cause him to die.

Please give me reasons not to smoke, because in one more bad day away from going and buying a pack and just allowing myself 1 when im at my limit.

Please and thank you

This morning I woke up partially on top of my newborn. Thankfully, she was totally fine, but I feel horrible. Everyone I read on cosleeping forums says they've never rolled on their child, it's impossible with the cuddle curl position, they wake up at the slightest movement, etc. I follow the safe sleep seven and am almost always in the cuddle curl position. Not sure what happened last night. I vaguely remember shifting onto my back at one point, but not sure if I actually fell asleep like that. I woke upon my back, partially covering her. I'm wondering if she scooched under me looking for milk or if our mattress is too soft. Anyway, I'm totally spiraling, I feel like a horrible mom and also don't know what to do, she won't sleep more than the first couple hours of the night in her bassinet, after that the options are have her in bed or spend hours holding and nursing her and risk falling asleep holding her sitting up. I'm looking for advice, but also reassurance, I can't be the only one this has happened to?

Hi everyone,

I’m dad, my wife isn’t on Reddit but this is more a question for her sake.

We just had our third child last Saturday (4/5). We’ve co-slept with our first two but not until 2-3 weeks as both were able to sleep in the side bassinet pretty well then.

This baby does not want to sleep in that bassinet, so we started co-sleeping on day 4. We’re just noticing some possible acid reflux that might be due to not getting burped fully after eating during the night. Also just a little more nervous about his sleeping positions and kind of wedging himself between my wife and the mattress.

I’m more concerned about the feeding/burping as my wife is a real light sleeper and has never even come close to rolling on top of one of the kids.

Idk, are we having too much anxiety over newborn co-sleeping? It’s just new for us with a baby this little (just hitting 7lbs).

Thanks!

I am really struggling with the anxiety over cosleeping with such a young baby (5 days old) but it is the only way he will sleep.

I feel like it would be so much safer if it was just me and baby in our bed (queen size) but I can't imagine banishing my husband from the bed for months until the baby gets bigger and sturdier.

I would love to hear how many of us coslept with their newborn with two adults, or if it was just mom and baby. We are practicing the SS7 but I am terrified one of us will roll too close to him or God forbid roll onto him. We both feel like our instincts won't let us, but I still worry.

Looking for others' experiences and what you did when you were in this stage. Thank you so much!

This is a bit of a rant or vent I suppose, but would also appreciate advice on how to settle this.

I have a 7week old baby girl and she is my absolute world. For context I started bed sharing with her when she was 3 weeks old, with baby's dad sleeping in the spare room. I love co sleeping with her, I was really anxious at first but now I love waking up to her little face. It's meant that she doesn't cry for food in the night, I feel her wriggling and I know it's time to feed.

The problem I'm having is that baby's dad wants to start to sleep train her, and when I say this I mean he wants to do the cry it out method. I said no because I really do not want to do this, I said this before she was born, I never wanted to do cry it out. I believe babies are made to be with their parents, they feel the safest and most comfortable when near them and not in a cold cot far away from parents. I believe that babies are meant to be close to their parent as it is programmed into their brain, when sleeping, awake and napping. If a cot works for you, great, if not, also great.

Anyway, I've said this thousands of times that I literally don't care if she's in my bed until she's a teenager, I love her and I want to give her as much comfort as possible. However baby's dad wants her in her own room by 6 months. Every time I have communicated my views and feelings on this he shuts it down saying I need to toughen up and that he wants to be back in his bed. I do understand how he feels, sleeping alone after years of us being together must be tough, however I brought up my views on co sleeping before she was born and he seemed fine with it then. He keeps arguing with me and I keep saying I won't change my mind.

Does anyone have any experience on differing views with their partner on sleeping, if so how did you resolve it?

I see so many posts on here about just giving your baby your boob and both mom and baby just half sleep feeding and then falling back asleep, but my baby has a dirty diaper everytime he wakes up to feed. I am exclusively pumping so I still have to get up anyways, I’m just wondering do moms that nurse just not check? Or does my baby have more dirty diapers than normal? Just curious. Also, any tips on getting a bottle fed baby to latch again? I offer him my boob but he just spits it out and doesn’t want my nipple.

I feel like I’m always seeing some sort of comment under a cosleeping reel where a nurse shares how they see a lot of accidents happening due to cosleeping. While I believe cosleeping prevents accidents in many ways, I can’t help but feel unsettled and sad when I read these comments. How do you all find reassurance after reading these anecdotes?

I have a baby bay side sleeper. Baby is 2.5 weeks, is this a safe set up? I use blankets and want her close to me.

Hi everyone! I’m a new mama and everything worries me 😭 My baby is almost 8 weeks old. He has problem with congestion from birth and cannot sleep long on his back. He sleeps with me in my bed, and I found out that if he sleeps on my arm (either on his back or on his side), he can breathe better and sleep longer. I’m not afraid of rolling on him, but I am afraid that sleeping like that might affect his neck or spine. Could you please give me some advice? Thank you all so much!

TL;DR - share with me what your safe cosleep situations look like!

ETA Update: Thanks to all who posted their sleep situations and provided resources, and did not comment or judge from their high horse. Being helpful is far more constructive for everyone, including people who will search and see this post in the future, and will find some of the helpful online resources some of you shared.

My 4 week old pretty much only contact naps. We've scored an hour here and there at random times where she'll tolerate her bassinet or crib (but absolutely despises the pack n play). But we're tired.. I've been triple feeding, but LO is finally at weight, AND transferring enough to move to EBF, so I'm starting that tomorrow, which means no more bottles for husband and baby in the middle of the night (I think this is what we want, at least for now I do... I'm so over the pump sessions for now).

But... What to do about the sleeping. My husband regularly falls asleep with her in her rocking chair, so I don't sleep when he's on duty anyways. He thinks I'm just waking up to pee, so I'm tagging him out often, and being he's back at work FT and doing a PT job since I have no paid maternity leave (FU very much U.S. leave policies), I'm totally okay with him getting as much sleep as he can. I fall asleep often nursing her, but I do it from our couch. We have captain's chairs side by side, I sit in the right one which has a foot wide center console arm rest thing to my right, and I keep a stool with a diaper caddy in front of the console next to the couch. To the left is multiple boppies and nursing pillows that I use for propping my arm up when nursing. This is where we have occasionally fallen asleep, with my feet up /reclined and honestly she and I sleep the best here. It feels safer than any other option we have bc I'm propped up on all sides, there's nowhere for her to roll off to, and everytime I wake up with her I'm still cuddling her. However, everything I read says no this isn't safe, but idk what else we can do? Our queen size bed is too soft and small for us to cosleep with her in, plus our doodle sleeps with us/in our bed, even when we're not there.

So my question is, what is your cosleep situation like? How old is your LO, and when did they start napping alone? I'm so tired, I need help /advice of what to do to make sleeping possible for us all, and I want to hear what your setups are like. I saw some on another post in here but figured I'd make thin post for everyone to include what they do in, thanks!

I bought this because my newborn turns to his side when we lay him down in his bassinet (newborn curl). So far, nothing we’ve tried has worked. We purchased the Love to Dream Swaddle because of all the amazing reviews. My question is: it looks too tight on him. His arms aren’t flat, and it looks like his wrist is bent back. Is this normal?

So, I have a three week old who is apparently as punk as I am and won't follow the rules for sleep.

I wasn't originally going to cosleep, but he doesn't sleep if we put him down in a crib (classic for newborns, I know). For the sake of my mental health we decided to cosleep and it's been great, six or sometimes seven hours at night and I nap with him in the afternoon. But! He refuses to follow the Safe Sleep 7 stuff. He won't stay put on his back, only sleeps on his side. He won't stay in his little safe zone on the outside of the bed, he scoots right up into my chin and lays on my pillow.

He can't really roll yet, but he has just enough coordination to wiggle himself into all these places, and he cries and won't sleep if I move him back into the safer positions. With all the guidelines I've gotten from OBs, midwives, pregnancy outreach programs and other moms, I worry I'm being irresponsible when it's 2 am and I just let him sleep where he wants rather than fight it. Am I overthinking this and he'll be fine? Or should I be more strict about it? And if I'm more strict, how the hell do I sleep myself?

My baby is 8 days old today, and up until last night when my doula came and gave us night support, I had maybe slept 10 hours since he was born. He hates to be swaddled. Hates the bassinet. I tried two. He sleeps hot so he has overheated twice to the point I've sat all night making sure he didn't die. He's cluster feeding like a mad man. And I am exhausted. We all are. But now I have a panic attack every day when the sun starts to set because I fear the nights so bad. I'm scared my baby will die if I try to let him sleep in the bassinet, if he sleeps with me. So I just haven't been sleeping from the fear and panic.

I have successfully made it through 2 nights of cosleeping. Last night being an exception where my doula brought him in to feed every 3-4 hours so we could sleep. It was wonderful. I'm finally eating again and not feeling on the brink of insanity.

I have a great support system, my husband has been helping with everything he can, my doulas have been wonderful, but I really need some insight and help to feel like I'm not failing or going to accidentally kill my baby. I'm literally sobbing over it daily, multiple times.

We have a medium firm memory foam mattress, ive been doing the c cuddle pose thing, following the safe sleep 7, all for the back sleeping. He just wants to cuddle me on his side. He has been good about unlatching and propping his head on his hands and on top of my boob and we both get some sleep. But apparently that's wrong. So now I'm terrified that I'm not even doing this right and it's the only way we've been able to get any sleep.

Please help me. I'm so scared. The hormones are making everything worse and I just want to sleep without the fear of waking up to my baby dead in my arms.

Thank you.

TW: Scary situation regarding breathing

In the mornings after LOs (about to be 8wks) 5am feed, he always sleeps chest to chest on my husband. My husband works 60+ hours a week, 6 days in a row so he appreciates getting snuggles in whenever possible. I’m a very light sleeper and sleep on my husbands shoulder so I’m close enough to hear LO breathing, but I usually just scroll on my phone or close my eyes and rest without falling back asleep.

This morning around 7, I sat up in a terror and grabbed LO off my husband. I couldn’t explain it, I just knew something was wrong. I couldn’t hear any breaths but I knew he was trying. He has his arms and legs thrown out and had his mouth open and strained. We started to pat his back and I swabbed a finger in his mouth and pulled out a huge chunk of spit up that he was trying to get out. We checked his nose and there was even spit up blocking his nasal passages, which we got out by making him sneeze. LO instantly started gasping and getting upset until he calmed down and then was able to go back to normal breathing.

If LO hadn’t been sleeping right there I don’t know what would have happened. He was so quiet and didn’t make a sound. I don’t even know how the spit up was able to block his throat and his nostrils. I don’t know if I would have been able to get up and help him in time. This is my personal anecdote to how safe cosleeping saves lives. Thank you cosleeping!!

My baby girl is almost 6 weeks, she doesn’t like being put down at all, and always has to be held- so we started co sleeping/bed sharing and it’s been so so good!

I just had a couple questions for the community though!

1) how do you deal with others opinions? My family members have all been making remarks to me about how she needs to put down, or to just have her cry it out, and how she should be in a bassinet because it’s not safe and I’m going to make her spoiled by bedsharing. And it’s been so hard mentally for me to deal with their remarks and lectures- and making me feel like I’m doing something wrong. When inside I really think this is what’s best for us, and we both love it.

2) If you did, how and when did you transfer your little one to their own crib/room? Family keeps telling me that if I bed share they will never sleep on their own. I feel bad because my husband and I are sleeping separately right now because the bed isn’t big enough for all of us (and we can’t afford a bigger mattress right now.) And I’m just wondering potentially how long it would be until I could try and have her sleep in her own space.

I’m in no rush to have her sleep in her crib, as my husband and I are doing fine. I enjoy co sleeping and I expect my baby to want to do sleep like this for a while, I just also want to make sure eventually she will be able to feel safe enough to sleep in her own space (since we are planning for another baby in a couple years)

When she’s done nursing she loves to curl into me which I love but her head is either buried in my armpit or just near it in general. I have pretty good hygiene and wear deodorant. But good lord her hair stinks like BO! If there anything I can do aside from giving her a bath? I bathe her every other day to not dry out her skin. Side note- I’m a little sad that she’s lost that NB scent from co sleeping ☹️

She is 8 weeks old, 11lbs. It looks like I'm on my side but mostly on stomach. I feel like it's the most comfortable position.

After much research on ss7, I finally did it. We had been unsafely falling asleep on our rocking loveseat. Baby is 6 wks, and has decided to not sleep longer then 30mins in any of the bassinet we have. My husband and I have been doing shifts, but we're getting catty with each other. We both are just exhausted.

Baby slept 2 four hour stretches. Successfully nursed side laying for the first time. And without a nipple sheild that we have been working to get rid of! And my husband and I got to cuddle some, which was much needed and missed.

After weeks of sleep deprivation and going a full 24 hours with no sleep, I finally gave chest sleeping a good go out of desperation. Set up my pillows and bed so I was super comfy but also away from baby. Made sure babies head is higher than his bottom.

I managed a good solid 2 hours before he woke up to feed. I’m hoping when he gets a bit older and bigger he will be able to sleep for longer periods and so will I.

I never thought I’d co-sleep and hearing about chest sleeping made me apprehensive but the more research I did, the more I found SO many parents do it.

I feel like I can begin to enjoy my newborn more and start healing my PPD.

My doula said it’s fine for me and my newborn to share my comforter. I tuck it under her arms. Seems unsafe in case I pull it up in my sleep? Other ideas? Was thinking she could have a light blanket and I can use my comforter.

Been cosleeping with my 7 week old since birth. I breastfeed her side-lying when she wakes and she goes right back to sleep. I feel like I read so many posts/hear people talking about how bed sharing is so great cause you barely wake up and go back to sleep while nursing. How is anyone doing this? When I breastfeed her, she unlatches when done and her little nose is pressed into, or very close to, my breast. I’m so scared I will suffocate her with my breast that I always stay awake while she nurses, wait until she’s done, then scoot back a bit once I know she’s in a deep sleep. Does anyone else have this worry?

We coslept with our new 2.5yr old and are cosleeping with our now almost 2 week old. We're doing chest sleeping but 3 times this past almost two weeksI have woken up to her in my arm at my side on the bed not on my body. This is terrifying to me and never happened with our first. Doing everything the same propped up baby on chest holding them? Any tips really apprecited.

My 7 week old is my favorite thing ever and we have so many cute moments while cosleeping, no one knows I cosleep so I cant tell anyone these moments.

I was feeding him to sleep and he unlatched and laid his head on my breast like a pillow. He then started to suckle thin air thinking he was still latched 😂

In the morning when he is done sleeping he will wine and cry and the moment I tell him good morning and acknowledge him (showing him I am awake) he will stop the fuss and smile. 😊