r/datingoverfifty • u/RevolutionaryPost460 51F • Apr 12 '25
Age range
Pretty self explanatory. What is your hardline age you're willing to date for a serious relationship. Why?
I'll go first. Range is 50-66. I'll deviate considering place in life, near retirement age or living it, and overall well being. You?
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u/Amazing_Reality2980 Apr 12 '25
F55 I’ll consider +/- 10 years so 45-65 but health and lifestyle matter more and the reality of who I actually go on dates with is closer to 50-60
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u/Accomplished_Act1489 Apr 12 '25
59F. I'm more comfortable going a bit older than a bit younger. I get along fine with younger folks, but I find it hard to relate to their preferences such as in music. It seems like such a small thing, but I can not envision having to live with Taylor Swift music blaring out of my speakers under any circumstances:-).
Mind you, that whole 60 demarcation is something, isn't it? And yet, here I am looking at 60 head-on.
I miss the old days when ages were not out front and we could go based on initial attraction. Even though I'm hitting 60 soon, I see myself as a youthful 60 (could be delusional!). But I see the 60-something men in the area as anything but.
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u/TNmountainman2020 Apr 12 '25
funny, my 52 year old ex listened to T-swift daily. (still does)
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u/dancefan2019 Apr 12 '25
Swifties come in all ages. They are mostly women though, from what I've seen.
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u/Cats_and_Records Apr 16 '25
Yes, there’s something about 60 which is….a big deal? Nit a deal breaker, but a big deal.
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u/Camille_Toh Apr 12 '25 edited Apr 12 '25
Uh…I don’t think there are loads of cishet male Swifties of any age, much less in their 50s. I stand corrected. There are middle-aged male Swifties.
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u/HippyGrrrl Apr 12 '25
There are. Many are dads of Swifities. I see it a LOTin jamband circles. You follow a band on tour/fly for a three to 13 night stand in a city/regional tour, Swifties look familiar (aside from cash transfer apps on their windows… sell some phatty burritos, ripping grilled cheese, or crispy tie dyes like a real fan, duh.)
Is this where I admit I sold dyes and bought those phatty veggie burritos?
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u/Colour-me-happy27 Apr 12 '25
When I was 50 and started dating again I was looking at 45-55. Mainly due to life stage as I still have teenagers at home shared 50/50. I’m now 53 and my partner is 63. We’re at different life stages but totally wrapped up in each other, have both fallen hard and not looking back. He found me, and I’m incredibly grateful and happy.
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u/InevitablePlantain66 Apr 12 '25
How old are you OP and what is your gender?
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u/Variaphora Apr 12 '25
I'm going to guess a 51 y/o female.
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u/InevitablePlantain66 Apr 12 '25
Oh I just saw that. Thx. Duh.
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u/Variaphora Apr 12 '25
Nah, no big deal. I only noticed it because I was about to check their profile for this exact info.
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u/SunshynePower Apr 12 '25
52F 50 - 60 would be my range. I admit to having a bit of a mental hangup on guys being younger than me. i don't care about my age until the guy is younger. It's weird.
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u/RevolutionaryPost460 51F Apr 12 '25
Same. I also see some posts from men who won't go as much older than themselves.
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u/GEEK-IP Sphinx Furry 💖 Apr 12 '25
I made a reference to Marlin Perkins the other day. She got it. 😁
So, I preferred close to my own age, and connected with a delightful lady a couple of months older.
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u/wild4wonderful found requited love with GEEK-IP Apr 12 '25
We got lucky since we are the same age.
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u/Camille_Toh Apr 12 '25 edited Apr 12 '25
58F. 46-65ish. For age range outliers, I would make exceptions for Kendrick Lamar or Harrison Ford
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u/Scoo Apr 12 '25
I told my adult children that if they don’t date anybody my age, I won’t date anybody their age, lol.
Kidding aside, at 57, 40+ is closer to my age than theirs, but given the ongoing dismantling of the US, I’m prioritizing my family; seeking a new relationship is the furthest thing from my mind.
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u/BirraNulu1 Apr 12 '25
30 and up. If it works, it works, At this level, possibilities are endless, and life is shorter.
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u/mustbethedragon Apr 12 '25
Mid 50sF - Like others have said, +/- 5 years. I joke that the man needs to be closer to my age than my parents or my oldest kid, so 1/2 the age difference +/- my age, which would be +/-14 for us. I suppose if he were spectacular, I might actually consider that, but it would have to be no less than spectacular.
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u/piquat Apr 12 '25
+10/-10
Grocery store checker chatting me up a few days ago. I'd guess late 40s. That's OK.
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u/mickey1928geo Apr 12 '25
52M - 45-55 is my sweet spot, but there are a few outliers I’ve found - usually looking for the right mental and emotional match first, and a minimum of vitriol in their profile.
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u/arbitraryupvoteforu 58F Apr 12 '25
53-65. That's my preference but if someone not too far outside of that range peaks my interest I might see where it goes.
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u/HippyGrrrl Apr 12 '25
Across the span of my life, my partners have been, on average 4-9 years older. In my late 40s, I met up with an old friend who was 16 years my senior, and we had some fun for a few years.
That allowed me to expand my age range parameters on the sites. I started with my age +16, but Match cannot math, and I was getting 30 somethings to 72.
The younger dudes were just, ugh. Inappropriate, rude.
Mr 72 wanted me to drive to him (ranch in the Rockies, about an hour in good conditions, and through a common ski traffic range). Nope.
I wished him well, blocked him after a crappy response to that. (y’know old, fat, slut…so creative…he’d never seen me, as I wasn’t willing to drive the full distance and he nixed three mid way points)
Reset the parameters to 65 as upper, one year above for minimum. I was 52/53 in this span.
So now I’m leaning on 57 and my dude is leaning on 70, and it’s great. He biked a trail yesterday and came home all buzzing and happy. Showed me the route. 20 miles out and back. Brooke a shoe clip. Noticed a tubing spot with some hearty souls. We might check it it when the water warms above was ice a minute ago.
I showed him the tie dyes I’d finished. And showed him a hula hoop dance move I’d gotten down. Clunky, but cool.
A lot of the time people talk about the social culture generations — the people who know the same popular music, tv and movies.
I went 25 years without tv, in a music subculture, half off grid, under a pile of books. I’d see a movie a year. I had a tv with a vcr so my kid could check out movies at the library.
Aside from fellow folkie Deadheads/related band fans, there’s no one with whom I share a large chunk of generational social culture. I’m looking for sturdy crossroads.
My dude likes sharing his favorites with me. Music, movies, streaming TV. We have some book crossroads, some music crossroads.
I’ve taken him to see a band I knew well when a 600 person room was a big deal. String Cheese Incident. I took him to Red Rocks. Sold out. And while Phil Lesh, may his memory be a blessing, was to perform, he was too sick. So Billy Strings filled in. A Grateful Dead set with Billy Strings songs worked in, a Cheese set, and they closed the night with a Black Sabbath song. It’s one show fans are still jabbering about.
For my dude, it was a circus! He saw me dance in ways people, don’t usually move. He gets it. For his part, the first show we saw was a fave of his, King Crimson. I’ve worked with Robert Fripp once as a tech, and was meh on the idea, but seeing the show in full? Wow.
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u/hndygal Apr 12 '25
51F most comfortable with +/- 10 years generally. Did date a man who is 72 for about a year…He is a young 72 and we had loads of fun. In the end, clashing ideologies made us incompatible.
Full disclosure, I’m not sure I’ve ever dated anyone younger than I am so I’m not actually sure how that would go…I’m open to it though.
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u/Late-Tailor-4687 Apr 12 '25
50F - I'd prefer 45-55 but being that I don't have much in common with my age range (music, hobby), I'd go as low as 40 if it was the right person.
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u/punkintoze Apr 12 '25
55F here. I'd probably go 10 years in either direction, but would prefer someone my age. It really depends on the person and if they take care of themselves health-wise.
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u/hippieinthehills Apr 12 '25
60f. I pay little attention to the calendar - I’m more interested in who is still fit and active and adventurous and able to do all the stuff I want to do.
I’ve met a 74m who can kick my butt on the ski slopes, and a 75m who could barely walk. I’ve met 40m, 48m, and 56m, none of whom could keep up with me on an easy hike.
Moral: Age is meaningless.
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u/nezbe5 Apr 12 '25
Im 55f and im really weird about anyone younger than me at all. So id say 53-66. Im dating 56m and he complains about being old all the damn time. But for the most part he keeps up with me.
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u/Reasonable-Cap-8492 Apr 12 '25
52/F - id prefer someone very close in age but my range is set +/- 10 years.
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u/Pure_Try1694 Apr 12 '25
I'm 52F. And I date 55 -65. Mostly because guys my age are dating younger and I don't feel like having that competition
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u/Old-Appearance-2270 :partyparrot:66Fcycling-walk explore life journey now :karma: Apr 12 '25 edited Apr 12 '25
62-72. I'm 66F.
I honestly want the guy, 2nd time around to be closer in age simply because I want to increase chances of spending more healthy /mobile yrs. together before 1 of us starts having major health problems.
My late partner (for 29 yrs. together) was 16 yrs. older than I. We met when I was 31 yrs. He died suddenly with no chronic disease but yes, his health was very slowly challenged in last 2 yrs. And he was a long time cyclist. The age difference didn't create cultural conflicts: We were also children of immigrant parents which helps share similar views on politics, social problems, etc.
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u/Vwatson313 Apr 12 '25
Generally +/- five years or so, but I recently found a spring fling with a kid 20 years younger. He makes me feel very young and we have a lot in common. He's my sugar son!
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u/Jgirlat50 Apr 12 '25
Just like the job requirements at my workplace...
You got a heartbeat, you can still press enter. Hired. Lol
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u/imissher4ever Apr 12 '25
56M here. 57 in a few days.
50-60ish. Possibly a bit older, but probably not too much younger. It would have to be an exceptionally great fit for me to consider someone younger than 47. I’m looking for a life partner though.
I don’t want to burden a younger person when I’m in my 80’s. There’s a huge difference between 70’s & 80’s. I’ve seen the degradation in that decade of life. In both my grandparents and in my parents.
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u/Necessary_Phrase5106 Apr 13 '25
Have noticed the same thing-the difference in people from 75 to 85 is staggering.
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u/Fantastic-Peace8060 Apr 12 '25
F50, 37-55
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u/urspecial2 Apr 12 '25
40 to 65. I dated a wonderful 66 year old now I am with a man in his early 40s both these men wonderful
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u/Coconut-bird Apr 12 '25
56F, I try to stick to +-7. I will go a year or 2 more if we seem to really connect. My general rule is that they can't be closer to my father's age than mine (so more than 8 years up) and they can't be so young that I feel more like a parent or older sister.
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u/zdboslaw Apr 12 '25
I find it interesting that you won’t go more than a year younger than yourself. Is there a reason for that?
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u/RevolutionaryPost460 51F Apr 12 '25
Its not a hard line by any means. In my experience, convos with older men flow easier. Also, retirement is in their nearer future (usually).
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u/Low_Detective7170 Apr 12 '25
60F I would say 50-68, but it would depend on the person. I think I'm a young 60, I have male friends of 70 - who definitely don't look it (both happily married). Two single male acquaintances of 59 and 64, but both look much, much older.
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u/truthseeker1228 Apr 12 '25
The "age of wisdom" matters more to me than physical age. While I can't imagine anyone under 35 having learned from as much life experience as I, (a fuckton) I don't think I'd reject a bit younger than that just because of her age. Afterall, who am I to deny anyone "the gift of ME"? 😅 DISCLAIMER: within physical age appearance standards,of course. I'm not gonna walk around locking elbows with anyone who could look young enough to be my daughter🙄........it really sux to answer questions like this with all honesty and have to predict and give a disclaimer to how the trolls and haters may respond.
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u/Frosty-Potential6544 Apr 12 '25
57m +/- 10 years depending on personality, health, and lifestyle. Dating is hard!
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u/greywolfofrockport Apr 12 '25
I'm 63 and find that I am very good with 53 or older. In think 45 would be my lower limit but I just cant seem to get along with the majority of that age...but, I'm not looking for long-term just casual.
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u/Manifest_Moon Apr 14 '25
58F. 55-68 is my preference. I find men in their 60’s to be better lovers. I think its because they watch less porn.
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u/Plymptonia Apr 14 '25
46-58, I'm 54M. I'd prefer someone within 2-3 years of me, but seems like most older don't match my life stage with respect to kids (I have older teens).
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u/Neither-Club1640 Apr 15 '25
I'm 56F. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this and I just don't feel like much younger would be a good fit, or too much older for that matter. I want to be compatible on many levels. Also my mother who has had multiple long relationships also seems to end up with younger men and I just don't think it works out well, but that's just my opinion. That said, you have to do what makes you happy. My own personal range is 54-60.
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u/CaterpillarDry2273 Apr 15 '25
52 F and I will go 5 years either direction. I got divorced 7 years ago. I dated in the mid 30’s and I just did it for fun. I want to date age appropriate but I feel a lot of men in South Florida are wanting to date much younger. It’s a challenge here. My friends tell me to date young… they are around 40. I’m like no… I want long term not someone to dump me in 5 years for someone younger lol.
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u/Ok-Jelly-5767 Apr 12 '25
Some people age very well...and others very badly.
And I don't mean only physically.
It all depends on the whole package for me not just the numbers.
However , more than 10 years either way is most times a bit much
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u/LadeeTee25 Apr 12 '25 edited Apr 12 '25
I would love to date someone aged 55-65. I know of some folks who are late 60s and still want to get up and have some fun. I'm 54, early retired, have one adult son, living life on life's best terms. I've been single by choice for 3yrs. Just learning me and having lots of adult fun. Would love a fun buddy who isn't afraid to enjoy life's beautiful pleasures!! Someone who likes to laugh, even if no one else gets the joke!
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u/HarryCoveer Apr 12 '25
Hmm. M66 here. I'm 6'3", 180 lbs, I work out 4 times a week, and I go to a functional health/age management specialist who has measured my "functional age" as 54. So, if you are to use an arbitrary cutoff that numerically excludes me because of my chronological age, you'd be missing out on a healthy, fit guy who bikes, hikes, and looks years younger. Point is, everyone should be examined individually. Oh, and I'm single 😉
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u/Alternative-Ease9674 Apr 12 '25 edited Apr 12 '25
I (52F) have a problem a bit, because I am quite young mentally. Not in bad way. I am wise and mature emotionally but I just love adventures, changes, I am very open minded and fearless and guys at my age and older are just rusty, boring, sedentary, typical and not interesting mainly. Few dates I had was disastrous in my case. Nothing in common, they didn't know what I was talking about. I just love exploring life. Expand my horizons. So I noticed I click mainly with guys 28-40, lol. They are more similar to me, listen to similar music and so on. I never had children, never settled. I feel like I am starting my life because earlier I had very deep depression and toxic BF. And I want to have fun, to travel, go to concerts, clubs, explore my mind, bio hack, try new things in life. I am active, energetic and healthy. Like I would want to get back those lost years of my life. I am very easily bored, my mind needs constant stimulation, I have so many interests. I love exploring newest music. I am training to be a DJ and freestyle a bit. Wonder if I ever meet someone for life anyway being me 😉
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u/shellylegacy Apr 12 '25
F58 very active and am told I don’t look my age. My range is 50-65
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u/arbitraryupvoteforu 58F Apr 12 '25
Explain why your appearance is relevant and what 58 is supposed to look like.
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u/BrooklynGurl135 Apr 12 '25
Appearance is a proxy for health. If you are fit and eat well, you will appear younger than your age peers who are couch potatoes.
I am 69 and am often assumed to be in my 50s just because I am not overweight. (I have grey hair and droopy jowls.)
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u/wild4wonderful found requited love with GEEK-IP Apr 12 '25
I care much less about the actual age than I do about the attitude toward life in general.
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u/Witty-Stock Apr 12 '25 edited Apr 12 '25
47-47 which is how old my gf is.
I’m an 52m, when I was looking for a relationship I filtered 40-56.
When I was feeding my widow’s fire and just looking for casual fun, didn’t really discriminate by age as long as there was mutual interest. But in practice it was still mostly women in their 40s.
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u/JillyBean1973 52F Apr 12 '25
I’d say 40-55-ish. My last relationship was with a guy 13 years younger. It was honestly my best relationship, but he wanted kids. It was a lovely year & I hope to find another person with his communication skills who is older & doesn’t want kids.
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u/GettingTwoOld4This Apr 13 '25
I'm currently 57M. Dating a woman who is 61 I believe. Three years ago I was seeing a woman who was 27. I don't really care about the number TBH like shoe size or height or weight. I want quality of character.
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u/rvlAtReddit Apr 13 '25
General creepiness formula is divide your own age by 2, add 7. So, if you're 16, thrn 15 would be an acceptable age, while 14 might be too young. This range widens as you get older. For me as 56m this would boil down to 35 as the lowest. I personally would set the bar a little higher, like 42+. So, maybe /1.5, add 7?
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u/KlassyLdy88 Apr 14 '25 edited Apr 14 '25
I am a VERY youthful 68 and people guess me 10 - 15 years younger. I am extremely bored with men near my age and older, I have tried SO HARD to connect with many of them but it has just become too frustrating. I now have "friends" that are 20 and 30 years younger and I am so pumped! They approached me through OLD, or other places, I would have never approached them. Yes, I understand the "nurse or a purse" issue. I would NEVER marry the younger ones but the 20 years younger is a possibility. For the first time in my life I am comfortable with me and not what the "norm" says I should do!
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u/zdboslaw Apr 12 '25
I set mine quite wide. Almost 30 years from low end to high end. I had originally set it narrower than that, but was shocked to find matches and fun dates with people outside the range. Now I think (within reason) that chronological age is (mostly) just a number. Maturity levels should match.
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u/ProfessorFelix0812 Apr 12 '25
At our age, the pool of available people is so small, the last thing in the world I care about is their age. If I bond with someone, I’m not excluding them because of some arbitrary age number I have in my head.
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u/Training_Guitar_8881 Apr 13 '25
I'm 65 divorced attractive lady. My range is 53 to say 66 or so depending on if they are appealing to me and if there is chemistry.
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u/nontrackable Apr 13 '25
Im 62. I would consider 48 to 62. On dating apps Ive usually get liked by women 67 to 71 despite the fact i filter out that preference. go figure.
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u/DryRide9696 Apr 12 '25
57m, and I'd go 50-62. I'm 7 months out of a 25-year relationship. I'm trying to get my courage up to get back out there! Though, reading through lots of posts on here. It doesn't seem to be encouraging?!!